Share your tips for raising a kind child with the new Wonder film: chance to win £300 NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

The team behind the new Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson and Jacob Tremblay movie, Wonder, would love to hear your top tips for raising a kind child. The film really showcases how - as one MNer who has seen the film - says “a little bit more kindness in the world would be no bad thing”. Another Mumsnetter who saw a preview screening said “the issues raised are really important for all of us to [be] reminded of. Standing up to things that are wrong (even when it makes us unpopular), and always being kind - how many of us always live up to that?” here

Here's the synopsis: “starring Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson and Jacob Tremblay and based on the New York Times bestseller, WONDER tells the story of August Pullman. Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to find their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out.”

Wonder is rated PG & open NOW

Watch the trailer here:

So how do you encourage your child to be kind to others? Please share your top tips and experiences of kindness from your child...has your child received a reward for kindness, have they gone out of the their way to show kindness to other children or have they had a period of not being kind but have come through it and learnt how important kindness is.

Add your comment to this thread and you will be entered into a prize draw where one winner will get a £300 voucher for the store of choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck
MNHQ

Standard Insight T and Cs apply

WONDER stars ACADEMY AWARD® WINNER JULIA ROBERTS (Eat Pray Love), ACADEMY AWARD® NOMINEE OWEN WILSON (Midnight in Paris), JACOB TREMBLAY (Room), MANDY PATINKIN (‘Homeland’)and IZABELA VIDOVIC (Homefront). Directed by STEPHEN CHBOSKY (The Perks of Being a Wallflower) the screenplay is written by STEPHEN CHBOSKY (Beauty and the Beast) and STEVEN CONRAD (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty) and JACK THORNE (‘This is England ’90’) based on the New York Times bestseller WONDER by R.J PALACIO

Kindness is the top thing in our house. We even have a quote on our wall 'No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted' Aesop

Be as kind as you can to them and everyone and apologise when you haven't been

Most days. I tell him he is Smart. He is kind. He is important.

He is the most kindest 7 year old boy I know. He actually got an award at school last week for his kindness.

Brainwashing is the answer

We have a kindness chart, when all boxes (49) are filled with kind acts the children get to choose an activity like museum trip, far away park or day out.

I think it is really important to get out and be part of the local and wider community. Support the children to meet and learn about lots of people so that they start to recognise the familiarities not the differences!

I think the most important thing is to lead by example. I'm hoping that if they see me being kind, both to them and to others, they'll naturally follow suit. I value kindness above all things.

Having a severely disabled brother helps. It means you grow up with perspective and and understanding that some people need extra support and that some families have a very difficult time. Not just learned from the sibling but from their peers. Does give insight into what is important in life (kindness being one of those).

I have had three people tell me over the last 2 weeks that ds2 and ds3 are ‘lovely boys’ and I do attribute a lot of that to their brother.

My DS is really kind & thoughtful. He shows it in many ways ie. sharing with his sister, hugging her when she is upset, letting her choose which bedtime story we read etc. But one way which really melted my heart was when the way he has taken under his wing a boy in his class who is the only one who doesn't speak English. He plays with him all the time and says he's going to look after him. Even though there is a language barrier they are the best of friends. Not many other children play with this boy so I'm proud of DS for befriending him.

I encourage mine to think of themselves as being part of a community. I take them to the food bank, take them with me when I vote and explain about how what we do always has an impact on others. They get involved in volunteering and charity fundraising, for example through Scouts and local charities and they meet lots and lots of other people from different places and walks of life. We also talk about being kind to each other as a family, so kindness starts at home where they can make a difference to each other. When they hear about something bad that has happened, on the news or elsewhere, we talk about what the kind people are doing to make it better.

Sometimes when my DC were very young, they would see people on the street and make snap judgements based on appearance or their perception. I always took time to explain that people are all individuals and that the fact we are all different makes life richer and more interesting. I also teach them to form an opinion not by the way they look, but by how people act towards you and to always reciprocate kindness.

They now have a very accepting, open view of others, which I am sure impact them very positively in the future.

I always point out kind behaviour from other children or adults and extravagantly praise any kindness shown to siblings.

I've got 4 children ( well 2 are now 18+ ) I've always just taught them to only treat anyone how you would like them to treat You! I've never had a issue with any of mine ( as far as I'm aware ) of them being unkind to anyone and even my boys are fine talking about emotions and such like. So I persumed it worked.

We talk about kindness on a daily basis, so it's ingrained as part of everyday life.

Kindness is highly praised, and I'll often ask after school: "Who was kind today?". If one of my children is being mean, I'll ask "was that kind?".

It's very important to me.

I think with kindness the adage 'actions speak louder than words' matter. Model the behaviour. Be kind whenever possible. Give people the benefit of the doubt; be kind when you don't need to, even when its not 'convenient', try never to speak unkindly about others. The more we practice being kind, the more we find ways to model it. Notice when your children are kind and appreciate it. We have a quote on our fridge (taken from the book Wonder, quoting J.M. Barrie): "always be a little kinder than necessary", and we try and live by this. We're not saints, by any means, but the older I get, the more I realise that most of us are fighting unseen battles, and kindness is one of those rays that makes the difference. I hope my children grow to know this too.

At Christmas every year DS will be donating his unwanted toys to charity. I want to teach him the real meaning of Christmas is about giving back.

Megan is one of those people who feels so deeply about everything, all the time. She cries watching adverts for aid or Red Nose Day and Children in Need. She's always been incredibly kind and sometimes we've had to remind her that she does sometimes need to think about herself too- especially when she's allowed the 9th child to come down the slide before her because she's being polite!

Every Christmas Eve she spends her evening going through old toys and books that are in great condition but that she will no longer use ready to give to charity the following week. She has a pile of books waiting to take to the local optician for children to read while they wait- we don't even use this optician but she had a series of books on doctors, opticians, vets that she thought would be great for them. She saw an advert for Myton Hospice one Christmas Eve about 4 years ago which set the whole thing off- it basically said that you know you are probably going to get gifts from loved one for Christmas is there anything you can spare. She hit her wardrobe, she hit our wardrobes and her Grandparents too. By Boxing Day she had 9 boxes of items to drop off the the Charity shop that week. It's become her tradition now.

We were learning about homelessness last year and while we went out to get shopping, we saw a man sleeping rough by the side of the supermarket. With my permission she asked him if he was hungry and would like us to grab him any food. Now i would like to stress that we are not a rich family and we often rely on food that my Dad brings or my Nan drops in but watching your young daughter use her pocket money to buy a man she doesn't know a pack of sausage rolls and a drink is a truly heartwarming thing. We stood talking to him for ages and he was a really lovely chap. She's never shared with anyone that she bought this man some food, i guess she's never needed to and i'm only sharing this with you in the hopes that it inspires someone else to do something similar this Christmas.

I think that children pick up on what we send out to the world, we always remind her that everyone is equal and everyone should be appreciated and respected. It's really important to instil in them that everyone's perspective matters.

You have to be the kindest person to them for them to learn how to be kind to others. Thank them, say please, compliment them, congratulate them! Be positive because it's contagious. Sometimes perhaps its necessary to have a conversation like "some people are different, or do things differently, but it doesn't always mean they are bad or that we shouldn't be kind to them"
I spoke to my 6 year old about this, to which he replied "well, I'll invite Donald Trump to my birthday party then because I think that would be kind of me and it might make him be kind too"

I encourage DC to be be kind to others all the time, whether that is being caring or being helpful. DC is involved in the community, takes part in fundraising. They care about others when they are ill or upset and was recently commended by a Group Leader for being so caring about another upset child.

I would tell then if if I heard then being unkind and also try to model kind behaviour for them.

Christmas a few years back both DC wanted the latest console, it was affordable, but we've been through so many that barely get used. So said about children whose parents can't afford much at all, for the same amount you could get 10 children £45 worth of stocking fillers. My DC seem to naturally gravitate towards helping others, at a Mums day I saw one DC comfort a crying child on their knee. They always make sure no one is excluded from games.

When I was younger I was similar, I hated seeing anyone get picked on. So maybe it is nature. Plus possibly experiences when they've been made to feel sad by others.

My DC love baking, they love helping out at events and visiting their Grandmothers elderly friends. They get to cuddle cats and have grown up tea.

I think it's important no matter what your circumstances to make your children aware, they're at the same school as children who don't get the same as them. Our parenting style is to explain why a behaviour is negative over shouting at them.

It's instilling life lessons that hopefully they'll keep in mind throughout their lives. Getting angry is natural, but calm down, as shouting can be hurtful. It is rather liberal, it's also teaching them that not everyone is nice, so don't be shocked if someone is nasty.

My children gravitate towards those that other children would exclude, they believe strongly in inclusion, which I feel is important with the vast spectrum of children at primary and secondary schools.

I really try to promote kindness and thinking of others in my child.
Our advent calendar for instance is going to have several do something kind today slips in, be it go and give a friend a hug or to buy and then donate a gift for a local xmas appeal.

Lead by example I always think. And having pets means they learn to care for others

We learn from experience- model the behaviour you want. I hope by treating my family and people we come in contact with kindly then my children will behave towards others in the same way.

Ok, so this might sound a bit silly but when I was a child I used to do this thing with my mum and now I've just started with my daughter (who is four and a half). We'd cut out small pretty pictures from things like flower catalogues and use them as tokens and then we would play 'kindlings'. We'd do little 'kindling missions' like visit an elderly distant relative that was lonely in a nursing home, or help someone who was feeling sad at school etc and as a reward we'd have a token! It would make it into a sort of adventure and it really sparked the imagination in terms of what one can do for others!
P.S. I still find these tokens amongst my old stuff (books etc) and it brings a smile to my face every time!

Children learn through seeing behaviour modelled so if you want a kind generous child (not just money) then you need to model it.