MN Bumpfest: How did you feel about giving birth? Tell MNHQ for a chance to win £50 voucher! NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run-up to Bumpfest - our event for first-time mums (or second/third/fourth-timers in need of a refresher) - we thought we’d try to find out about how labour was for you.

Giving birth can be an extremely unpredictable affair, and as a result it’s shrouded in myth and mystery. If you’re soon to be doing it for the first time, trying to get a sense of what to expect can be nigh-on impossible - which is why we’d like to hear the truth of the matter, directly from the front line. How did you really feel, when you were in labour - and was the experience, for you, an empowering or disempowering one? Did you feel you were involved in the decisions made by the midwives and doctors? If not, was this because medial priorities took over - or did you feel you were unnecessarily kept out of the loop? Did your birth partner act as your advocate throughout the process - or did you do it all yourself? In short: how was it for you?

Thanks in advance - we hope it’ll help those about to go through it themselves to have a realistic picture of what to expect. Everyone who adds their thoughts to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.


MNHQ

P.S. If you'd like to find out more about Bumpfest, please click here.

[pinklady123456]

I was convinced I was going to be early with my daughter and told everyone that, despite everyone saying that first time mums always go overdue. I ended upbeing two weeks early and had a very fast labour with an emergency c-section due to an undiagnosed breech. Despite it being quite a serious situation, the hospital staff were amazing in keeping me calm and stopping me from panicking.

[pfcpompeysarah]

I was fine with the idea of it, until about 2 weeks before due date, then I was terrified, didn't help that I went nearly 2 weeks over the due date. I went in to the hospital at a fairly late stage of labour but the next day there was still no progress and my little one was effectively standing up inside, so I was taken in for a C section, then the tiredness began!!!!! Worth it though!

[Tonkatol]

I have four children. The first two (now 19 & 17), I went into labour naturally, had epidurals and then delivered easily once told I could push. I didn't know the midwife the first time round but was more familiar with the midwife at the second delivery. Both babies 3 and 4 (now aged 15 and 8) had to be induced and in both cases, I was given prostagen gel for the first day and then waters broken the following day. In both cases the labour then progressed quite well, and I felt in control and had an epidural, although with my 4th child, the needle in my hand for the prostagen gel had caused my hand to swell badly. The needle was reinserted and i had terrible back pain so I had a top-up of epidural. The midwife was looking after a couple of us and when she came into the room, she had to quickly open the pack before I delivered. Unfortunately, in every case of delivery, I felt I had little choice in what was happening, although I had put my faith in the doctors, midwives and trusted them to deliver my babies safely, which they did. At the end of the day, a healthy baby is the most important thing and everything else is incidental.

[TiggersAngel7774]

Scared witless.
Had week slow labour, 7 hours active to have labout stopped wait 4 hrs for emergency c-section. Lost so much blood community midwive shocked i was discharged. Couldnt sit on hard chair for months. 3 weeks post section haematoma meant i had to have section opened and 3 months post section my body had rejected stitches internal and caused an infection. Swore for long time never again . But i would love another child

[VickyRsuperstar]

I have had 9 children so a very mixed bag. My first baby I did not know what to expect, it went a bit different to how I would have liked because I had to be induced as I went very overdue. 10pm at 13 days overdue they started an induction with prostin gel which started contractions round 5am, they said they would take me to the delivery ward downstairs, but I didn't taken down until 10am and because I was waiting to go down I didn't sleep. Another dose of Prostin at 11am and my waters broke immediately and washed it out! I just didn't know what I was doing all day as I wasn't in established labour, not dialated and no advice from MWs on the ward. Eventually a MW did a sweep round 7pm and everything just kicked off immediately. They took me to a delivery room and then it filled up with Drs who told me it was my first baby, it would take 12 hours now until I had the baby and they wanted to put me on a drip to speed things up. I said no my labour has started and I didn't want it, but I was pressurized until I accepted it. I cried as they put the drip in as I really didn't want it at all. The pain was excruciating & quickly became unbearable and according to my hubby the MW rolled her eyes at me because of the "fuss I was making" I begged for Pethidine and they must have given me a big shot because I was out of it waking up for contractions. I suddenly realized that I was pushing and should tell the MW so I did and was told not to push because it was too early and I would get the baby stuck! I tried to stop pushing for 3 contractions which was close to impossible so the MW had a look and told me yes I was fully dilated and I could push! The MW didn't control the head delivery and just panicked me that they had lost the heartbeat trace and I had to get the baby out. I ended up with a nasty tear. I had my little boy in a 1hr 15min labour! Then I delivered the placenta and had a post partum hemmorhage as my body had been pushed too hard by the drip that I never wanted in the first place. All in all I felt a bit traumatized after the birth of my first baby and not very well supported on the delivery ward.

Fast forward to baby #9, I was induced before my due date due to the baby being tachycardic (high heart rate) and other risk factors. I went from my check up on the maternity day care unit straight across the corridor to the delivery room to have my waters broken which threw me a little as my babies are always 7-14 days late and I wasn't sure that my body would understand that this one had come out a lot earlier! The MWs couldn't have been lovelier or more supportive. They knew it was worrying for me and they were very kind & helpful as I was on my own for quite a while until baby sitters came round and my hubby could be with me. It took quite a while for to get things underway because every time I would have contractions start up, they would put yet another bag of fluid in me to stabilize my baby and bring her heart rate down and then my contractions would stall. Because I knew what I was doing I chased the Dr out of the delivery room all night LOL! He kept saying he wanted to use the drip to speed things up, but after the bad experience and hemmorhage the first time round I refused and he let it slip that the MWs on the ward were all backing me up and they didn't want me to have it either as they thought it was uneccesary risk and I would do it on my own. It was good to have their support! Eventually I was allowed off all the drips and could walk around and it all started up and went quickly. I just sucked on the gas & air and went into my own little world until my daughter was born not long later. The delivery staff couldn't have been better and often went well beyond the call of duty looking ater me.

[cheryl100]

I had an epidural and it was wonderful! I was reading my book until the nurse told me to put it down and push! Very relaxed for both me and baby :)

[SquidgyMaltLoaf]

I HATED it and was traumatised by the whole thing. Tried hypnobirthing first, then had has and air, ended up going to hospital by ambulance as I couldn't cope without pain relief for the half hour trip, tried the pool, had two lots of pethidine, epidural, then finally spinal block for a forceps delivery. The staff were all fab - encouraging, respectful, informative - but I found the whole thing excruciatingly painful, exhausting, and just awful. Wanted two children but really don't know how I could go through that again. Also took me a good few weeks to bond with DD which didn't help and still having physical problems three months later.

[salsquiggle]

I didn't enjoy either of my two experiences at all,. Furthermore I felt that as my bump grew my personal identity shrank

[Kentmummy1]

I was incredibly apprehensive, you hear so much from people that you don't know what to believe. Son number 1 was 36 hours of labour. I was at home for the first 14 hours then went to the hospital. The midwives were fantastic. Very supportive and although busy, came to check on me regularly during the early stages and when things got tough, were very attentive to my needs. I ended up with an epidural and although I was devastated that I needed one the midwife was very caring and once it was in, even confessed that she had epidurals with all three of her children and I had no reason to feel so ashamed. Son number 2 was slightly shorter labour at 29 hours. Again was at home for 12 hours then off to hospital. Walked around a lot and again had fantastic midwives. Thanks to the midwife in my first labour I had no hesitation in requesting an epidural a 2nd time when things got tough. I was exhausted and realised that I was helping myself and my baby. My husband was brilliant through both labours. Stayed with me the whole time although had a little snooze on the windowsill at one point.

[phillie1]

just relief that it was all over and baby arrived safely!

[vixxx666]

The first time round I was actually really relaxed, maybe because I was naive as to how painful it was actually going to be.
The second time round I was relaxed, but because I knew what to expect and what pain relief was available to me!

[jandoc]

Terrified !!

[CathBookworm]

I have been very lucky with both my births. The first one took only 6 hours from first twinge to delivery, and I arrived at hospital fully dilated. I felt very calm, which might have been due to the Natal Hypnotherapy CDs I'd been listening to for some weeks beforehand (or not). It remember later contractions hurting but I felt in control and perfectly able to cope. I did feel fobbed off a bit by midwives when we rang, as they didn't think I could be as far gone as I turned out to be. Second time I decided to have him at home, this time it took 5 hours, and though I got gas and air this time, I perceived it as more painful. Midwifes were great, very laid back, relaxed atmosphere. I was disappointed to have to go in for stitches afterwards.

[lisa71ish]

i felt totally scared, being my first child and going into premature labour 6 weeks early was the most frightening thing i have ever experienced

[JWalker23]

Just knowing that something that has built up over months is now going to enter a new stage

[26jibby]

My first labour lasted 9 hours and she was 9lb 1oz. My second was 3 hours from start to finish very traumatic as she was 9lb 10 oz and I was unable to have pain relief until after she was born. I then decided 2 children were enough

[kel1981]

I honestly had relatively straight forward births and - dare I say - enjoyable! I was induced using pessaries both times, 1st time after 10 days and the second after 14 days. I really wanted a home birth with my 2nd but they wouldn't let me after 14 days. My son came very quickly (within 90 mins) being born at 11.45pm and I demanded to go home at 7am the following morning as I wanted to sped as little time as possible in the hospital.
In fact I enjoyed my pregnancies and labours so much I am now a surrogate for my best friend! Just hope this is as straight forward as my own children were!

[candish63]

Labour is never the same, I've have had 6 children, just go with it. There is no way you are in control. Just hope you go to a good hospital with enough good staff.

[BL0SS0M]

i felt great about giving birth! my daughter was delivered by c section as she was breech! It went v smoothly and i recovered quickly! so all went well

[Flickabella]

I felt like I was left too my own devises throughout the labour really. As a young mum I needed more support as it was a ver? scary event!!!!

[lollylaus]

All three times have been very different! First one long and required stitching in operating theatre, second - useless midwife who ignored my pleas to push! My last labour was fairly short and with no pain relief (at a wonderful birth centre in Neath Port Talbot hospital - best experience ever!). I would say to anyone about to have a baby, go with what feels right to you at the time, try and stay calm and in control of the situation, LISTEN to the midwife and make sure your birth partner knows your needs and wants! :) not so scary as all that!

[Kellie1991]

I felt I found labour a lot easier than what I was expecting it to be.... I started to have slight contractions on the Friday night so went to be checked at maternity and I was 3cm dilated so went home to get a night sleep.... Woke up at about 7am still didn't feel the contractions very strong but went back down to the hospital to see how I was getting along and I was 6cm dilated.... I wasn't feeling any pain though I could feel the tightening but they weren't painful... After sitting until around lunchtime on the Saturday nothing was happening and as I was in a midwife led only unit they wouldn't break my waters as this was seen as inducing labour which they didn't do as there was no doctors within about 20 miles.... So i decided to go home and see if I could progress again in my own surroundings... Came home and had a long sleep and then decided to have a bath this was at 8.30pm....i started to feel the contractions getting closer and a bit painful but not uncomfortable... So. I decided again to make my way back down.... Arrived at the hospital at 9.15pm was examined and told I was still only 6cm and because I was failing to progress they would have to look at transferring me to the main hospital to consultant care..... Just then I was sat on the toilet and my waters broke and I got the overwhelming feeling to push.... The midwife said she doubted it was anything as he was back to back and I wasn't in severe pain and it would be a long night... But she got me onto the bed anyways and went to examine me only to announce she didn't need to because she could see his head.... He was born at 9.50pm with no pain relief... Pushing was painful but up to that point I found it OK. I found the worst part to be the 'aftermath' he turned in the birth canal and left me with a horrific amount of stitches lol! Overall though I had a very positive experience in a small 4 bed stand alone midwife unit.... I had one on one with a midwife the whole way through my labour and on the phone when I was at home and when I was delivering him there was 2 midwifes present and a couple of nurses who couldn't have been anymore helpful... I stayed in for 2 nights after the birth and nothing was any trouble for them my partner stayed over on a sofa bed in my room the whole time and the midwife would take him to feed him in the night as he was quite unsettled. I felt I was allowed to make all the decisions with their guidance and overall had a brilliant experience can't wait to do it all again! X

[littlemisstrivia]

I was surprisingly relaxed through my labour, especially after a shot and diamorphine. I just kept sucking on the gas and air to take my mind off everything else which worked well. The midwife even found something to keep the OH busy.

The whole experience was not too bad for me hence why I am about to go through it all over again.

[mamato3luvleys]

All 3 of my labours have been different, with my first ds my waters broke 7am on the morning and silly me just thought a was having a wee (well I had no clue it was 3 weeks early!) until my partner said come on a wee for 15 mins. Then I was having pains all day and after being sent home from hospital spent until about 5pm sitting on the toilet as I kept thinking I needed a poo! I went back to hospital and delivered my 7lb 6oz son at 9pm with the help of ventouse and forceps bless he looked like he'd been in a boxing ring with a black eye and an "alien" head. My second labour happened three weeks early again my waters broke pains all day and I gave birth to my 7lb 1oz beautiful daughter at6pm with just has and air I was most comfortable leaning over the head rest on bed so she looked to my partner that I was having her outa my bum! Lol then my most recent birth was 2weeks over my due date (5 weeks over in my head as I presumed I would be 3weeks early with this one also) three sweeps still nothing and the day I was given to get started off my pains started first thing on the morning. It was a struggle getting my two older children off to school then it was a mad rush into hospital my baby was stuck and needed forceps but he weighed 9lb1oz and was worth the wait. All I can say to first time mothers is don't be too hard on yourself if your birth plan doesn't go how you wanted just roll with it cos it's always worth it when you see your precious lil baba. And good luck

[MichelleMumsnet]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts. Congrats to ThreeYorkshires who has won the prize draw for a £50 John Lewis voucher! We'll be in touch soon.