Share your advice for first time parents to help build their confidence with Nurofen for Children - £300 voucher prize draw! NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

Research by Nurofen for Children shows that, on average, it takes a first time mum an average of six months to feel confident as a parent(i). With that in mind, they'd like to know what words of wisdom you'd pass down to a first time mum to boost their confidence.

Here's what Nurofen for Children says, "Becoming a mum is a wonderful life changing experience, and a huge learning curve. Nurofen for Children understands seeking advice from other mums is an important part of feeling confident in the decisions you make for your new baby, so we’d love to know your best advice for other first-time mums".

Maybe you'd share something your own parents told you that helped when you were embarking on parenthood. Or something you wish you'd been told when you were a new parent. You might have a nugget of advice that you think would really make a difference, and we're eager to hear it.

Everyone who posts on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one mumsnetter will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher!

Thanks

MNHQ

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Nurofen for Children 3 months to 9 years Orange / Strawberry. Nurofen for Children Orange / Strawberry 3 months to 12 years (weighing over 5kg). Contains Ibuprofen. For relief of fever. Always read the label.

(i) Survey of 2,000 mums by One Poll, commissioned by Nurofen for Children (October 2013)

Just the obvious, just because it is right for another mother doesn't mean it has to be what you do too - ie you don't HAVE to have a pushchair when they are small, a carrier can be quite sufficient.

Every baby is different

Don't compare

The housework can wait - if someone is due to visit, they are coming to see you & your new baby, not to check how clean the bathroom floor is

Trust your instinct - mum (you) knows best!

-It's not always going to be how you expected and that is ok, go with the flow.
-Go with your gut instinct :)

Just sleep and sod the housework! And drink tea, lots of it!

My advice would be to focus on your family and yourself. Do not compare how your baby is to someone else's. If your baby cries a lot or doesn't sleep through the night and another baby does, it doesn't mean the other baby's parents are better than you. Every baby is different and you are doing an amazing job. Overnight you will go from 'expecting' to parent and it takes time to get used to it

You can do it!!! :)

Do not buy any parenting books! Trust your instincts, there is no right answers, every baby is unique. Try not to have an "I'm more tired than you" competition with your partner! It will turn your life as you know it on its head. Try breastfeeding, it's bloody hard and takes a while to get but don't beat yourself up if you decide to stop! Go to your antenatal classes, you will make lifelong friends.

Your baby is a unique little person who loves you. Love him or her, cherish them, and be your own style of parent. Trust your own ability. Get a circle of mom friends.

Step away from Google! You'll get loads of conflicting advice and it will make your anxiety worse. Trust your instinct, experiment to see what works for your baby at that time and be prepared to keep adapting as they change.
A walk in the fresh air does wonders for frazzled baby and frazzled mum.
A fabric wrap (aka hands free kit) will change your life in the early months.
Put together a big bowl of rice or couscous salad on a Sunday evening so you have a healthy lunch you can eat with one hand while feeding the baby.
Breastfeeding will take all your time, energy, patience and perseverance. That is ok. Stick on a good box set, get your boobs out, arm yourself with muslins, water and flapjacks and only invite people round if they will not bat an eyelid at this.

Go with the flow, enjoy the cuddles and do what works for you and baby, there isn't one right answer as what worked for someone else may not be what works for you

Remember that every phase will pass - and don't forget to enjoy each phase as well as enduring it

A relaxed happy parent equals a relaxed happy baby - do what makes you happy regardless of whether 'studies' say you should be doing it or not.

Also trust your partner and let him look after his baby without you hovering - people talk about maternal instincts but paternal instincts exist too and the sooner daddies are allowed to care for their children the more natural it will be.

Each stage will pass. Your baby will eventually sleep, you will be able to leave the house without spending 6 hours getting ready, you will feel 'normal' again. It's all ok. None of us knew what we were doing with our first babies, and, seeing as they are all different, we still have no idea with our third...but we are all ok!!

When you are reaching the dead zone after weeks of no sleep, your baby will smile at you. And you will disintegrate because it's adorable.

Don't try and plan your birth too much. I've met very few no-one whose birth has gone to plan. It will be disappointing if you had this vision of classical music while you pushed the baby out and end up being rushed for a c section or forceps being used. All that matters is you are both ok.

It all turns out ok. Honestly. You think it's too much, you can't cope and in the end you can. And your child will be fine.

Everyone will have lots of advice for you. Don't feel you have to take it all - if it doesn't sound like it would help then feel free to ignore it. Babies haven't read the books so don't think something's wrong when they don't do things the way whatever you've read says they should.

Trust your instinct, but don't be afraid to ask for help or advice if you need it - it isn't a sign of failure!
All babies are different, yours is super-special.
A routine works wonders for some, but others are happy without - whatever works best for you and baby is the ideal solution.
Its OK to stop breastfeeding if you want. You know your body best.
Baths (for you) can help you to relax and to feel human again.
Try to get out of the house once you're comfortable. Fresh air is wonderful for the spirits and company can help keep things in perspective.
Muslins are amazing.
Know the out of hours docs telephone number. And don't be afraid to use it.
It's hard work, but it's also fun, rewarding and life-changing (obvs!).
Share the responsibility of your baby with their father as much as possible.
You will be a fantastic parent, cherish every moment.

If you don't feel an overwhelming rush of love for your baby on first sight, that's OK and normal (wish I'd known that at the time).

Millions of mothers before you have managed, and so will you.

Trust your instincts - there's no right or wrong way to bring up your child, so just do what feels right, and what works for you.

In my experience, a relaxed, unstressed parent will generally end up with a relaxed, unstressed child.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself try not to compete with others at parenting groups or to feel discouraged when your baby sleeps less etc than others may say.

Ask for help if you need it. Be honest about how you are feeling. If you're having a wobbly day I always found it better to share that with a friend/relative. Likewise if you have a great day / see exciting new developments in your baby!

Best advice would probably be don't listen to others! .. Although well meaning, other people are not in your shoes so follow your own instinct.

My best pieces of learning would be:
Ignore people who say sleep whilst the baby sleeps - save that for when you're knackered, as sleep will eventually become more important than catching up on your fave tv show. Until then, enjoy your shows or whatever you do to relax.

Fight the urge to buy all things new. There are second hand bargains to be had!

Enjoy your PFB - although I love my DS2 dearly, I haven't got the 1-1 time that I had with DS1.

If you're anxious or begin to recognise signs of postnatal depression get thyself to the GP! I had anxiety after DS2 (panic attacks) and the GP was wonderful, medication helped me almost instantly - so seek help if needed, don't suffer alone.

1. Trust your instincts - you know more than you think you do.

1. You might not love it (motherhood or your baby actually) straight away. The massive surge of love might not come instantly, it might grow slowly and steadily until one day you realise it's there and it takes your breath away.

There are many polarised debates in child rearing. Every parent wants to be the best parent they can be. Therefore some parents who adhere to a particular stance or follow a methodology for sleep, feeding etc will be very vocal about it and try to get you to follow their method. It is worth remembering that they are at least partly doing this to convince themselves that they have done the right thing. That doesn't mean their way is the right way and particularly it doesn't mean it is right for your baby.

I wish someone had told me that breastfeeding isn't always beautiful and lovely. It's a lot of work to make it get like that and a lot of the time it's painful and stressful and much like wrangling an angry octopus. If you want to breastfeed, read up about it before the baby is born and prepare yourself for what it's really like. I didn't do this and felt like a failure until I spoke to others on Mn and in real life and realised that it's totally normal. That helped me be much more relaxed about it and find practical ways to help DD feed better.

Don't over buy. I ended up buying lots of things I didn't need in preparation. Ask your friends not magazines what are essential items. For example you don't really need a plastic top and tail container - two old bowls do exactly the same job!

My advice would be to ignore advice! Don't feel you have to act on things that others tell you if it doesn't feel right for you b