How to help teens become more confident - share with #iwill - chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[EllieMumsnet]

The team at #iwill would love to know how you help teens become (more) confident

What is #iwill?
The #iwill campaign promotes creating more opportunities for young people to get involved in social action - enabling more 10-20 year olds to say #iwill to doing activities such as campaigning, fundraising and volunteering in their communities to make them a better place.

By doing so, young people create a double-benefit – improving the lives of others around them, as well as improving themselves. By getting involved in social action, young people can develop their employability skills, boost access to further and higher education and enhance their well-being, communication skills and character.

So far more than 700 business, education and voluntary sector partners across the UK have pledged #iwill to embedding social action into the lives of young people so that all young people are able to experience the benefits of taking part.

They’d love to know your top tips on encouraging teens to develop their confidence in school, outside of school, during work experience or with adults. Do you encourage them to volunteer with local clubs etc, to mix with other young people from different backgrounds, have they flourished with some support from a mentor at school or do they need help to get through exams and school tests? If you had some confidence boosting experiences when you were a teen, please share what helped you become a confident teen too.

If you’d like to know more, do visit the #iwill pages here where you can sign up to get your FREE #iwill guide and monthly newsletters to find out more about the benefits of supporting your children to take part in volunteering & social action.

Check out their video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v= NR8YjpKseK4

Please share your top tips on teen confidence below - everyone who does will be entered into a prize draw where one person will win a £300 voucher for the store(s) of choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs Apply

[juju3]

Try to give examples from your own life or from people they know

[vonniebab2]

Always have time, listen to any concerns give praise and be there encouraging new adventures giving confidence

[wjanice121]

I find that talking to people makes them more confident and therefore if we were out shopping for things for him, i'd give him the money and make him go to the counter and pay or if were in a cafe/pub/restaurant making him order from the menu himself i.e making him tell the waiter/waitress what he wants.

[krnries]

I try and push my 2 to get involved with school and community activities and challenge them out of their comfort zones. I'm very aware that in a few short years they will be adults making their own way in this world.

[Yaracuy]

I think I had more fears about them than they themselves did. Now I think about the little ones how lucky they might be.

[wannabestressfree]

I have learnt from teaching teens that the one size fits all approach doesn't work. So to reiterate what others have said..
Listen and make time. Really listen rather than multitask.
Let home be a haven.
Don't over pack their schedules. My youngest doesn't like wall to wall activities as he finds School tiring (he is asd)
I am a firm believer in nothing is insurmountable if you put heads together.
Always tell the truth... hiding things make them worse.
Having five minutes break when things are 'tetchy' is better than persevering and tempers being lost,

[happysouls]

Talking to them as adults and listening, encouraging a wide variety of activity and involvement in things and allowing them to make decisions even if it sometimes means getting it wrong. They need to stretch themselves!

[AR2012]

Respect , being open and listening to them goes a long way imho.

[wannabestressfree]

I realised I have missed the point somewhat with the confidence thing....
I encourage them to tackle things but ask advice- ds3 is not particularly confident and neither is ds1 but they will ask advice on how to do things.
I think Work/ volunteering within School in an area that they are good at helps with confidence. Ds2 goes to the primary as part of his sixth form and helps with sports classes. They are also encouraged to be mini readers and mentors.

I need to go back to bed I think!

[AngelwingsPetlamb]

I think helping your teen with a good skin care routine and personal hygiene will help their confidence no end. Spots and BO don’t do anymore any favours and certainly don’t help with confidence, so take your teen shopping and make sure they know how to use the products they choose.

[hiddenmichelle]

Boost their confidence, make sure thay know that you love them no matter what and that it is OK to be invididual.

[janeyf1]

A good question as it is something I will have to think about in a couple of years time and her experiences remind me of how growing up was for me amongst a few catty school friends/foes. My dc is quite sensitive and is already concerned about her appearance. I am supportive and tell her how proud I am of her and that others only say mean things because they are bored or jealous

[1836Aa]

I always tried to appear confident myself to my children and it seemed to have worked as my daughters are 3 confident young women.

[Ganne1]

Treat them as the adults they are, support them with their studies, and make sure they have enough choice of experience to help them in later life

[maryandbuzz1]

We have always given our son plenty of opportunities to try new things whether it be activities, clubs or hobbies so he gets to know what he enjoys and is good at.....but also encouragement that if things don’t go well the first time not to give up but keep trying. Being a good role model so he sees us having to try at something before we succeed or maybe even how to deal with failing! With this comes plenty of reassurance and encouragement. Alongside this we give age appropriate independence and trust. Most important is not forgetting to praise when it’s due.
Opportunities to meet new people and practice social skills are also valuable

[007hel]

I encouraged my teens to get a little job (something I never did and had no confidence) my dd did a couple of shifts a week at a local restaurant and my ds does a Saturday market job, it boosted their confidence and it has been lovely to watch them have the confidence to mingle at social events we have been to ... so proud

[brokebuthappy123]

When my daughter was starting high school, she really lacked confidence. I accidentally found a great video that really helped us talk about how to become confident and what it means. We discussed how to be yourself and not try to impress people. We also talked about how to be really nice and still be confident without people taking advantage of you.
In high school, most kids are trying not to make mistakes because they think people will make fun of them and not like them. The irony is that when they mess up or they’re just totally authentic and vulnerable, that’s when people like them the most.

[Sezza110]

Trying to understand them by listening and having open communication.

[Marg2k8]

Just keep saying things like 'well done' or 'great'.

[muppet1501]

Be a role model. How you treat them and speak to them will teach them to respond the same way. Praise them on the little things which boost their confidence into doing something bigger and more challenging. I am a parent of teenagers and i also teach teenagers too so i see things from both perspectives. You are their role model. You are the one they look up to. You are setting the example so make sure its a good one.

[spottypjs]

Ugh teenagers! It is difficult. In my opinion you have to try and talk with them about things and lead them to becoming independent. They have to make their own decisions at some point and yeah some won't always be what we might have chosen but they have to learn that for themselves.

[rutsan]

I encourages my teenagers to do what they enjoyed. My son has been a member of the army cadets for 4 years and also does boxing, and my daughter plays the piano, violin and also goes horse riding. They have to do choures around the house for it :)

[shellywkd]

I think you have to talk things through and help them become more independent. Explain why you have to say no sometimes and encourage them to do things independently.

[amyhalliday1]

I think leading by example is important - showing strength not aggression x

[nettymay]

My teenagers became confidant after taking up a Sport - one swimming and one Judo - it made a huge difference for them to mix with children from different schools and backgrounds