Let's talk taboo topics with Modibodi

[JustineBMumsnet]

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There are many topics that are traditionally considered taboo - and whether that’s discussing your period, the menopause, money whether you have it or not, or topics like incontience or sex, talking about taboo topics can sometimes be helpful, and so Modibodi would like to hear about the ways you talk about taboo topics with your friends and family.

Here’s what Modibodi has to say: “Modibodi™ is modern, protective apparel, created for real women. real bodies. real leaks! We cater to give all bodies more confidence and comfort, and a more sustainable solution to disposable hygiene. Our founder and CEO, Kristy Chong, spent almost two years working scientists and designers, developing, and testing the patented Modifier Technology™ that makes up the super stylish leak-proof knickers into the Modibodi collection. We have a UK team and warehouse, with same day dispatch, so you can get your Modibodi quickly! Modibodi also gives back to women in need through their Give A Pair program.”

“Modibodi believes that making a positive impact should be as easy as changing the undies we wear and now your swimwear too. Along with our sister brand RED, which is period proof protective undies for tweens and teens, we want all women and young girls to feel confident and be leak free. If you don’t believe us, try them for yourself with a 30-day free trial.
Modibodi offers FREE shipping in the UK and Northern Ireland, and are currently offering Mumsnet users 12% off their first order with the code ‘mumstaboo’ on their site. Offer excludes packs, gift cards and sale items.”

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation? Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office? Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

However you discuss topics that are traditionally taboo, share a comment below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list) and one MNer will win a £100 Modibodi voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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I am very open to discussions with my daughters and am always there if they need to ask questions
This sounds like a great idea

I think you just have to go with honesty from the get-go, from when they’re really young. My DC understand all about periods - why women have them, how it’s connected to women’s bodies preparing for a baby every month and how that ties in with sex and how babies are conceived.

My DC2 apparently informed all her 7&8-year-old friends all about it too, so I was told by a mum at school! I didn’t apologise (she wasn’t annoyed but a little bit “I didn’t expect my 7 year old to know that already”) because we don’t withhold the truth, I feel really strongly about that.

I think the new reusables trend is great, and I love the social responsibility of Modibodi in giving away free pairs to women in need.

Love Modibodi pants and I have recommended them to all my friends

I always felt awkward talking to my mum about periods and wanted my daughter to not feel the same. She has seen me deal with my periods when she was small and came to the loo with me so she has been aware from a young age and I have matter of factly answered any questions. I think so far she is comfortable talking about her developing body which i am really pleased about.

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?
My daughter has not started her periods yet but we have discussed why they happen and she has some sanitary products ready for when it does happen. DS also knows about how periods.

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?
I have not discussed leaks but will do once DD has started her periods. It is not something I have discussed with friends.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you?
I feel very uncomfortable talking about money, I see it as a private matter.

Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?
I hadn't thought of the menopause as being a taboo subject, we talk about it a lot at work as there are several women of a similar age to me who are all at varying different stages of the menopause. It has helped being able to talk about it with people who understand what it is like.

I'm glad my parents never viewed menstruation as 'taboo'. So much so that when me and my sister asked my 3 brothers (aged 7, 9, and 11) what they would do for their future girlfriends at the 'time of the month', the first one said 'run her a warm bubble bath' the second one said 'make her a cup of tea' and the third one said 'back rub'!!!! Trained well.

I don't think we have any taboo topics, though we avoid gory talk at the dinner table!
DD got her first period on holiday, we went to a foreign supermarket together and got her SanPro to see her through.
We are open about the choice and use of SanPro, DS is happy to pick up pads or tampons for DD on his way back from college, or get some at the supermarket with DH to donate to the food bank.
When the kids play Cards Against Humanity with their friends, we are usually on hand to give simple factual explanations of the terms on the cards (the go-to phrase is "don't Google it, ask mum!").
There are plenty of things I discuss with my kids that I wouldn't dream of saying in front of my own parents!

Taboo subjects depend on the relationship I have with somebody.

I can talk periods matter of factly with my daughter, that’s not at all taboo.

Sex is a bit of a taboo topic with friends, not sure why as I am very open and not at all worried about talking specifics. I have a new friend who is way more frank and I live it

My 9yo just started her periods last week but didn't realise. I found out when doing the washing. I ordered her some modibodi pants so she wouldn't have to worry about changing pads at school. I put together a starter pack in a nice box, with a bar of chocolate and a couple of types of pad, tampons and pant liners. We had a lovely chat. I told her about when my mum noticed I'd had my period before i knew, I'd been rolling around on the sofa and my mum had said "don't do that in them knickers" and so I went to the loo and saw I'd started. I told her a similar thing happened with her because I noticed from her washing that she'd had her first period. She had noticed and thought "that's a bit weird" but hadn't realised what it was or thought much about it. I showed her all the types of sanitary products and told her how to use them, and told her about the period pants I've ordered. I used the book "Taking charge of your fertility" and explained what happens when you have a period using the diagrams and photos from the book. I showed her the page on vulvas and explained they all look a bit different but we all have the same thing. I said it's a good idea to have a look with a mirror so if ever it hurts or feels funny she can tell if it looks different from normal. I showed her the cervical fluid page and said all those types are healthy and normal through the month etc. I told her sometimes boys don't get taught all this so when she's much older and has a boyfriend he might be expecting a barbie doll or think a period lasts a whole month or silly things, but she knows better! We did questions and answers and I let her know she could ask me anything any time, or ask for a girlie chat if she doesn't want to ask something in front of her brother or whoever. I think I nailed it tbh! We owe it to our daughters not to be embarrassed by our own bodies and normal biological functions. My dd was happy and proud after our chat. She knows there's nothing to worry about and that she can ask me anything. The modibodi pants I ordered arrived within 2 days and look great. I'm tempted to get some for myself!

I’m a very private person and dislike discussing health and personal issues whereas dh will happily chat to anyone who will listen about his circumcision a few years ago or the fact that he needs some prunes as he’s constipated.........cringe. However this does mean I can leave him to discuss intimate issues with the boys

I am very open with my (primary aged) children about our bodies. Our dog is currently in heat and therefore bleeding. Obviously it is slightly different but my children refer to the fact the dog is "having her period".
They know it is normal.

Likewise, before my daughter (who is 10) went on school camp I spoke to her about what to do if her periods started whilst she was away. She didn't want to take supplies as she would have been embarrassed if one of her friends had seen them. We decided that she would go and speak to one of the female teachers as they would be able to help her.

I am predicting I will have my period at both festivals I will attend this summer. I really really don't want to go back to pads or tampons, but I don't know if I can rinse my period pants in front of other people?

Would you consider a moon cup? You would need to rinse it out, but could probably do it with a little bottle of water somewhere after emptying the blood down the toilet?

I agree nuts that we have become so embarrassed about a completely normal bodily function.

I try to speak about my period normally with my family. I remember being terrified of starting my period growing up, I really dreaded it, I don't want my daughters to feel the same.

I haven't had many periods in recent years due to pregnancy and breastfeeding, but I will get these pants soon. I wonder how they are with flooding though? I use a moon cup which I like, but occasionally I flood suddenly and it leaks (less often than a tampon would leak by the way).

I could talk to my mum but when the hushed conversations were officially over she wouldn't want to talk about in general life and I couldn't talk to my dad at all. I will be very open when the time comes and will tell my little girl everything she might need to know, without scaring her that is! I now tend to buy tena lady for the heavy days as they just work so much better and I'd presently never swim on a heavy day, so I'd like to find a solution to that as I think it would help with the pain.

I talk to my sisters about pretty much everything. Texts or conversations are often prefaced with "This is tmi but...".
Since having 2 kids and going through all the stuff that comes with it (intrusive exams/sweeps, stitches after tearing, incontinence, faecal incontinence) I'm now a lot more open about talking about sensitive or taboo things in my own home. Definitely need to work on it with doctors though! My daughters are only young but I'm hoping to approach periods with an open and practical attitude. There are multiple options available to them that weren't common when I started.
I now use reusable pads and occasionally a mooncup and have been wanting to try period knickers so this is a timely thread!

I taught sex and relationship education to primary aged children for many years. We talked about periods, wet dreams and all sorts of topics with both boys and girls. Hopefully this helped them talk about taboo subjects later on in life.

I was determined my dd wouldn’t have the embarrassment I had as a teenager, my mum had moved out so I had to cope with periods on my own. I would try and re-use pads rather than having to go into a scary, old fashioned chemist and ask a ( usually older, male ) assistant for sanitary pads in front of all the other customers.
I buy my dd supplies and try and be approachable. Period pants sound like a really good idea to reduce the risk of embarrassing leaks.

l talk about menopause,l feel like the first generation who talk about this so much so that l find myself confused and concerned about my future as an aging woman.l asked an elderly aunt as she was my only senior biological relation but this just lead to the end of our relationship.
But getting back to these period pants great idea and it would be marvelous if we could somehow fund and supply to our homeless sisters.

I've plunged straight in with 9yo DD1 recently. First I bought a book about growing up and I read it aloud with her. It helped me get over my initial embarassment then I was able to answer any questions she had.

Both DC have known about periods and sex for a long time but it was time for the eldest to have a bit more detail about san pro etc.

What I didn't do was skim ahead and accidentally read her the page on masturbation... at least she knows now .

I think it’s difficult to talk about but maybe it’s the way some of us were brought up. It was maybe mentioned once to me as a child and therefore it’s not seen as a ‘topic for conversation’ I’m glad these days the subjects are more normalised as really this is just biology!

My 11 year old is autistic so I’ve trod carefully re:heavy periods/incontinence both things I suffer with. Periods I say about unfertilised eggs that if fertilised make babies (haven’t gone into how there fertilised). Also he understands mummy wears a pad every day and if she needs to go to wee she needs to go to wee!

Having grown up in a house where periods were never mentioned and a hidden secret, I have made sure that sanitary towels, Tampa's etc. are plainly visible in the bathroom cupboard, as are a large box of condoms for the three teens in our household.
Period pants and blood leaked sheets are soaked in a bucket in the bathroom for all to see !

There are no taboos and my daughter is happy to share with her dad and brothers when she's suffering with a heavy period.

Recently a friend of my daughters asked my husband if he could get her some sanitary protection as he was going shopping. I see this as a fantastic example of how the next generation are not weighed down by the furtive sense of guilt I felt growing up.

I never spoke about periods to my dad. In fact my parents never gave me the talk - just a book about growing up! I've already had to explain some things to my young children and I just try to be as matter as fact as possible, with the level of detail appropriate to their age. We shouldn't be embarrassed about what our bodies do. I really like this age of period pants! Wish I'd had them as a teen.

We are fairly open about things in our house. Most things we can talk about easily. My children are still very young but once they are 8 or 9 I will start having the conversation

Dc are still young (toddler and preschooler), but I'm trying to be open with them about basic biology like periods. They've not asked how babies get made but planning to give matter of fact simple explanations when they do.

I'm not that open with most friends about sex, but do have one i can talk to if i want. It does feel quite a private topic between me and dp. More biological stuff like periods, peri menopause etc feels less embarrassing.

Politics, financrs, religion all feel less taboo with good friends, but I'd steer more clear with colleagues and people i know less well.