Have you recently used antenatal, postnatal, or early years services in the UK? Tell a Cross Government Group on Early Years Family Support, about your experiences - £300 to be won!

[EmmaMumsnet]

NOW CLOSED

As lots of Mumsnet users will know, having a new baby can be incredibly exciting and rewarding - but it can also be really challenging, and lots of new parents make use of classes and services to try to find information, get support, or just make some fellow new-parent friends.

A UK Government Ministerial Group on Early Years Family Support has been set up to improve these services, and its members want to hear about Mumsnet users’ experiences. They want to hear your feedback about pregnancy, baby and parenting services offered across the UK by the NHS, local government and charities. This includes (but isn’t limited to) help from health visitors, ante- and post-natal classes, breastfeeding support, parenting classes and peer support groups; the sort of thing you’d access if you are expecting a child or have a child under 2. Part of the Group‘s focus is perinatal mental health and how to effectively support wellbeing for babies and new parents.

Andrea Leadsom, Leader of the House of Commons and Chair of the Group, says: “The importance of the first 1,001 days of a child’s life has been a personal passion of mine for a long time. I am so looking forward to working with Mumsnet to hear about your experiences as an expectant or new parent. Your feedback will help us shape future services for other parents and babies.”

So please tell us about what services you are currently using or have recently used, how you came to find them (and how easy this was), whether they were compassionate, effective, fun and/or useful (or not), and how you think support for new families could be improved.

If you’ve got any suggestions for additional services you’d have liked to use that don’t exist or you couldn’t access, please let us know about those too. We’d also love to hear about the importance of location for you when you choose between services.

Everyone who shares their experiences of pregnancy and baby services they have used will be entered into a prize draw to win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks

MNHQ

Terms and conditions apply

what services you are currently using or have recently used,

My pre-pregnancy care was ok, but this was because I had a pretty unremarkable pregnancy, however I do think that if I have been high risk, I would have had to seek out help. The staff seemed compassionate but rushed and stressed. My post natal care was satisfactory, but again if I was struggling or had PND I do not know whether this would be picked up, as I was never asked how I 'felt'

how you came to find them (and how easy this was), whether they were compassionate, effective, fun and/or useful (or not), and how you think support for new families could be improved.

My doctors practice has a good wraparound care with midwifes calling for my anti-natal care, health visitors calling for the first 3 months (once a week) - so pretty good.

If you’ve got any suggestions for additional services you’d have liked to use that don’t exist or you couldn’t access, please let us know about those too. We’d also love to hear about the importance of location for you when you choose between services.

Video calling to midwifes at any time of the day to seek assistance for worries you have with yourself or your baby.

If it was not for my children's centre which is attached to DS1 nursery I would have really struggled, I had a very stressful pregnancy with horrid morning sickness, extreme fatigue, and the movements of DS2 were slow towards the end, plus he was breach until the last week - so I was besides myself. My HV and Midwifes were hard to get in touch with - you had to go to them (3 months apart from visits) -Popping into my Children's Centre gave me the reassurance and support I would not have otherwise have got.

My antenatal care was brilliant, but by hospital experience was dreadful, the MW's were so busy they did not seem to have time to monitor my readings. When they did, then heartbeat was slowing, I was examined and asked to lay on my side for several minutes - thankfully the rate increased to normal - without this quick check, heaven knows what would have happened. My post birth care was fine, though as my baby clinic was only at my doctors surgery, I would put this off, as I had to catch 2 busses. Home visits would have been better.

The support whilst pregnant was hit and miss. My midwife didn't inform me of my gestational diabeties diagnosis for days and then didn't tell me I needed to contact the specialist nurse at the hospital.
I researched it myself (and had a friend who was also pregnant with GD) and bought my own monitor kit and changed my diet until I managed to get to see someone at a growth scan who supported me with it.
My labour was premature and the midwives at the hospital were great but feel I should've been warned about the risks of jaundice in premature babies as when this happened it was my mum who picked it up and recommended we went to hospital despite still being under the community midwife team who didn't pick it up. He needed light treatment at the children's hospital which was upsetting but I didn't realise how common it was.

Pre-natal care - midwife care was fine, good information given, although I'm confused as to why I need less appointments with my second pregnancy? Am I suddenly considered less of a risk/ needing less monitoring because I've done it before?
Also pressure to consider a home birth, presumeably to reduce the costs to the NHS of hospital births.

Hospital care - no problems with admission, 1st baby the experience was less than ideal, the midwives seemed not to be in control of the process & I believe if it had been managed better I would have needed less intervention.
Post natal ward - Leeds General Infirmary, both times the ward experience was shocking. Understaffed which meant that midwives cannot give help to those that need it, overcrowded with barely enough room to turn around in a cubicle let alone change a new baby. New mothers are expected to make their own breakfast whilst recovering from traumatic deliveries & carrying around a catheter bag on a frame (just farsical!) I struggled with breastfeeding but there was not enough staff to ensure that I was happy with this before being discharged. Only persisted due to support from NCT Breasfeeding support helpline.
Post natal care - health visitors are usually well meaning & kind, but seem to have little idea about how to support new mothers. I now believe I suffered from some post natal depression after my first baby which was never picked up. There was limited questioning about my own mental health both times. I genuinely believe that if the HV sees you have a good standard of living, a partner/ family around they "tick you off" their list.
Early Years - little contact with this.

My antenatal care was dreadful - different midwife every time and they kept booking me slots that I said I couldn't make as they clashed with the antenatal classes that they had booked me on to.

Our area used to have post natal groups that ran for 8 weeks after birth. These no longer run because of funding. As I came back to work the breastfeeding cafes were going as they're based in surestart centres, which closed in March.

The HVs were enthusiatic when DD lost weight because of a tongue tie. This had been missed by at least 8 midwives / nursery nurses in hospital / the community following her birth though. It was all completely avoidable had it been diagonsed and treated before she left hospital when I flagged she was struggling to feed.

Plymouth here. Antenatal care was ok, didn't see the same midwife more than once. They were quick to refer to physio though which was good. Post natal care was as expected vastly understaffed and dirty. Did have good breastfeeding support though without which I would not have been able to breastfeed my two DC.

Children's centres here are amazing and so much support. The staff and the health visitors who attend the session are so helpful. There's always a massive queue of people to be seen but they don't rush and are happy to chat through any issues. But there's definitely been a funding cut and groups for toddlers have been slashed. Which is a shame as they really helped my anxious DC.

Postnatal care after the birth of both of my children will haunt me till the day I die.

Being made to sleep in wards is terrible. There were women myself included who were running on 3-4 hours sleep over a 2/3 day period. How on earth can we be expected to cope, recover, bond and possibly breastfeed if the most basic of necessities - sleep - isn't happening.

Midwives are stretched so I noticed more and more health care assistants. They too are busy so I was asked repeatedly if I wanted to give my baby a top up of formula despite making it clear I wanted to bf. Clearly getting a bottle of formula for a mum and spending 5 mins showing how to feed the baby is preferable to sitting with a new Mum for possibly 30 mins to an hour and showing her how to position baby for bf, latch, hunger cues, nipple care etc. No wonder the rate of bf in this country is piss poor.

I found post and ante natal care sufficient in most areas.

However I think there is much room for improvement in terms of breastfeeding support. Midwife visits are too rushed and I really needed someone who had time to sit with me for up to an hour who was able to get hands on with positioning. The helplines etc were pointless for me- it was practical hands- on help that I desperately needed and may have been able to continue breastfeeding if I’d been able to access that support.

Also I think it’s such a shame that children’s centres are receiving diminishing funding and so offering reduced services. With my DC1 there was so much on offer at the children’s centres, loads of groups, even during school holidays there were special themed sessions put on. Fast forward a few years to now, there are hardly any sessions run at my local centre- what a sad waste of a potentially great resource.

I think experiences depend so much in your location. I had my first dc in SE England services were all within reach and appeared to be funded, health visitors were from planet zog failed to recognise my PND and gave very poor BF advice. I had my second child in East of England, services thinner on ground but fantastic midwifery maternity and health visitor care. BF advice from HV was spot on and they were very supportive as a team.
In the 4 years between my children the cuts to sure start centres activities etc were very apparent. Andrea “I’m a mother” Leadsom you should be ashamed of your government and its legacy of destroying the NHS

I was referred to the peri natal mental health team by my gp. I was assessed with ptsd due to childhood abuse and traumas in my then current relationship. At the time I felt so scared and hugely overwhelmed by everything. I'd just had my 5th baby.
I'd never struggled before so was so worried and distressed.
I was given up to 20 sessions with a phychologist in the perinatal mental health team.
I'll admit, I felt nothing could take away how I was feeling, however my sessions were incredible.
My therapist worked gently but so productively with me. Within a couple of sessions the weight was being lifted and I began to find myself.
It was a life line to me and even writing this now isn't enough thanks for what they did for me. I also had a contact I could call for extra support should I need it.
I felt so cared for and valued.
I so hope if anyone is struggling and reads this, finds the courage to get help. It was all funded by the NHS and I will always be grateful.

I have a 6 month old and live in London. Instead of being sent to one of the nearest clinics for antenatal services I was sent to one of the furthest away from me in the borough. The midwife there was rude. When I checked why I was sent to this clinic I was given no explanation but was easily found a antenatal clinic nearer. In fact I ended up at one at my doctor's surgery 10 minutes walk away.

I'm a carrier of a blood disorder and was given proof of this years ago. Instead of listening to me I was retested. I then received a panicky phone at work from a doctor because I was a carrier. This was before I told people I was pregnant. My partner then went to get tested. He wasn't a carrier and we knew this because his blood had been tested before. We both then looked into research about blood disorders and appears the NHS prefers not to listen to people who know and have it on their medical records they are carriers but instead blame them if they have a child with the disease or seek a termination.

I ended up being consultant led so my birth experience was fine and uneventful. I was more pissed off I hadn't discharged myself due to the noise of the post-natal ward I was put on due to being consultant led. I was also not given any help about breast feeding, and had a broken bed and chair which made it hard to do.

There are free NCT and NHS antenatal courses in my area but only suitable if you are not a shift worker, which my partner is. We ended up paying for an NCT course that fitted around his work.

Postnatally the only thing that annoyed me was comments on breast feeding and bottle feeding from the midwives before I was discharged from their care at home. This was after midwives were told not to make comments.

My pregnancy care was very very good.
I had a fantastic comm midwife (who has retired so I won't get her again 😭) and was consultant led due to my epilepsy.
I wrote a birth plan and it outlined very clearly about my situation and my SEN.
I didn't feel listened to during my birth, the HCPS that I met spoke in quite accusatory tones regarding my waters breaking. And the reply from one HCA when I asked for a glass of water after having been labouring for 24hrs was "can you walk? It's down the corridor!" As a band 7 RN, my jaw was nearly on the floor.
I wanted to be active but was unable to be due to their constant obsession with monitoring.
Unfortunately my midwife with newly qualified and pressed the emergency button an awful lots of times, my son was born as heathy as can be.
I wanted to feed straight away but was told my the midwife that she didn't know how to use nipple shields, to wait until I got to the ward.
And of course, lack of feeding support. I have inverted nipples, I always knew it was going to be difficult. Midwife, HV, family, friends, they all have different advice and it's all so varying, the support isn't there as it should be. I felt very isolated. As it was, I ended up expressing for 10m, but even now (15m on) I feel guilty for not BF.
I think next time I will decline induction and opt for a MWLU.

Prenatal care was terrible, gp surgery didn’t know what I needed to do to get a midwife or know anything about the my pregnancy matters website.

When I did find out i didn’t see the same midwife twice throughout my whole pregnancy. I paid and had independent care in the end so I was actually prepared for birth.

Labour was fine as it was mainly midwife, only times it became awkward was when the doctor checked me, shouted at me for having the lights down and after throwing his weight around. He had no empathy for me having just had a baby after 39 hrs of labour.

Post natal ward we were left to it, had to stay over night purely because no doctors to do checks. Very frustrating.

Post natal home care has been brilliant though, helpful midwives and consistent HV care. I have suffered PNA and my HV has been a great listener and really helpful. I actually look forward to her visits.

Our son was born in October. The neonatal care was awful, I had to go to a number of different locations and saw lots of different midwives. The rooms they used in the children's centres were not fit for purpose and they seems to have a too many women to see as they were always late and had little time to spend with you. My son was breech position but this was not picked up on until I went to the birth centre.

We had excellent care once they discovered our baby was breeched and I had an emergency c-section.

We paid for a private room on the labour ward which make our hospital stay a lot more bearable. The midwives were incredibly overworked which meant I didn't have much support. I asked about how my son was breastfeeding and only had support from one midwife.

When I was discharged many different midwives visited me and it didn't feel like they had much time to spend. As they changed it meant that there was a lack of continuity of care.

I had feeding problems with my son but was given no help because he we gaining weight. So I saw a lactation consultant privately when he was 12 weeks old (after being dismissed by a number of healthcare professionals) who diagnosed posterior tongue tie. There was a long wait to have it done on the NHS and the CQC had recently changed its guidance which meant that we paid £720 to have a dentist so the division rather than a private midwife in our home. We then hired a private midwife to check the tie and support with feeding. Had we not been in a position to spend all this money I would have been unable to carry on breastfeeding. We are still working on re-learning to breastfeed now. It saddens me to think that there are people who cannot carry on their breastfeeding journey because they lack the financial means.

The health visits I saw were perfectly nice but as I saw a number of different ones it was difficult to build a relationship and like everyone we saw they were overworked.

All in all my experience of my pre and post natal care has totally shaken my faith in the NHS. Should we decide to have another child we will be going private.

Our doctors surgery has also been awful regarding my sons healthcare.

I had a baby last year. During pregnancy I felt quite supported with the midwives and they were always a phone call away and I knew they were there if I needed them. My area has never had any prenatal classes which would have been nice / useful.

After I'd had the baby , midwives came around 3 times or so during ten days and then I was left on my own. Each time, a different midwife so they didn't really know me I had a bf person come in on day 2 to say hi and to let me know how to access the service for help. A week later I called her and asked if she could pop in as I desperately needed help as I was in pain. She said to come to the drop in a few days away which I just couldn't get to. I begged her and she popped in quickly for 5 minutes which was all I needed. I was so grateful that she did that. I would love for a bf person to be able to come to the house in those earlier months . I really couldn't get to a drop in session. Any problems I had with bf I sorted myself out using Google and MN for help. I just didn't find the support there for me in those earlier months. I needed help and had issues till around 2 months. I persevered on my own and felt so lost at times.

When baby was about 5m old I started to really feel very isolated. I didn't want to go to the gp. I didn't want anti depressants. I couldn't take her out to a playgroup till she was 10m. It was nice to just meet other mums and get out for baby but it has been really hard on my own and it would have been nice if I could have done something when she was younger. I felt the whole first year of babies life I've felt very isolated and would have liked some support at home.

I live in Northern Ireland and overall I found my care to be very good.

I was switched from midwife-led to consultant-led antenatal care due to some concerns regarding the baby’s growth (which proved unfounded, thankfully) and at each and every appointment I found the midwifery and medical staff to be helpful and informative.

The delivery ward was extremely busy when I went to be induced, and it is clear to see the pressures that staff are under due to lack of resources, but again I found the staff to be very caring and attentive despite the challenges to service delivery. I had a significant post-partum bleed, and the fast action and professionalism of staff was undoubtedly life-saving. I struggled with breast-feeding and felt I had good practical and emotional support from the midwives on the post-natal ward.

At discharge after four days I felt quite emotional and grateful to the staff who had cared for me so well.

I also required some post-natal treatment as an outpatient due to complications arising from an episiotomy, and again the staff were excellent to deal with - especially as I had delivered in a different health care trust area, however continuity of care did not pose a problem despite the absence of my medical notes.

My health visitor has also been excellent, and makes herself available by mobile phone to deal with queries at any time.

Great thread. Disappointing to see so many instances of substandard care.

I went private for birth so don’t have any observations about antenatal or hospital care that are helpful to the nhs. But in terms of post natal my observations would be

• community Midwives are a mixed bag. Had a great one for my first child (born end of 2016) but this time round (have a 9wk old) she was lovely but completely ineffectual. As in, came to my house with a thermometer that didn’t work, no stereo strips (needed for my c section scar), did the heel prick test on the wrong day so it had to be repeated, no idea about anything really. And then didn’t record any notes of our sessions which caused problems later on. Midwives really do seem to run the gauntlet from “basically doctors” through to “kindly but completely useless women” - it would be nice if there was some kind of basic minimum standard.

• think this is a london thing but I live on the border of two boroughs and the postcode lottery has been so frustrating. My nearest health visitor centre is a couple of miles away - impossible in the early days to get to by public transport with a pram, toddler, baby and a healing c section scar. They refused a home visit and I refused to travel so I have effectively dropped out of nhs HV care for the time being. Meanwhile there are multiple health centres 200-300m away from my house that for some reason I cannot access as it is a different local council. I don’t understand this at all.

• tongue tie. Nhs provision is an absolute disgrace. My baby has a tongue tie but is putting on weight. I wanted it cut anyway as had the same with my first who was good for first 13w and then started to fall down centile - I had to get him snipped privately and issue fixed. So wanted to have second child cut early to avoid the same thing happening. Was advised not to even bother trying with nhs as appointment times were 6-8 weeks. Wtaf?! This is a time sensitive issue. How can the nhs say they support breastfeeding and not offer rapid tongue tie release? To make matters worse I then tried to get it done privately and struggled to find anyone at all as apparently the cqc have decided to regulate TTR (fine) but have not published any criteria for regulation. So have stopped lactation consultants from doing it in the interim whilst they figure out the criteria. Again, WTAF?! So I have ended up going to a paediatric surgeon to get it released - talk about using a sledgehammer to crack a nut. Absolutely hopeless — and would be unbelievably stressful if I didn’t have the money (and insurance) to access this

• postnatal physio. Again, I paid privately to see a specialised women’s health physio for a 6 week check of my abs and pelvic floor. Best money I ever spent - but I had the money to spend on it in the first place. I don’t understand why rehab pelvic floor physio isn’t standard for new mothers. It’s disgraceful how little attention is paid to mothers well being after birth.

Oh! And there should be a ban on snarky comments about bottle feeding at weigh ins. Both my children were/are EBF but I don’t take kindly to being told I am a “good mummy” and conspiratorial disparaging comments being made about formula when HVs found out I wasn’t using it. It’s unnecessary and inaccurate.

I've been in various departments throughout this pregnancy and cannot commend each and every department I've been in.

Post natal care has been fantastic.

I've not accessed any services via HV/GP/local group so can't comment on that.

A mixed bag here...
Free antenatal classes were really really rubbish unfortunately. Apparently they had just stopped the midwife led ones and ran them with children’s centre staff instead but they just didn’t contain the necessary information!
The Health visitors I met with both DC (Dc1 is currently 2.9 DC2 is 9m) have all had the best of intentions and have been kind etc. Went to lots of weighing clinics with DC1 as slow to gain and found the conflicting advice frustrating- mix feed, don’t mix feed, pump, just feed on demand lots. All very stressful. DC2 I have avoided that but found the self weigh stations plonked around the community quite useful- there’s one in our library which is fab as I don’t have to make a special trip for weighing 👍🏻
Support in terms of free groups from children’s centre has been second to none. No NCT here as too rural so the only mum friends I have are those I made at the free baby group held at the children’s centre. Lovely staff, great activities was awful to see how hard things are on them to keep things running with constant cuts.
Only criticism was they never ran in the school holidays. I had my DC1 in May and just as I felt ready to start groups etc when they were a few months old everything shut down for 8 weeks!
Breastfeeding support from midwives was great and swift referral to tongue tie clinic. Only breastfeeding cafe was 30 mins drive away which I did on day 5. Lovely ladies, charity run but just too far to really be useful.

Care at my local hospital was fairly awful. My 12 week scan was due around Xmas and they refused to carry it out until a few weeks later. I apparently hadn’t registered in time.....but the same hospital confirmed the pregnancy at 4 weeks in EPU due to previous losses. Clearly the two departments couldn’t communicate with one another. This meant that they then couldn’t do the nucal fold test and it was written on my notes that I refused testing, which was a complete fabrication.

Having been told from 20 weeks that I would have to have a c-section the consultant changed their mind at 34 weeks and I was told I didn’t have grounds for one. I was induced at 38 weeks due to complications and when I asked for an epidural I was told I wasn’t in labour and midwife refused to examine me. I insisted and they finally agreed to an examination only to find my baby was coming and it was far too late for the epidural. Hospitals really need to start listening to their patients.

Good parts. Our local Sure Start centre has survived the cuts and is pretty good. The volunteer breast feeding supporters are excellent. Certainly more funding for Sure Start is needed.

Our GP is pretty good for young children. Usually they will will see children that day. They must get paid a lot for vaccine uptake because you are booked in for each set soon after birth. They don’t prioritise the mother’s health, everything is written off as “part of being a parent”. Health visitor services are ok but they’ve cut the baby weighing clinics - you are expected to do this yourself at a toddler group which they have lent a set of scales!

We are lucky that we have a lot of toddler groups locally run by lovely volunteers, without these new mums would be isolated.

Work wise, I was written off as soon as I requested flexible working. This was from a FSTE 100 company so not a small business. I was told I couldn’t apply for a promotion as I was part time. I left.

Early years are so important and yet it is left to volunteers to support new parents whilst businesses and health services do the minimum. This can’t be right.

Hv services are so, so stretched. Caseloads are dangerously high, teams are short staffed and under a lot of pressure.

Managers above band 7's are not HV's, or even medically trained, often from the LA or whoever bidded the highest to take over the service.

It's a bloody nightmare and I don't see how it can continue, something will end up getting missed, something terrible will happen, and then guess who's fault it will be? Despite hv teams raising their concerns in writing/verbally - it will still come back to the practitioners as if it is all their fault.

It's enough to make you want to go back to the wards!

The antenatal support I received from my midwife was fantastic and made such a positive impact on my mental health. She made a point of spending time with me and speaking about my previous pregnancy which started with ivf and ended with a neonatal death. She seemed to understand just how terrified I was of something going wrong and the mixed feelings I was having at "replacing" my baby who died if the baby I was expecting was another boy. Most importantly, she remembered his name and wasn't afraid to mention him and just understood how I was feeling.

Postnatal, I can't fault the care I received after my emergency c-section which saved my baby's life. After moving on to the ward, I felt like the midwives didn't have the time to support me with breastfeeding and I was mostly left to my own devices but the breastfeeding support team who were visiting all the breastfeeding mums on the ward were amazing and very helpful. Similarly, after leaving hospital they kept in touch on a daily basis while I was struggling with a tongue tie and painful latch and I'm proud to say that I'm still breastfeeding 10 months later.

My health visitor has also been brilliant, very chatty and puts me at ease. I know that she's there if and when I ever need her.

In my previous pregnancy, which was a twin pregnancy my midwife passed me over to the twins clinic after my booking appointment who weren't engaged with my care at all and it's only having gone through another pregnancy that I can see how many tests and appointments I never received because I didn't seem to be under the care of anyone until I received devastating news about one of my twins at my 23 week scan.

Overall, based on both experiences my findings are that continuity of care with the same midwife or team is vitally important for building a relationship and having the right support, particularly with mental health.

Prenatal care -
My pregnancy was low risk but managed in a very risk averse way, I ended up having extra scans and seeing a consultant. It was very reassuring.

Birth and postnatal -
Ok, overall. Kind midwives, a few minor complications. I had a room at a MLW, my partner had a weird chair to sleep on but they wouldn't give him a pillow which I thought was a bit harsh.

GP check -
Not enough information on birth injuries. We should be moving to the French system where each woman receives proper pelvic floor physio.

Health visitors -
I have one amazing health visitor that is so kind I opened up to her and she really made herself available in case I needed any extra support.

Breastfeeding support -
In my area someone calls you, there are groups on in the borough each day. This support is excellent.

Sure Start Centres -
In my area we haven't ditched these. They are brilliant for everyone and in my view money well spent. I use the facilities all the time and my kids benefit hugely.