How do you keep up with the technology & apps your kids are using? - £200 voucher to be won

[MaddyMumsnet]

Created for Vodafone
This activity is now closed.

Have the tech-tables turned on you? It can feel impossible to keep tabs on all the technology our children have access to when everything from our TVs and gaming consoles, to fridges and doorbells are connected. In fact, many parents feel their kids know more than them when it comes to digital technology. Therefore, we want to know whether you have tips on becoming more digital savvy.

• Post your stories, challenges or tips in the thread below to be entered into a prize draw
  
• One lucky MNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice.
  

Here’s what Vodafone has to say:
“At Vodafone, we see taking action to help keep children safe online a priority. That’s why we’ve launched Digital Parenting Pro, one of the biggest parental controls and safety settings resources in the UK, to empower parents and carers to keep up with their kids and improve their own digital skills."

“Our research reveals parents and carers feel their child’s digital knowledge overtakes their own by the age of 12, this shows just how digitally savvy children are these days. Our new content rich hub is a place for adults to get information so they can feel confident about what their kids are up to online, what social media they use, games they play and threats they might come across."

“You can find the resources here.”

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw!
MNHQ

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[jacqui5366]

I go to a youtube tutorial - there's an expert for everything

[ohdannyboy]

I think I am quite savvy when it comes to tech, and helping protect my children from unwanted messages and contact - I ask them to let me know what apps they are using, I have set controls with my ISP, and have taken training at work for IT skills - the only thing I am not informed of is coding

[lovemyflipflops]

I feel I have kept up to date with technology, but do feel that my children are ahead of me - I don't really understand snapchat - and any new app which comes - a new one is telegram - another messaging service - I trust my children's instincts, and have spoken with them around letting me know if anything bothers them on-line - but I am really concerned about grooming on-line via messaging service of catfishing with a profile picture. My security settings are pre-set - but I do not know how to change them - or how to block new messages from undesirables

[CatNamedEaster]

I don't feel like I'm ready for DS to overtake me. I'm peri-menopausal, work full time, have parents/in-laws who use up time and I have to reset my banking passwords every time as I forget them.
I have no idea how I am going to feel in any way knowledgeable about all of this (I mean in a way that DS will listen to and not inwardly think what a dinosaur I am).

[HobNobAddict]

My tips are talk to your children about not accepting friend requests from unknowns, talk to me about anything they are uncomfortable with - my challenges are feeling pressured to get the 'latest Iphone' and constantly saying no - peer pressure over gadgets and phones is such a concern.

[littlecottonbud]

I have had a look at the resources - and I will bookmark these for future reference. My 12 year old is just naturally intuitive with my smart TV, adding my smart devices - my tip would be try to do this yourself as I would never learn - how hard could be be 😂

[Andsoforth]

I’m very open with my dc about my difficulties with tech and I ask them for feedback; encourage them to share what they know and tell me what they think. They already have the upper hand and pretending otherwise is counter productive.

If I have misgivings about a platform, I share those with them, and I listen to their reasons for wanting particular apps. By listening to them, I’m encouraging them to listen to me. Sometimes we try something out as a family to see what it’s like before they can use it with friends. Recently with Snapchat, my dd concluded that she didn’t want it after all. It was easier for her to back out at that point than if she’d started using it with friends or downloaded it secretly.

I can’t shelter them completely as much as I’d really, really like that. So I’m leaning into helping them assess risk, empowering them to choose wisely and also to weather their bad choices. So far they’ve been pretty savvy.

It’s bloody terrifying though.

[BristolMum96]

I monitor my child's iPad. She doesn't have access to other tech. It's got strict parental controls and needs a password to download anything. I always test new apps before giving her free rein on them. Internet is basically locked down, no access

[sharond101]

Parenting forums on social media are usually helpful. My Husband is a computer geek so I trust his judgement too. It's difficult when all their friends of the same age or younger are using the apps and tech.

[ChappellApple]

Keeping good lines of communication with your young person is really important. The voice of the child should be listened to, otherwise we could miss really key parts of what they are trying to say to us, which includes subtle hints of what is going on in the background of their lives - at school and online, they need to feel they can trust you to open up about it all, thus securing support for their needs. Also, a lot of potential bullying/grooming happens late at night (when young people should be asleep anyway and not stressed), so consider all portable devices to be handed to caregivers at a reasonable time before bedtime. This could also enable a healthy sleep routine of perhaps reading and/or meditation before lights out.

[Gawpygertie]

I'm 65 and my dn is 24.
Yesterday she said she couldn't get to the bank.
I taught her how to deposit a chq on her phone.
It's not all one way!

[Iceysuperslide]

My knowledge is decent, I’m in my fifties because I did some programming and was writing web pages back in the 1990’s when it was all in its infancy. DH is not a programmer but did consider re training as one and can write in three different languages though they are older ones. His knowledge surpasses most peoples. DS is decent with IT, I actually think that these days it seems easier. I can remember when setting up a PC took a real effort.

I am a moderator on a discord forum, an invite only one, I can easily set up games consoles. I found a safety article on MN a few years ago it was pretty poor about gaming and it was obvious whoever wrote it didn’t actually game. If I come across a child playing online in voice comms I judge the parents. It’s not the game that the issue it’s allowing your child to speak to who could be anyone. I can handle myself but have had rape threats and all sorts in voice comms.

@lovemyflipflops No child should have anyone but friends they have in real life on any type of messaging platform unless heavily monitored. As a lifelong gamer my top tip is games consoles never in bedrooms.

Gaming is the absolute Wild West that people that are not tech savvy seem to know the least about.

When you look at Fortnite looking for people to play with on Xbox it has requests like I am a 13 year old girl looking for a boyfriend msg me. Or role play, I will be the brother , need a sister and a Mom it’s all really weird. I have lost count of the weirdos I have had to block or report.

[DinkyDaffodil]

@Iceysuperslide good tips and advise thank you - and yes it's gaming consoles which I have no idea of how to control, but I do not think my 14 yo will want to play in sight of me - or me him - they should be able to game with friends me worrying about who is on-line with them - or if there are any PS or Xbox settings which I can look at to prevent unwanted persons being added to my friends list

Any tips from Mumsnetters who can help with console controls would be most welcome - do settings on my ISP help with gaming controls -

[Yvonne822]

I tend to go by recommendations from family and friends and sites such as musnet for the best insights into keeping up with my kids tech! The landscape is ever changing and its hard to keep up as a busy mum so to make my life easier its great to have any relevant guidance saved in one place.

[Iceysuperslide]

@DinkyDaffodil Look at YouTube for a tutorial on how to do settings, of course your DS could go in and change them back so be aware. You can set it up so you only receive messages from friends..

My DS would certainly have preferred his console in his room but it was tough.

One thing about gaming is different communities which is game dependant can have more toxic player bases than others. People worry about messages but actually toxicity is more about voice comms. If a msg is sent it’s proof and can be reported. You can record party chat but obviously it’s after stuff has been said so probably too late .Discord is the platform of choice for gamers, it is like the Wild West as any pic or video can be sent.

I think the issue now is there are multiple messaging and social media sites unless you see their phones you have no idea what they are on. Demanding to see them puts you in a sort of clashing situation. I remember getting instagram and asking DS about setting it up, I knew perfectly well how to do it but it opened a conversation. Best way to deal with teens it’s to let them think they are as clever as they think they are without letting them know that they in fact know bugger all. Good luck.

[ButtonMoonLoon]

My daughter has a phone, an iPad and a laptop that goes to school with her each day. I’ve downloaded monitoring on all of them using a combination of Qustodio andGoogle Family Link ( although this doesn’t cover Apple devices)
Using those, I’m able to look at what apps she’s downloading and how long she spends on them, and set limits for use of each app and device.

[voyager50]

I make sure he shows me anything he is using and put blocks on whatever I think isn't suitable

[Oblomov23]

I don't really understand the question. Yes ds's are better than us, more techy generally, but I can't think of anything specifically that Dh and I can't do.

Gawpy, I don't know how to deposit a chq online, but I've just looked it up and Nationwide doesn't, so that's why.

[queenoftheschoolrun]

Kids do know more about digital technology - they learn from their peers and are always at least one step ahead. We limited screen time using an app but friends came up with a way to get round it. We removed the Whatsapp app so they used the browser version. Now we just remove the phone!

[WestOfWestminster]

Google Family Link is a great app for parents - you can restrict content, sites, check what they are using, restict app useage, set time limits, and track their phone if needed. You can set a bedtime for the device too. Its a great all in one place type app. Lots of families I know use it and works well for them too.

[DanBenandBud]

My DS can instinctively retune my smart TV - connect devices to the WIFI - I can go to youtube for this - there's always an expert for everything - my worry is the loopholes in games consoles - My DS plays (within earshot of me) on his switch and I can hear his pals in the background - I don't know how to police this - delete unwanted friends, view any messages - and when/if he wants to play in his bedroom - how can i protect him - these devices are beyond me.
Help !

[ButterOllocks]

My challenges are keeping up with all of the apps - telegram is the latest my DD has installed - who can message her on that - and smart assistants - I swear if I talk about something - for example wanting some noise cancelling earphones - adverts appear on my newsfeed for just this thing - coincidence - I think not. I love my smart devices but now they feel like a spy in my home

[MumC2141]

At the moment they just have kindle fire for kids tablets, so we know they can only see age appropriate content.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

I think it is important to keep channels of communication open with your children and take an interest in what they do. I also use 'Family Link' to manage my son's phone use and make sure safe search is enabled. However, I accept that at some point he will see something he shouldn't. but hopefully he will feel able to come and talk to me about it.

[LittleDeeAndME]

Seems to me like gaming consoles are the achilles heel of our knowledge - I'd like my DS to interact with his peers on gaming platforms - but want the right settings. Youtube as others have mentioned seems to be really helpful. I feel ok with my phone, connecting my devices to wifi and my ISP settings. The cyber world is a place I would like more control over for sure.