Celebrate the launch of My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 by sharing your dos and don’ts for throwing a big family wedding and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher. NOW CLOSED!

[ZaneMumsnet]

Weddings should be occasions of joy and happiness; however there are some times when they can be stressful and downright insufferable. From unreasonable demands from brides to issues over inviting (or not inviting) children, not to mention the sticky issue of wedding lists and seating plans, they can be a bit of a nightmare. To mark the return of the long awaited romantic comedy My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, we would like to hear the rules you’d put in place for successful big family weddings.

Written by Academy Award® nominee Nia Vardalos, who stars alongside the entire returning cast of favourites, the film reveals a Portokalos family secret that will bring the beloved characters back together for an even bigger and Greeker wedding. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 hits cinemas on March 25.

Check out the trailer below:

If you were coming up with a list of dos and don'ts for how to throw a big family wedding what would they be? Have you been to some terrible ones you’d like to share a story about? If you were going to have one, how would you make sure it all went without a hitch?

Whatever your ideas and stories are, we'd love to hear them.
Everyone who posts on this thread with their tips will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky Mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Thanks and good luck with the prize draw,
MNHQ

Standard Insight Terms and Conditions apply

Do - make a list and budget for everything.
Do - save as much money as possible, as you will probably go over budget.

Don't - Let anyone else take over
Don't - Leave things until last minute.

Just one big DO for me...

You are in charge and you do not pander to anyone's moans or groans about who is/is not invited, where they are sitting etc

It is your day, people either accept that or they don't.

Do: Have a modest, but fun wedding. Don't get into massive debt over just one day. Buy your dress online as separates (corset top and ballgown skirt). Cost of whole dress less than 200 pounds.

Don't: Plan on smashing plates Greek stylee (I'm half Greek). It's banned on health and safety grounds.

Don't- bother
Do- spend your money on something else.

Don't buy the first dress that you try on. Yes you may love it, but you will probably change your mind at a later date when you've thought about it.

Don't let the bridesmaids have a say on their dresses. They won't agree and at least one will be stroppy as they don't have the dress they wanted. The only way to go is benign dictator.

Do have goodie bags on the tables for children to keep them amused during the meal/speeches.

Do have a sweetie buffet. These are awesome!

Do make sure that you find some quiet time with just your husband at some point during the day as ultimately that's why you are going through it all in the first place.

Personally:

DO plan a wedding that is within your means. If you don't have a lot of money, have a small wedding or else save until you can have the wedding you want.

DON'T ask for money, ask your guests to buy their meals or rely on contributions to make your giant circus feasible if you can't afford it otherwise. Also don't have a destination wedding and talk about how much cheaper it is to go away and get married. It's only cheaper because you're shifting the costs and inconvenience onto your guests.

Do the wedding that YOU want, not what your mum/dad/sister thinks you should have.

Don't have your wedding really early and then leave everyone sat around for hours.

My advice is don't try and please everyone, we ended up upsetting loads of DH's aunts, but what could we do his father is one of 6 plus they have children who have had kids so it was just silly numbers. In the end we just chose close family and friends and the rest could come in the evening. We chose what we wanted and it was tough if people didn't like it. I wouldn't spend ridiculous amounts of money on it either, I would prefer to get a nice house, or spend it on a nice holiday.

Share your dos and don’ts for throwing a big family wedding:

DON'T

Do - stick to your budget, choose what YOU want and have goodie bags for kids.

Don't - discuss your seating plan with anyone, get drunk and fall over, having to be put to bed by 9pm (not my wedding, but went to someone's who did this) and definitely don't become Bridezilla.

We made three lists, things I definitely wanted, things he definitely wanted and 'not bothered either way'. We agreed in advance to have everything on each other's lists ( neither of us had a very exciting wedding first time round) without discussion, so I got a church wedding, he got a posh cake! Then we prioritised our spending, the party was top of that list. We didn't bother with poncy chair covers, wall drapes or favours ( seen far too many left on tables at other folks weddings) and gave them wedding cake for dessert! A friend took our photos, I did all the flowers ( easy peasy, learn the tricks of the trade on you tube) and we left the church in a coach with all our friends and family on board too. We had a cracking party with a live band and all the people we love had a marvellous time. Wouldn't change a thing!

Do not try to micro manage the event. Delegate as much as you can.

To save money do as much yourself as you can. Check out Pinterest for lots of fab ideas on table decorations, invitations, favours etc.

Have something fun for both adults and children to do. Maybe a children's area with a bouncy castle. Also, at the entrance, hand out a children's activity pack, that way children can be kept occupied without stressing parents. Keep secluded areas so new mother's can breastfeed in peace. At one wedding we went to, we were given warmed baby food, a vegetarian, meat and sweet option so that we could feed the little ones too. Have some finger foods suitable for kids. If you are having a dessert/candy table, don't forget adults can be big kids too!

have a buffet so people can sit where they want, had a quite area for people who want to chat and older people who may not like loud music of a wedding.

Personally I wouldn't have one, but I would say that if you want to invite people with kids, then don't have it mid-week cos the kids will be at school. Also bear in mind that people who live away will have to have overnight accomodation. It's not fair to expect a gift from them as well as them having to pay out to attend.

If you're a stressy person then hire a wedding planner because it's a lot of work.

What we are doing is hiring an exclusive use venue for two days. On the first day we can all get together and get to know each other, as most of our family live 'down south' or abroad and have not met.
On the second day were having the wedding. Although we will obviously be dressed up and everything we will keep everything very basic and informal, even having a buffet style meal instead of the usual sit down dinner.
The morning after we'll have breakfast together before everyone leaves.
We want as many kids as possible to come along, they are part of the family after all. And: they will probably remember having been to a wedding when they start planning theirs and remember how special it was for them as kids to be there.

One thing I find very important: Don't just expect free services from family members (ie hairdressers, chefs). If they're invited as guests, treat them that way, unless they actually offer/ want to help.

Don't listen to anyone else!

It's your wedding you should plan what you both want and who you want to share your day. You can never please everyone just aim to please yourselves. And enjoy. Spend as much as you can afford don't get yourself into debt for others you have not been in the same room as for many years and may go another many years not seeing after your wedding day.

• Checklists, keep a folder of checklists if you have to!
• Oh and make sure to keep note of any feuds in the family. You don't want two aunts who hate each other sitting at the same table!
• Get your caterers to prepare more food, with big weddings you might have surprise last minute guests and ahem people with big appetites.
• have a budget, you don't want to be in debt over your wedding.

Have a 'Special Day' within your budget. I have friends still in debt 2 years after the Big Event.

First thing first put money aside for caterers. My sister had a massive wedding some time back and it was huge. We thought as a family we would do the catering between us but the wedding kept getting bigger and bigger in the end we all clubbed together and paid for caterers. Once that was paid for the stress just lifted from our shoulders and everyone could start to enjoy the planning and shopping etc

get someone else to organise it!

Keep it laidback, it's your day!

Do not invite people you don't feel comfortable with! I was very stressed about inviting certain members of the family that I did not get along with and were known for being "difficult" after a drink or too. I was presured into it and sure enought they ended up causing trouble, being rude and generally stressing me out :( I wish i had followed my instinct and been a bit more selfish!