Do you reward your children with pocket money for their achievements? Share your thoughts - £200 to be won

[EllieSmumsnet]

Following NatWest Rooster Money’s latest Pocket Money Index we want to know: Have you ever thought about rewarding you kids for their achievements? Many parents believe that financial rewards can be a strong incentive for doing well at school or exams, good behaviour or completing homework. We’d love to hear your views on this approach. Do you reward your children with pocket money? Or do you have other methods for motivating them to excel in their studies? Share your thoughts and advice!

●Post your thoughts in the thread below to be entered into a Mumsnet prize draw
●One lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice (from this list of VEX retailers).
●The closing date for entries will be 16th July 2024.

Here’s what some of our users say about the Natwest Rooster Card:

‘Very easy to transfer money, I get a notification when they’ve spent money, they can withdraw cash, use contactless etc. You have loads of control too e.g. whether they can use it for online purchases etc.’ Giggling girl

‘We have a Natwest Rooster Card which is linked to chores. Ds8 almost 9 gets £5 per week and has been able to save up for roller skates…that he has wanted and it works really well for us.’ LunaLoveFood

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Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!

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They get pocket money as a regular thing

And special treats as a reward for effort

Have you looked in to "the Growth Mindset" ?

Chores are not negotiable and are to be done and therefore unpaid in this house. You do the chore otherwise there are sanctions rather than financial reward but it has never come to that as we built the chore load over the years so they were used to doing things from an early age.

A Good attitude is what we financially reward with pocket money, so a good attitude to school work and education and a good attitude when asked to do ad hoc things ie to help unpack the shopping when we come home with it. The same with things like gardening, it may only happen every other month and even if they don't like something, their attitude and demeanor are what we reward.

We frame this as we want something you want money so this is like working. Your boss/company expects this from you, you do it, you get a financial reward.

Excelling at their studies was done by pointing out how much free time they truly have per week and getting homework done and out of the way means it is not weighing on your mind and you are free to play after a certain time. Plus showing them the long game, GCSE grades to A level, uni entry grades and the reality of what that actually means in terms of who they offer to. That higher grades means more doors are open to you.

Yes we reward with extra pocket money. They each have a "pot" they can spend and a pot they save in. I'm pleased that both kids seem to want to save more than spend and think through their purchases carefully.

DS always got pocket money regardless, but for his GCSEs we decided to bribe incentivise him with specific amounts per grade (eg.£20 for an 8, £50 for a 9 etc). The reason was that because he's very bright he didn't see the need to study, and we figured this would make the difference between 'good' grades and 'exceptional' ones. We were right, and he admitted he wouldn't have bothered without that incentive...

Doing small chores, being polite without being reminded, going to bed nicely.
All small things, but very important, and they can choose to spend or save. I try to keep rewards similar with my DC's to as not to promote rivalry

I think giving pocket money gives your child some financial responsibility, and knowing doing good work gets rewarded, I am in the process of applying for a Natwest Rooster Card to also learn my DC about the technical side of running a bank account.
My DC's get spending money for doing well at school, recycling, being tidy, and helping in the garden in summer - weeding and watering.

Now that he's older he has started mowing the lawn and weeding so he can earn extra pocket money.

Rewards for doing well at something or putting a lot of effort in are usually going out for a meal or to the cinema rather than money

Just a small amount of pocket money each week and supplemented by extra for doing chores etc.

To reward achievement is wrong - rewarding effort is the key

Agree re: rewarding effort rather than achievement for my 9yo DS, that may change as he becomes a teenager and GCSEs loom!

We don't pay for chores, he gets weekly pocket money which he mainly saves up rather than spends. He seems to have more disposable income than me!

My teen gets regular monthly pocket money. I pay them to cut the grass as well - it's a big job that we hate doing, so it's well worth it to us (£10 for front and back gardens, which doesn't seem a lot now I'm looking at it!).

I've never given money as a reward for good behaviour or achievement. I don't think I could put a price on that. It's usually an experience or other treat for those sorts of things.

My middle child is in Y10. His school have a points system, both positive and negative that gets tallied up every week and uploaded onto the ap.

We reward him £2 per positive point and he loses £5 per negative. We transfer the money straight into his bank account. He usually gets between £8-20 a week.

We have also agreed a set sum per GCSE grade, eg £50 for a 9, £30 for an 8, £20 for a 7, £10 for a 6.

They are expected to lots of chores

However if they fail to tidy their rooms when the cleaner comes they lose a fiver a week. This quite often pays for half the cleaners costs!

Yes I reward - we have a chart on the wall - with stickers which equate to £1's for good behavior, good school work, and being kind to siblings - this is put into a bank account and they have to save some and can spend some at the supermarket with a chip and pin card they have attached to their bank. It's a really good way of improving my sanity at home and rewarding them

DD, now 19 and at Uni has grown into a lovely young woman who is considerate, capable and gives up her time voluntarily. Yes I am a little biased.

We gave her pocket money but would deduct for mean behaviour and give for generous behaviour. It also has to be about examples from parents not just the money. Making tea, taking coats at a party, giving her time to a charity were all rewarded. In the end she saw the reward of seeing others happy, learning or safer as better than money. She has gone off to Uni and helps with a Brownie pack there, just like she did at home for four years previously, she doesn’t get a penny for it, she often has to compromise on time with friends but she gets a real boost from helping others.

Her academic achievements are a reward in themselves. She knows she has tried her best and got the results she deserved and it opened doors for her future. A meal out to celebrate cements that sense of achievement but money isn’t necessary to be part of the reward.

We give priority to experiences. We make a big deal of achievements and reward with this. A meal out, ice cream shop visit, day at the farm park. Making memories rather than money which gets whittled away on sweets or video games.

My teens get a small amount of pocket money, not related to chores or behaviour. They all have jobs to earn extra money.
Chores are expected as part of the family responsibility.

As far as schoolwork is concerned I'm more interested in their good mental health than good grades. So although we acknowledge success we praise effort more and don't pile on pressure. Dd16 just finished GCSEs and got a small present and card saying how proud we are of her hard work. The results will be their own reward not money from us.

I object to the poll because there isn't a "none of the above" option.

My dd is a young adult now but I never treated her as my employee and I didn't ever pay her for "working". I expect her to contribute to the household because she lives in it, and we all have to pull our weight. I expect her to behave well because I have brought her up to be a decent human being... not because she will get a handout in return. As for getting good grades/doing homework, these were things that she did for herself and not for me, because she understood that it was her future that they would impact on. Intrinsic motivation is not encouraged by rewarding kids for stuff that they should do anyway, and I taught my dc that the "reward" for doing her best is in feeling satisfied that she has given things her best effort.

Any money that I give to my dd is given freely without strings attached, simply because I love her and want to support her. It has never been tied to other expectations which were entirely separate. Raising her without external punishments or rewards and more of a focus on being the best person that she can be because that is inherently rewarding in itself has resulted in a young adult that has high levels of confidence and self esteem, high levels of intrinsic motivation and a strong sense of being accountable for her own choices.

I don’t reward for good behaviour as one I believe that is expected, but also i allow a bit of leeway, kids need to push their boundaries some times and have tantrums (like a pressure cooker) as long as it is not violent and at school/public I allow them to destress at home. No one can be on their best behaviour all the time, I remember being a child/teen and feeling like I had all the answers. I believe trying to ‘be good’ could lead to other emotional issues further down the line, trying to please others, seeking validation from others. Behaviour is also very subjective, everyone has different values and beliefs. I do reward however for academic achievements.

My DC have all been given regular pocket money to spend as they wish, but they have to do chores around the house to keep getting it. My older 2 were taken out for a meal on getting good exam results to celebrate but not rewarded with money. We don't and haven't offered extra pocket for good behaviour as they have always behaved well, though I imagine if any of them had bad behaviour at any point money may have been a good incentive

Household chores for us are not only a way for a child to learn to earn money - they are also learning skills - ours do some gardening, cleaning, painting fences, and taking care of pets for their spending money. I am thinking about a debit card for spending as another life skill to learn.

No not for standard jobs (clearing the table and so on) but I have offered extra pocket money for bigger jobs.

Like other MN'ers have said - it's a part of life, working to earn money and learning to save for something they want - a bank account to monitor this is a really good idea.
Mine get spending money for helping with the shopping -putting it away in the fridge and cupboards, dusting the living room shelves, keeping their bedroom tidy - sometimes I give a spontaneous £5 for something they have said or done which makes me feel proud - and they absolutely love when this happens (plus it's an extra incentive)

I always expected my DC to help with everyday chores such as laying and clearing the table, filling and emptying the dishwasher, keeping their rooms tidy, etc. For me that was just a normal part of pulling together as a family and not something that needed to be rewarded.

I didn't reward them for doing well at school either. I knew they would do their best and didn't feel I needed to motivate them or pressurize them any further. One of my DD's friends was promised a bike if she passed the entrance exam to a particular school. She didn't pass and she didn't get the bike either. I thought that was a dreadful way to treat a child.

We did go out for a nice meal when my DC got their exam results but that was a celebration not a reward.

They did get pocket money but that was really to give them practice in managing money rather than a reward for anything in particular. I stopped it once for two weeks when my teenage DS lost his entire sports kit twice in two weeks, but other than that it wasn't dependent on good behaviour. It was just something decent parents do rather than something they had to earn.

Some children are motivated by money, others less so. For exams, some children are motivated in themselves to do well (I was), but others don't see the big picture so much, and it helps to offer an incentive. For one of mine, money works quite well - or a new pair of trainers, etc.
I would prefer if they wanted to excel just for themselves but it has definitely helped them work harder to know there might be some cash. I would reward the effort "you've worked hard enough to get a 6, here's the money" rather than waiting for the results and it turning out to be a 5. Or a 7, well, maybe I'd up it if they exceed their target.

Never. I've always thought it was a terrible idea. Surely good grades (which mean you get on the course you want, get the job you want etc) are the reward for working hard in exams.