Share your advice for first time parents to help build their confidence with Nurofen for Children - £300 voucher prize draw! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

Research by Nurofen for Children shows that, on average, it takes a first time mum an average of six months to feel confident as a parent(i). With that in mind, they'd like to know what words of wisdom you'd pass down to a first time mum to boost their confidence.

Here's what Nurofen for Children says, "Becoming a mum is a wonderful life changing experience, and a huge learning curve. Nurofen for Children understands seeking advice from other mums is an important part of feeling confident in the decisions you make for your new baby, so we’d love to know your best advice for other first-time mums".

Maybe you'd share something your own parents told you that helped when you were embarking on parenthood. Or something you wish you'd been told when you were a new parent. You might have a nugget of advice that you think would really make a difference, and we're eager to hear it.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

Thanks

MNHQ

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Nurofen for Children 3 months to 9 years Orange / Strawberry. Nurofen for Children Orange / Strawberry 3 months to 12 years (weighing over 5kg). Contains Ibuprofen. For relief of fever. Always read the label.

(i) Survey of 2,000 mums by One Poll, commissioned by Nurofen for Children (October 2013)

This too will pass! Be it good or bad...

Never feel like a question is a silly one. I'd you're worried ask someone, a health visitor , a gp or just someone with experience. It's never a silly question because we have all been there before!

A doctor told me babies can't tell night from day and only begin to at about three months old, so don't get too hung up on routine, go with what the baby wants and sleep whenever you both can. Luckily I did this and didn't feel too tired.

You are the expert of your baby. Trust your instincts.

Listen to advice, smile politely and decide which parts suit you, your baby and your family (if any at all).

Be the parent you want to be. For instance, if you lose your patience with your baby/child then realise it's not the end of the world and in a little while you can start again as "The mum who is relaxed and doesn't shout at my kids for being kids".

Take each day (and night) at a time. Learn to ignore well meaning "advice" from all and sundry if it isn't what you want for you and your baby. For the first couple of weeks/months, do whatever makes your life easier to look after baby and yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel you aren't coping.

Try to get out of the house once a day. Join baby groups, visit friends and family, go for walks, look on your local area/councils websites and find some places to go.
Those first few months can be so overwhelming and having some adult contact and a change of scenery can make all the difference.

Being a first time Mum is daunting, everyone who has had a baby for the first time is in the same boat. Don't judge yourself against other first time Mums, do what works for you and your baby. Relax, its important to not get up tight about things, babies pick up on your feelings, especially if they are breast fed. If you're wound up, baby will be more likely to cry, not settle etc. Just go with the flow, don't worry about getting into a routine, that will or won't come. Enjoy your time with your baby, it's so precious and it will pass too quickly.

It gets easier every day. Sleep deprivation won't last forever (though it might feel like it). Try and get outside - somehow a howling baby doesn't seem like such a trial if you are out. And finally - cuddling your baby is never time wasted - even if they fall asleep on you and you have a million other things to be doing.

Follow your instincts: if your baby wants cuddles then cuddle then. Don't listen to people who say you will spoil the child etc.

Remember that this phase (whatever it is) will pass.

Don't be afraid to ask for help or advice.

Don't panic if you make a mistake. You'll be surprised at how many of us have made mistakes too and our children survived.

I read somewhere might even gave been on Mumsnet that you get one "free pass". The example was of someone having spilled some hot tea but fortunate her child had moved. It's not an excuse to be negligent but just a reassurance that we're not perfect.

Mine was leaving a storm door open when leaving the house at 6am and dh "losing" ds (who was c18 months old and had only just learnt to walk), who had crawled through the inner door (which had a pane of glass removed as an interim measure until we put a cat flap in) and had gone "exploring" at 7am on a wet February morning. Dh eventually found him at the other side of the house next door

What a fantastic thread, cheers for the tips guys (going to try the vest tips for our next change, that will be so handy!)

We're only at 5 weeks so I don't have any real advice yet, but those who say don't buy too much beforehand speak the truth!

That parenting is not a competition. It's no fun trying to compete with the parent whose baby puts on the most weight, is the tallest, sleeps the best, is in the best routine, can swim at 4months, has their first tooth, crawls first, takes their first steps, learns to read before nursery...

Keep reminding yourself that your child is unique and enjoy their own special skills and talents and personality.

You will tie yourself in knots if you listen to everything you are told. Put the books down and trust your instinct!

"if it squeaks, stick a boob in it" that is the best advice ever MakeTeaNotWar

true, it wouldn't have helped me with DS1 as there was PND, attachment and latching issues, but with DS2 that was my guiding principle and we did much much better for it!!

The baby stage is ridiculously short .. Cherish it as before you know it they are running round and starting school. Don't feel like you need to rush things.. You will soon be wishing that they couldn't talk or walk when they are following you in the toilet and asking you questions continuously !! We all feel the need to check our progress with everyone else's son or daughter, but try and relax and let it happen in its own time wether it's potty training or eating solid food.

Make a little kit bag for cold & flu complete with Vicks vapor rub, vapor candles (home bargains), paracetamol and syringe, olbas drops (scatter on pillow and bedding). It's all there in one place and especially handy if you're going away.

Also, Vicks rub on the feet then socks/babygro at night will help ease a bad cough! Honest

whatever your feeling is right. don't judge yourself for tiredness,for not being able to cope as others you see.forget about beauty,work,things your MEANT to be doing as a mum. you are you that is the best mum for the baby that is yours. she/he grew in your they are linked to you,not to mum jo next door. htye have no connection to your little bundle.you no your child.you have that instinct.and you have everything you need to help them grow and live a joyous life. your the best mum ever!!never forget it. take it at your own pace. honour your pace.

Try to ignore unsolicited bollocks advice.

Don't try to get back to normal too quickly. Allow yourself time to adjust to having a baby.

Don't buy expensive baby clothes for a young baby as they will get puke or poo on them. Buy cheaper multipacks and bin if the stains won't come out.

Get the cheapest nappies that don't leak ours were fine with supermarket own brand or lidl. The baby is going to poo in it then you will throw it away, it is not a family heirloom .

Don't get too hung up on the type of birth you want. My first birthplan was several paragraphs, my second was about 3 lines.

Your child knows only you. you are their rock, their night and day, their food and water, warmth and love. to them you are perfect, believe it and things will always seem ok.

My advice to new parents would be to listen to the advice given by friends, relatives, professionals etc, but at the end of the day, trust your own instincts! Everyone has their own view and opinion and often there is some sense in what is being said. However, you are the parent, which means you know your child better than anyone else and you will invariably go with the right option. If in doubt, seek proper advice.

The internet is great for advice, using forums like mumsnet is a great place to ask questions and get a range of opinions, but be sensible when taking advice from strangers!

Don't use 'first time mum' as an excuse, be sensible and trust your own instincts.

cherish every second- and it wont last forever

Take each day as it comes and try not to worry if all of a sudden things change or get more difficult, everything is a phase and you will get through it. Don't be afraid of cancelling plans/ignoring the housework/staying in your pjs all day. Friends and family will understand and the house will still be standing at the end of the day!

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Each day will be what it needs to be, sometimes you'll be strolling in the sunshine at ten am with everything under control, other times you'll be late to baby group and hoping nobody notices you still have your pyjamas top.on, which is quite possibly inside out also. Some days are pure bliss others are a complete struggle to survive until bedtime. don't be afraid to ask for help/cake/tea/wine.

People may seem desperate to offer you "helpful" advice. This will probably include some gems and some absolute rubbish. It can be hard differentiating between the two-Every mother and baby and day are different, it's ok if something that worked for them doesn't work for you. There are a million different ways to raise a baby, whichever choices you make you are likely to feel incredibly guilty...motherhood makes most of us very good at that.

Try not to turn into a mumzilla, there's ways to celebrate milestone s without making them a competition. Getting pious about your parenting beliefs doesn't make anyone feel good. Be a friend to other mothers, it's tough out there. Don't join in the hoards of "helpful" advice givers pass the tea/cake/wine and listen, empathise and laugh.

Ignore most advice and don't read up too much. I was busy reading whether I was doing the right thing with my newborn, that I always felt I was doing it wrong and therefore I didn't enjoy it as much as I might have done otherwise.