Let's talk taboo topics with Modibodi

[JustineBMumsnet]

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There are many topics that are traditionally considered taboo - and whether that’s discussing your period, the menopause, money whether you have it or not, or topics like incontience or sex, talking about taboo topics can sometimes be helpful, and so Modibodi would like to hear about the ways you talk about taboo topics with your friends and family.

Here’s what Modibodi has to say: “Modibodi™ is modern, protective apparel, created for real women. real bodies. real leaks! We cater to give all bodies more confidence and comfort, and a more sustainable solution to disposable hygiene. Our founder and CEO, Kristy Chong, spent almost two years working scientists and designers, developing, and testing the patented Modifier Technology™ that makes up the super stylish leak-proof knickers into the Modibodi collection. We have a UK team and warehouse, with same day dispatch, so you can get your Modibodi quickly! Modibodi also gives back to women in need through their Give A Pair program.”

“Modibodi believes that making a positive impact should be as easy as changing the undies we wear and now your swimwear too. Along with our sister brand RED, which is period proof protective undies for tweens and teens, we want all women and young girls to feel confident and be leak free. If you don’t believe us, try them for yourself with a 30-day free trial.
Modibodi offers FREE shipping in the UK and Northern Ireland, and are currently offering Mumsnet users 12% off their first order with the code ‘mumstaboo’ on their site. Offer excludes packs, gift cards and sale items.”

How would you talk to your daughter about her period? Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation? Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office? Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

However you discuss topics that are traditionally taboo, share a comment below to be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 voucher for the store of their choice (from a list) and one MNer will win a £100 Modibodi voucher.

Thanks and good luck!

MNHQ

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My own Mum never talked to me about periods, I started, told my older sister who was less than kind about it, was given a pack of pads. No explanation, no discussion. I asked my Mum how often I should change it, as often as you feel was the reply. Geez thanks for nothing.

I have endometriosis so from a young age my two sons knew about period pain, that Mummy liked chocolate and gentle hugs and cups of tea.

My sons are 16 and 13, totally un-phased by periods, talk of periods, there are no euphemisms - I am on my period. They have helped attached TENs machine pads to my back, ran baths for me, brought me endless cups of tea, made food for me and know where Dh keeps the emergency stash of chocolate for me. They also see the effect of codeine on me (space cadet.) They are aware that I am the extreme, that some women experience little blood loss and no pain.

They know about incontinence leakage because I am lucky enough not to experience it, they have heard me and my sister (yes the one above who is lovely now) talk about being on a trampoline and my sister talking about Tena lady.

My sons had reusable nappies, I have reusable san pro, a menstrual cup and reusable make up pads. I have yet to try period pants.

My children know they can talk to me about anything and I will answer any questions, but I will not talk to them about sex between me and my Dh - their Dad. So I will talk about sexual acts but not whether Dh and I do that or not.

We have talked about consent both just putting your hands on someone to play fight as well as if you should comfort someone with a hand on an arm etc and also sexual consent.

The only topic taboo I suppose is money, not money itself or spending etc just what Dh earns, I am a SAHM. They know what money we each earned after we graduated university but that is it.

I talk openly about pregnancy related inconteinance, menopause, periods and a variety of subjects

By keeping 'women's issues' private we are contributing to the idea that they are less important than mens issues - the NHS certainly seems to think so - how many threads discuss debilitation periods etc and have "the doctor/nurse said to live with it/put up with it" reported

DD is 19. I never hid periods from her; she'd follow me to the loo from the moment she was mobile, questions started at around 2.5yrs, answered age apropriately. Her own periods started quite early, by then she knew a great deal about them anyway.

Her problem was that I didn't know about all the new products available!

I can't remember having a period chat with my mum, she's always just discussed it naturally. When dd asks anything I hope I can be as open as mum was with me. I was never embarrassed to ask about periods, puberty, etc.

Mum wasn't the best at talking about periods, she couldn't remember how old she was when she started etc.

I have never hidden my periods from my girls. when they were little the conversation was around how it was okay and I wasn't hurt but my body was telling me I wasn't growing another baby.
We used the usborne what's happening to me book to open further conversation as they grew.
They can see my selection of sanitary wear In The bathroom traditional disposable pad and tampons, moon cups and washable pads

My mum never hid anything but I also remember being scared to ask for tampons/pads.

I never hid anything, but until recently DD (8) didn’t ask any questions. Recently she did, and now she’s basically an expert! We’ve used the What’s Happening to Me book and would recommend.

I’ve become evangelical about the period pants so she’s aware they’re an option.

My parents weren't good at discussing anything to do with bodies - thank goodness a book triggered me to ask what periods were when I was 10. I've always discussed such things with friends - at boarding school periods and money were probably the main topics! Now I think online chat has helped and my friends talk about periods a lot (not money, so much).

Dcs know about periods from me but I try to hide the worst symptoms as I've read that being scared of periods can make symptoms worse, and don't want to scare her that passing out and clots and disabling pain are inevitable - thankfully mine are much more manageable in my 40s.

I use a cup but pants would be an easier option. How do you know when they need changing, though? Presumably eventually they would leak?

DH has literally no boundaries, there is no taboo topics for him, so I have had to educate him in what he can and cannot say, particularly to my parents. Luckily dd is too young to worry about periods, yet, but DH will probably give her a talk before speaking to me, and then I will go and fix it.

I don't really have taboos. With family and friends (and medical professions) I will openly and honestly talk about anything. I feel like it is important to normalise periods and other bodily functions so that our next generations don't end up with the same hang-ups as previous generations. It's all biology, it's natural and it is never something to be ashamed of so why make it awkward? same goes for incontinence and other medical issues.
I'm currently first trimester pregnant with my very first so I'm still learning lots of things and looking forward to the journey. I plan on being as taboo-free with my crotch fruit as possible. I'm already an aunt a few times over and I am generally the one the kids come to for answers to questions other people try to avoid. I've talked about everything with them, wet dreams, death, sex and disability, etc etc. Nothing should be off-limits. Sometimes it is more preferable to be impersonal and fact-based but I do try my best to answer anything.

Nosy children who won't let me go to the toilet alone = conversations about periods, which is a good thing because I come from a family that's rubbish at all these conversations!

How would you talk to your daughter about her period?

When she is 8 or 9 depending of how emotionally ready she is at that time.

Or educate your son on what happens to women during menstruation?

As boys are not as emotionally ready for this information I feel around 11 - it would again depend on circumstances - they may well find our from other sources, If that is the case I will answer any questions as honestly as possible.

Are continence or ‘leak’ issues something you feel like you can’t mention, or are there topics that you’d be too embarrassed to speak about outside of a doctors office?

Leak issues really bothered me on day 2 and 3 of my flow super-max tampon and a pad was often not enough - Modibodi has made me feel more secure - especially at work when I cannot rush to the loo.

Do you find it difficult to talk about money with others, out of fear they’ll feel judged, or that they’ll judge you? Perhaps there’s some people in your life you’d talk about anything with, regardless of how taboo the topic?

I will only discuss money with my OH - it is our private business.

I have daughter and two sons and I am trying to be open with them about everything. I never hide when I have periods. My daughter at the age when periods starts and we talk about it many times and she feels very free to talk about it. I gave her pad and change of underwear in small cosmetic bag to put in her school bag for emergency, but she said if something she can go and speak with any teacher at school and ask for help. I want my sons to know what is happening with women bodys so they can support their wife's in any situation. My husband is my best friend and I can talk to him about everything.

It wasn't an easy conversation. I had no idea how to even bring it up. But as my eldest got closer to puberty just had to swallow my pride & do it.
We are now really open, every girl gets a second period, leaks etc are a part of it.
There's san pro in our bathroom not hidden away & my son knows all about it.
His older sister as told him once a month he has to buy her chocolate!

My 4 year old daughter watches me while I sort out my period. I just tell her that my bum is bleeding and grown up women get it sometimes.

I intend to be as open as possible while still being age appropriate.

With my close friends I am an over sharer. Nothing is out of bounds.

Due to lack of real face time due to busy lives we audio message a lot.
Those messages are 100% not safe for work!

I think it’s important to talk to children about periods and the menopause. I teach in a secondary school and it is shocking how little both female and male pupils are taught at home about periods and the menopause. They don’t feel comfortable asking questions at home but at least ask at school

we're just really factual, open and honest. i talk about my periods / pmt so they know it's normal

My kids have learned about periods from observing stuff around the house and asking questions from a young age. For instance: why is there blood in the toilet? What is this bin for? Often these questions get asked in the most public situations, eg loudly in a public toilet.

Over the last 4 years I've had a medical issue that was embarrassing to talk about (perianal abscess and then subsequent complications).

At first I used to gloss over it and dodge the questions. But then I just got tired of it all.

So now, when people ask what is wrong with me when I'm having a flare up I just tell them!

I’m very open with people. My kids have known about periods and sex from a very early age including the boys.
As they’ve grown finances, pregnancy, abuse, health issues, wet dreams and drugs etc have been openly discussed.
Nothing is taboo and as a result they now come to me about everything as do some of their friends. I would rather my kids come and ask questions rather than rely on dodgy info from their peers.

With friends we talk about all sorts as well.

As parents I believe that we should discuss things with them to educate them. If they don’t get the info from us, including the use of proper names for body parts, then who can they get it from?

My Mum was (and still is!) excruciatingly embarrassed by discussion of any taboo topic, she can't even bring herself to say the word 'tampons' so we had a very vague euphemism for them when I was a teen, and I'd never dream of discussing sex with h

Sorry - 3yo jumped on my phone and posted for me too soon!
I'm trying to be as open as possible with DS, we've had factual age-appropriate chats about periods (as he found my mooncup and wanted to play with it in the bath ). He's also familiar with the correct anatomical terms too, although I admit inwardly cringing when using the word 'vulva'. I've also very briefly discussed the NPSCC pants rule, along with saying he doesn't have to hug or kiss someone if he doesn't want to.
As for other taboo topics, I've joked about incontinence with other mothers (especially the ones I play team sport with) but I don't think I could talk to anyone else about it. I don't find finance taboo as such, I'm fairly open about it if the topic comes up.

Annoyed my order arrived & it's wrong

I have a son and a daughter of primary school age. I've always been open about my periods without going into too much detail - so they know what tampons are for (approximately!) and they know that sometimes I have period pains, and that most women and girls bleed sometimes and it's to do with having a baby.

I haven't gone into more detail than that because it's unnecessary and they are not currently that interested.

My daughter is a year or two off starting puberty so I am gradually introducing her to more information so it's not a shock.

Incontinence has not been an issue for me personally but I would like to think that I would speak to them in the same way about it, so being open and honest without going into unnecessary detail.

When I was growing up no one spoke about periods, just the odd science lesson about growing up and that was it. as a result, I experienced leaks and stains etc as I was too embarrassed to ask anyone for more sanitary products.
I have always decided to be much more open with my dd's as I never want them to fear periods, I have made them the normal thing that they are, dd's friends are much more open nowadays too, so hopefullt the taboo in this area is decreasing now

Be responsive- answer questions don't lecture and if the subject come up offer a safe space for discussion. Sometimes you need to nudge a conversation in the appropriate direction to open it up.