How to help teens become more confident - share with #iwill - chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

The team at #iwill would love to know how you help teens become (more) confident

What is #iwill?
The #iwill campaign promotes creating more opportunities for young people to get involved in social action - enabling more 10-20 year olds to say #iwill to doing activities such as campaigning, fundraising and volunteering in their communities to make them a better place.

By doing so, young people create a double-benefit – improving the lives of others around them, as well as improving themselves. By getting involved in social action, young people can develop their employability skills, boost access to further and higher education and enhance their well-being, communication skills and character.

So far more than 700 business, education and voluntary sector partners across the UK have pledged #iwill to embedding social action into the lives of young people so that all young people are able to experience the benefits of taking part.

They’d love to know your top tips on encouraging teens to develop their confidence in school, outside of school, during work experience or with adults. Do you encourage them to volunteer with local clubs etc, to mix with other young people from different backgrounds, have they flourished with some support from a mentor at school or do they need help to get through exams and school tests? If you had some confidence boosting experiences when you were a teen, please share what helped you become a confident teen too.

If you’d like to know more, do visit the #iwill pages here where you can sign up to get your FREE #iwill guide and monthly newsletters to find out more about the benefits of supporting your children to take part in volunteering & social action.

Check out their video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= NR8YjpKseK4

Please share your top tips on teen confidence below - everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store(s) of choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

[pinkjjf27]

When i was a teen i was put down Always discouraged Always told what a loser I was. I was compared to my wonderfully sister with words like "Oh why cant you be like your sister" ( teachers did this too) I suffer social anxiety. I decided to ,make sure i did things differently I make sure i never dismiss my kids or tell them they and able to do things. I Take an interest in what they do but allow them some space. I encourage praise them and make sure they know I love and respect them for who they are.

[feefeegabor]

I always encourage my daughter to be herself - my husband and I are both "oddballs" and I think she is learning that it's good to be different. I also encourage her not to rely on social media but to get out and meet her friends instead.

[bubbleybooboo]

I encourage my two teenagers to talk openly about whats on their mind. My daughter joined a drama group and said she would do behind the scenes things but being in a group environment, week after week has really brought her out of her shell and is taking part in the performances with lead parts!

My son on the other hand isn't so confident but he will openly talk if he needs to. He has a few adults he feels comfortable with and trusts completely with whatever he needs.

[arat]

DS has always been a bit of the quiet side so we actively encourage him to interact with adults when we are out & about (eg ordering food/drinks). We are also trying to talk him into doing drama at GCSE as this is a new option available at his school. I think he will give it a go, so will wait and see how it goes, giving lots of support and encouragement along the way.him

[ggjacks]

my son is almost 12 and struggles with confidence as he has mild special needs and feels a bit different (he had meningitis and has a brain injury) we have worked really hard on his confidence, I talk to him about his feelings and make sure to spend proper time listening to him without distractions so he feels listened to. Then we have worked on helping him realise that just because he is a bit different he is no different to others his own age as they are all different in some ways. it's a work in progress!

[freefan]

I have found that through the years being open and honest with all my children from young age has certainly helped when my eldest DS reached the teenage years. And he knew he could come and talk about any fears or concerns without being judged which I think is really important.
He also volunteered from a young age and mixes with people from all faiths and backgrounds which also helps him be confident in his own skin which again has helped.
Hopefully his younger siblings will follow in his footsteps

[Nicole1709]

I was a very shy teen when I was younger. My mum enrolled me into drama classes and it had an amazing impact. I am now very confident and actually enjoy public speaking and performing to a crowd.

[footdust]

To allow them to be their own person with their own interests. It’s good for teenagers self esteem to mix with a wide range of people from different backgrounds and ages.

[helly27]

I found that making sure my children understand that everyone is different and that is the way it is supposed to be gives them the confidence to be true to who they are and not what they think they should be like

[mave]

Listen, show respect and have lots of understanding and empathy

[emmav6]

i try to teach skills that will help their independence, make their own decisions and discuss relevant news matters

[emmav6]

i try to teach skills that will help their independence, make their own decisions and discuss relevant news matters

[Mossiebonbon]

we have an ambassador scheme where we work with young people (11-18) and they volunteer to help in local primary schools, assisting or leading sports activities , engages with the disengaged too - helping others is key to giving yourself confidence and respect and pride in what they do

[Mossiebonbon]

we have an ambassador scheme where we work with young people (11-18) and they volunteer to help in local primary schools, assisting or leading sports activities , engages with the disengaged too - helping others is key to giving yourself confidence and respect and pride in what they do

[Sid98]

Talking to them

[sweir1]

I always try to make it clear that there is a bigger picture and that life changes so much after you leave school

[emmav6]

i try to teach skills that will help their independence, make their own decisions and discuss relevant news matters

[pfcpompeysarah]

I think making teens aware of the way things change over time is important, what seems devestating to teens will soon pass with time and it's important to recognise that the future is what you make it. It is also important to treat them with respect, recognise their boundaries for both them and yourself, give them positive influences and communication and encourage them to be the best they can be and to always know that you are there for them if something is worrying them. I also think its SO important to educate them about the ways in which social media can harm relationships and peoples self-image and to encourage teens to think about how they use SM and how their comments/interactions could be interpreted.

[swanlady2000]

I am a foster carer to all ages including teens and the biggest way to make children more confident is to increase their self esteem. Compliment them all the time about everything and everything. If they tell you some one has been unkind them, think of ways to turn it round into a positive. Be confident yourself as well, so lead by example. Let go of the reigns a little, encourage them to pop to town on their own etc but be prepared to “reel” them in if needs be.

[cluckyhen]

We have always been open and honest in our house. They make their own decisions, we let them know if we think they are good or bad and point out other ways and methods and let them decide - they learn from their mistakes but know that we are there for them

[AugustRose]

As a mum with two DC's who have social anxiety issues I have to be aware of how I react or encourage - as in not try to dismiss any fears and talk through them. We have always eaten our evening meal together which helps to create an environment to talk.

DD1 (15) volunteers at a local stable which helps build her confidence and also meet new people as well as gaining experience. This is something she would not have considered a year ago and we are very proud of her for that.

DS1 (21) was never great with money but we encouraged him to be in control from about 14/15, he is at uni now and budgets very well which also helped him plan for two holidays last year, the first time he had been abroad without us there to do everything for him.

Neither of the older two were interested in scouts/guides but the younger two, DD2 (10) and DS2 (6) both go which is great for confidence and mixing with others.

I have also volunteer/have volunteered whichs helps my DC know how important it is. When children don't have natural confidence, every day life can be very tough. Letting them know that they can talk to you about anything, and making even a small amount of time to listen is important. For DS1 it was usually in the car when it was just us two.

[jansus5]

I try and remember how shy i was and how painful it can be!
Listen to them and let them voice their opinions, i tell my children to respect people and they in turn will earn respect, This i feel gives them confidence.

[SSCRASE123]

Show empathy but encourage them to think for themselves and explain why. Being over protective is natural but longer term will cause problems.

[shydaylily]

Feel tall, stretch up and feel tall.

[Dormouse1940]

Listen to your teens.
You may not agree with them, you may not like some of the decisions they make, but by listening you are showing them respect and hopefully you become a 'safe space' for them. It also helps to encourage mutual respect and responsibility.
And encourage, gently if needs be. Advise but try not to force your own views too hard.
Be open, discuss honestly any issues.

And, perhaps most importantly, always let them know that they are loved.