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MNHQ

When did you realise your teenager was becoming an adult? Tell National Citizen Service and you could win a £300 Love2Shop voucher NOW CLOSED

57 replies

AngelieMumsnet · 09/10/2015 09:55

NCS would like to hear from Mumsnetters about the moment you realised that your teenager was becoming an adult.

Natasha Kizzie from NCS Trust says: "From their first driving lesson to their first holiday without you, these pivotal moments in a young person’s life can be our proudest yet, whilst also being a stark reminder of just how quickly they grow up! That’s why programmes like NCS can be such defining moments in their transition to adulthood.
The programme helps young people to make positive life choices by giving them responsibility for their own decisions in a safe environment away from their home setting and with people their own age. By trying new challenges and taking control of their own development, young people return from the programme noticeably more mature, confident in their abilities and ready to take on their future."

When did you first realise that your teenager was well on their way to becoming an adult? Perhaps it was when they finished secondary school or maybe when they got their first job? Perhaps they came up with a wise take on a tricky situation that showed you that you really didn't need to worry about them so much after all.

Whatever the defining moment was for you and your teenager, NCS would love to hear about it.

Everyone who adds a comment on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £300 Love2Shop voucher.

Please note your comments may be included on NCS's pages on MN, their social media channels, and possibly elsewhere, so please only post if you're comfortable with this.

Thanks & good luck,
MNHQ

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 11/10/2015 22:51

My eldest won't be independent :(

My youngest is still a young teen, but last year he was in a show which needed him to fly back & forth between here & ireland (he worked for a few days then came home, then went back). Okay he was chaperoned - but he was in Dublin, living in a flat with chaperone & another boy who was sharing the role & going to cast parties & sending me photos & facetiming between scenes completely relaxed & going shopping in Dublin & it all seemed very grown up. Especially as - due to ties with eldest severely disabled son I don't even have a passport at the moment. There he was flying back & forth.

SouthAmericanCuisine · 12/10/2015 07:47

No one defining moment, but a few memorable milestones so far, I'm sure there's more to come!

Finding her spelling test annotated with the letters "WTF?" in the margin. Properly punctuated vulgarity - and she was only 9!

Watching her approach members of the public with pen and clipboard to carry out a survey for the Youth Council. Not only was she calm and confident - she really cared about the issues she was discussing.

Feeling like a spare part when she enrolled at the local gym. I'd have been far more apprehensive !

Hearing that she'd been allocated a personal shopper while on a spending spree in the USA. Grin

Reading her English homework arguing both sides of the European refugee/immigration crisis - I'm not as articulate even now!

JilledOut · 12/10/2015 10:19

When I caught him looking at porn online Hmm - enough said...

BackforGood · 12/10/2015 16:34

When they started to filter the TVs programmes for me...you won't like that mum it's a bit rude, sweary etc.

Lol - my dc do this Grin

I don't think there's one defining moment either, but I think when ds started asking me for advice, after he'd come out of the other side of the "I know everything" teenage phase, it was quite a thing Wink

FreckledLeopard · 12/10/2015 16:46

When DD books her own appointments and speaks like a grown up on the phone! Also, she's now a trusted babysitter in our neighbourhood.

hunibuni · 13/10/2015 13:57

When he passed his driving test and took DD out for her first ride with him. They didn't go far, had hot chocolate and buns and he rang me to say that they had arrived and that they were leaving. Grin Also, the first time he got drunk merry but was still sober enough to make sure that his friend was ok (hammered!). He sat with him in the freezing bracing sea air shoving pints of water in him while cleaning up vomit, all the while chatting to me on the phone and reassuring me that it wasn't alcohol poisoning (stint as A&E nurse over Halloween meant I became veeery familiar with the symptoms). DH went to pick them up and he was impressed that DS was taking care of 2 very very drunk friends and keeeping them from getting into fights. I was so proud that he knew his limits and didn't cave in to peer pressure.

iwantgin · 15/10/2015 11:38

When DS told me that he had purchased next week's bus pass in advance as he knew he wouldn't have had time to do it the day before.

At last! Someone in the family like me - who plans ahead.

:)

Eve · 15/10/2015 12:12

when he went shopping on his own , choose his own clothes and paid using his own bank card with money he earned at his saturday job

insan1tyscartching · 15/10/2015 12:50

When my ds was 17 his best friend died suddenly from an undiagnosed heart abnormality. On the day of his funeral my son was a pall bearer and said a few words about his friend at the service.He said how he wished he could have given this speech when he was friend's best man at his wedding and how much there would be a gap at his. It was both touching and funny and straight from the heart and summed up their relationship as they had been friends since nursery.
I watched him that day become a man before my eyes. Even now 9 years later he visits his friend's grave each birthday, Christmas and anniversary and never fails to contact his mum and sister around then to check how they are coping.

EasterRobin · 15/10/2015 14:37

I don't have teenagers yet. But for my mum, the first time she starting thinking of me as growing up was apparently when I came back from a teen party talking disapprovingly about how some of the other guests had drunk too much too quickly and hadn't used enough mixer. (That was before I went to uni and discovered the joy of shots)

madmother1 · 15/10/2015 22:37

When he drove 4 hours on his own to visit his girlfriend at university.

ThreeSpike · 16/10/2015 00:00

When he made a GP appointment and attended without even telling us.

Baconyum · 16/10/2015 00:45

This year as SHE'S started nagging ME about housework - and no the place isn't unclean or untidy she's just reached the point where she likes things done a certain way and its different to mine Grin

myotherusernameisbetter · 16/10/2015 09:37

We've not hit many of the big milestones yet, but was proud of 14 year old DS2 when he maturely decided he didn't want to be friends with someone anymore as this "friend" was an out and out racist. I'd never really taken to the lad for other reasons but I was proud that he'd used his own judgment.

SuzCG · 16/10/2015 10:11

My eldest isn't quite a teenager yet but in the last holidays I overheard him saying to his younger sister 'I think I'm quite sarcastic nowadays because I am nearly a teenager'. That is obviously the determining factor then...

Belo · 16/10/2015 12:06

When DH and myself were arguing and DD1 (age 13) told us not to be so petty and that it didn't really matter who did what chore and that she would help out with the larger of the two!

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 17/10/2015 19:52

My DD went on an NCS course 2 years ago. She didn't want to go. I made her. Promised I'd pick her up Wednesday if she felt she really couldn't make it through to Friday.

Had a text the first afternoon saying she loved it.

Collected woman on the Friday from the coach, instead of the teenager I'd dropped off on the Monday.

I can truly say NCS changed the course of DDs life. From the outdoor activities of the first two weeks to project managing a charity concert, and raising nearly £2k for CRY, she enjoyed and grew as a person every day of the 4 week programme.

TheFormidableMrsC · 18/10/2015 13:10

When DD recently started her part time job while studying and when I realised that we could sit on the sofa together and have a glass of wine! How did that happen?! Smile

GloriaHotcakes · 18/10/2015 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snozzlemaid · 18/10/2015 19:00

Ds (just 18) now has an office job and has changed from a shy quiet boy into a confident young man. He tells me how his desk is neat and tidy and he delighted in organising some files that were a mess. He must have my organising admin head.
We left him at home alone for a couple of night a few months ago and he did great without us. Perfectly capable to look after himself and no rowdy parties.
He offers to wash the dishes sometimes without being bribed to do it!

Behooven · 18/10/2015 19:08

Some of these are bringing a tear to my eyes, lovely and sad at the same time. Our young people are marvellous! We should say that more Smile

My DS 17 is very definitely a young man now. It kind of sprung on me when he made all the University open day arrangements and travel plans with his friends. Mum wasn't required. Sad but Grin

sugar21 · 19/10/2015 00:59

When we went bra shopping and at 14 (now16) her boobs were bigger than mine.

enderwoman · 19/10/2015 08:07

My son sorted his work experience this weekend so wrote a cv and practiced for an interview.

Fannyupcrutch · 19/10/2015 11:31

For my eldest it was when I realised that her provisional driving license had just hit the doormat along with a theory book she had ordered. She had just turned 17. That thud changed my life perception forever. How is it possible that perfect little baby you bring home from the hospital is ready to learn to drive in what feels like the blink of an eye? I remember holding the back of her seat as she learnt to ride a bike. Standing in the bitter cold while she bounced along on the back of a pony all red-faced and giggly. Waving her off to do her first NCS residential and she didn't even look back. They grow up far too quickly but it's so satisfying knowing that you have helped to shape them into these wonderful young adults.

For my son, I realised he was a young man when I didn't have to nag him to get a shower every night. And then he refused to get his hair cut into the standard short back and sides. He looked a right scruff for 4 months but he was adamant that he wanted to grow his hair. Turns out I was completely wrong. It looks brilliant now, he gets loads of compliments as it suits him perfectly and he just gives me this little smile. It's not gloating, it's a " thanks for trusting me to do what is right for me, even though you weren't too sure".

I made those people. I nurtured them and did the best I could and I could not be any prouder of either of them. They have my blood sweat and tears behind them and I know without doubt they are good people with strong hearts.

fatbottomgirl67 · 19/10/2015 15:53

It really hit me last week when taking Dd to view 6th form. She engaged with form tutors and discussed syllabus whilst I had no idea what they were talking about. Quite scared when they plan their future and leave you behind??