How to help teens become more confident - share with #iwill - chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

The team at #iwill would love to know how you help teens become (more) confident

What is #iwill?
The #iwill campaign promotes creating more opportunities for young people to get involved in social action - enabling more 10-20 year olds to say #iwill to doing activities such as campaigning, fundraising and volunteering in their communities to make them a better place.

By doing so, young people create a double-benefit – improving the lives of others around them, as well as improving themselves. By getting involved in social action, young people can develop their employability skills, boost access to further and higher education and enhance their well-being, communication skills and character.

So far more than 700 business, education and voluntary sector partners across the UK have pledged #iwill to embedding social action into the lives of young people so that all young people are able to experience the benefits of taking part.

They’d love to know your top tips on encouraging teens to develop their confidence in school, outside of school, during work experience or with adults. Do you encourage them to volunteer with local clubs etc, to mix with other young people from different backgrounds, have they flourished with some support from a mentor at school or do they need help to get through exams and school tests? If you had some confidence boosting experiences when you were a teen, please share what helped you become a confident teen too.

If you’d like to know more, do visit the #iwill pages here where you can sign up to get your FREE #iwill guide and monthly newsletters to find out more about the benefits of supporting your children to take part in volunteering & social action.

Check out their video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= NR8YjpKseK4

Please share your top tips on teen confidence below - everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store(s) of choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

[littlebillie]

My dc help out with local sports club training under 7s. He is kind and committed and excellent future adult citizen

[Leeds2]

Volunteering was hugely beneficial to my DD's confidence, by forcing her to interact with adults who she didn't know and who were outside of her own "bubble."
I also believe getting them involved in drama, and stage productions, does wonders for their confidence although probably best started at an earlier age.

[del2929]

encouraging them to partake in social activities and events gives them a boost

[Stickladilove]

Improving my own self confidence so I don't pass any bad habits to her

[Quietvoiceplease]

To build their confidence I try and listen to what they have to say, to seek their opinions on things. We try and encourage their interests, emphasise the effort not the outcome, and focus on the gifts they each have - not really the tangible things like grades or awards, but the intangible things - speaking out, looking after people, making others laugh, including people.

I also try to show by example the importance of volunteering and the benefits this bring to your own sense of wellbeing, but also being thankful and being kind. We look after ourselves when we help look after others too.

It is a work in progress because I have three children and I see how the differ in terms of their own resilience, confidence and sense of contentment.

[Wolfcub]

Not commenting on the op but just wanted to say my 11 year old participates in an iwill community project and it’s absolutely brilliant for providing confidence and project management skills.

[thenewaveragebear1983]

I was never a confident teen so with my dd I try to make sure she has opportunities to be confident. I never force her to speak if we're in a group (family for example) and I let her hear me praise her behaviour/school work/ attitude etc. I will put things like new toiletries to try into her room just as a 'treat' so she doesn't need to ask, as one thing I always was shy about was asking my parents for toiletries.

[UpOnDown]

Breaking it down into small steps together helps mine, they feel they've achieved.

[MrsFrTedCrilly]

Another vote for martial arts,it’s helped increase my DC confidence and faith in his ability so much.

[ncullinane]

I think setting an example of confidence is key, children/teenagers thrive on what's surrounding them and if we as adults can show that confidence is key then this will help them be confident teens. I think you have to speak to teens on an adult level not to patronise, because let's face it all 13year olds know best right?!

[bettythebuilder]

My 15 year old dd is volunteering at a local charity shop. It's a win-win as she's helping out with a charity but it's also teaching her skills that will help in the world after school... time keeping, responsibility, it's an introduction to the world of work and is helping with her self confidence.

[mamato3lads]

I have three sons and it's not always been easy to get them to share and open up about any issues affecting their confidence. I have gradually learnt to just listen. They know I'm always here...they come to me eventually, in their own way and we work things out. As a result they are much more confident. Feeling heard is absolutely key.

[AEK84]

#I will always reiterate to my two sons how unimportant social media is and having a 'huge' group of friends/followers. It's widely portrayed that all teens should be 'popular' but I personally feel that it's best to have a few friends of 'quality' than loads of friends that don't know you on the same level. Too much focus with Kids nowadays on being 'liked'. Not everyone will like you and the world would be a very boring place if we all got along, all of the time.

[danigrace]

I think Duke of Edinburgh award is fantastic for encouraging volunteering and inspiring young people to try new things and gain confidence.
I am also always amazed at answers young teens and tweens give when asked about what it's like to be a young person now and ways in which it could be improved - it builds their confidence for them to make suggestions.

[Hmumto3]

I made alot of wrong decisions and have lots of regrets when I was a teenager mainly because there was no one to support or guide me. You need to respect listen to and communicate well with each other

[lovemyflipflops]

I have tried to make my DC become more confident gradually, buying their own bus ticket when we go anywhere, go into a shop to buy something (including the self serve till at supermarkets), and to use the phone on occasion. I feel we do far too much for our children, making them less equipt to be independent. My DC has a group of friends and they all do after school clubs together, part of which involves going to other schools for inter-school competitions. I think this is a good way of being more confident. It's a gradual process, but an essential one.

[smashbake]

Cubs or guides. Something to get them outside and active wth others.

[sjonlegs]

I try to treat the teens I know with respect and understanding. We've all been there and I'm not sure there's a tougher time tbh .... all those raging hormones and being on the brink of adulthood is enough to knock anyone's confidence. Everyone matures at different rates. I think teens need to be given the benefit of the doubt with regards their conduct and maturity. I think communication is key. I try to be very honest and open with my children and I think this alone bodes well for helping their confidence, raising their self-esteem and seeing them through their teens relatively unscathed!!

[Kahlua4me]

What all children need is time with you. Time to listen to them, encourage them, teach them, guide them, play games, laugh. We spend lots of time with our dc doing what they want, but most of all listening to what is going on in their lives and helping them as needed.

DS is now 14 and is a young leader at scouts. He has been through the scouting system himself to becoming an explorer and decided to also do the young leader programme. Scouting has been excellent for his confidence as well as giving him opportunities and activities away from computer screens. All their team work is great for confidence too...

[motherstongue]

mutual respect goes a long way.

Being involved in volunteering, given a level of responsibility which is then managed effectively has been great for boosting their confidence.

Taking part in a public speaking club has been brilliant as it has encouraged not only the public speaking but given them skills they can use effectively in many walks of life.

[NewMama12]

By instilling into them that it’s good to be themselves - have confidence in their own opinions and likes and to be comfortable in their own skin. I think a lot of it is upbringing - making sure at home they’re constantly told that they’re good enough, strong enough, smart enough and beautiful how they are. I have a baby daughter and worry for her growing up with social media etc that wasn’t around when I was growing up. I’m determined to instil the confidence of a queen into my little girl!

[vickyors]

I teach teens, and I always encourage them to see beyond the superficial... the students at my college do citizenship as well as their studies. We do voluntary litter picking of the site, and I encourage them to be who they want to be, but also socially responsible. In citizenship lessons, I once asked how many know the 'precariat' in our community; the cleaners, the bin men, the carers of their grandparents. And I remind them that we will all struggle someday, so be kind..!

[HRoosevelt]

I don't know, feel like I'm failing to do it with mine, so will be following this closely

[Anj123]

My daughter is not very confident and I know I wasn’t at her age so I try to encourage whenever I can without being too pushy. Currently she enjoys going to Guides and playing musical instruments so I encourage this, and keep praising her when she does well. If something doesn’t go so well, I suggest ways to improve.

[musicalprof]

I've always tried to show that I value their opinions & we talk honestly & openly about news & current affairs. We have always involved both dd & ds in family decisions, as far as we can, such as meal choices together, choices about how to spend our weekends, where to holiday, etc. They have always enjoyed being part of the decision making process, but I am still aware that in the school setting, they both lack confidence...