MN Bumpfest: Share your thoughts and experiences on birth plans – £50 voucher prize draw NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run up to BumpFest (which we're VERY excited about - get your ticket now! ) we’re looking to get a better understanding of the experiences Mumsnetters have had around different issues surrounding childbirth - in particular, the infamous birth plan.

On a previous thread on Mumsnet it seemed as if many of you found that writing a birth plan was not as useful as you were led to believe for your first birth. What were your experiences with using your birth plan during labour? Did you follow it and find that everything went like clockwork, or did things end up more, er, ad-libbed, shall we say

Was your plan consulted by health care professionals during labour, or not? If not, was this due to the birth plan quickly becoming redundant, or did you feel that health care professionals simply ignored your birth plan? Did you feel that your needs and wishes were listened to during the birthing process? Did you find writing a birth plan a useful exercise in retrospect?

We know that every birth is unique, with or without a birth plan. We'd love to hear your experiences and thoughts, and if you have any birth plan wisdom to pass on (even if it's "chuck it out the window and get stuck into the drugs"), please do share.

Everyone who adds their thoughts to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks

MNHQ"

First birth in a birth centre, very calm water birth and the mw read my birth plan carefully. The birth all went to plan.

Second time, early induction due to complications. My birth plan was for the home birth I intended but I had to be in hospital and then felt that my mw, whilst supportive and responsive, was very much following the usual pattern and I was pretty much on a birth conveyor belt. She didn't refer to the birth plan and it didn't go the way I intended, but as she asked my consent and explained everything throughout I still felt in control (as much as I could) and the birth was ok although different to my first.

My birth plan was empowering as I had attended my sisters birth of my nephew which was very traumatic ending with forceps and I knew I didn't want this. My Doula helped me write it and it was very focused on a natural hypnobirth but also stated that if intervention was needed, I would not consent to instrumental delivery and would go straight to C-section. This was also signed off by a consultant whilst I was pregnant. It is definitely worth considering what intervention you do and don't want - you have a choice! Get it in your birth plan and discuss it with your midwife ahead of time so that if there is something that it would be helpful to have a consultant agree to (like my scenario) they can book you an appointment to get them to note your requests.
This is actually how my birth ended up - after failure to progress from 8cm at the midwife unit I was transferred to a hospital and opted to go straight to c-section rather then try to get things moving with a drip.

I wrote a brief plan and discussed it with DH. It wasn't really looked at but he knew what I wanted so was able to speak for me when I was busy/distracted.

I wrote a birth plan but don't recall seeing anyone look at it! I ended up with all of the things I said I didn't want so on the day it was me that changed the goal posts too. I think it is useful to have written down your ideals because at times you can't talk to explain your preferences so to have them recorded before things get too hectic is a good idea. It's also a document you can show your partner and there might be things noted that they hadn't thought to ask or to note down so from that point of view it's good also.

Mine was a list of birth preferences. Some of which happened, but the major ones didn't due to being induced.

I wrote an extensive birth plan for my first dc. Total waste of time as the midwives were too busy to look at it and circumstances meant it went out of the window anyway. But a traumatic forceps delivery meant I had a very clear idea of what I didn't want in subsequent deliveries. Number four due in a couple of weeks and I'm refusing instrumental intervention, they can go straight to surgery!

I had a few ideas for my birth plan but only wrote it half-heartedly. Most of my close family and friends had their babies way before me so I sort of knew that most plans went out of the window on the big day! I do remember the midwife being quite pleased that I wasn’t hung up on a whole list of specific do’s and don’ts and her saying what a pain it was when she was faced with people coming in waving several carefully typed sheets of A4.

I had a bulletpointed list. First point was to knock, and wait for an answer before entering my room. I appreciate this sounds precious but was a throwback to my first birth. MW was fully understanding and it happened everytime she came it. This really helped me relax as I knew she was doing all she could to keep me calm.

The other points after this were pretty vague - keeping mobile, skin to skin, no cord clamping, etc. All happened - but I know I had a simple, 'easy' birth.

I never bothered physically writing a birth plan, just made sure that my birth partners (husband & mother) knew exactly what I wanted, I also had a trainee midwife assigned to my case so had been able to discuss all my preferences with her & she was guaranteed to be there so didn't find it necessary to put pen to paper!
I had planned for a nice drug free water birth and whilst I did spend a lot some time in the pool baby refused to move so ended up with an epidural and then an emergency section!
Next time, I will have a similar birth plan in mind but much more open minded and prepared for an anything can happen scenario!

Birth plan is useful for discussing with your partner I think, but that's about it. As others say its best to remain open minded.

I had a vague idea about a birth plan. As a low risk 1st time mum, the only thing that I felt strongly about was that I wanted an epidural if my labour was to be speeded up. And that DP was to find out the gender. Beyond that, I didn't want to be prescriptive as I wouldn't know how I felt until I was in labour.

You can imagine my surprise when I developed severe PE at 28 weeks and needed an EMCS to save both our lives.

With DD, I decided that it was all beyond my control & never bothered with a birth plan. She was resolutely breech from 20 weeks at every scan. I needed another EMCS at 35+6.

I'm quite glad I wasn't hung up on any particular type of birth; the only conclusion I've come to is that it's often beyond our control anyway. I've seen friends with very fixed ideas about delivery struggle afterwards when it's not gone as prescribed in the birth plan. I'm going to be a bit controversial & say that birth plans can give us a false sense of control over something that is often beyond it.

I would think of a birth plan as a wish list rather than a plan.

As the babies haven't read the book and may have other ideas.

My ideal situation was a hands off water birth but instead I ended up stuck on a bed, hooked up to monitors and ultimately in theatre for a forceps delivery resulting in a 3rd degree tear.

But there were still aspects of my birth plan which were followed such as my DH being the one to tell me the sex of our child so I still think it is worth thinking about what you would like and also what you wouldn't like. But then just go with the flow. As it happens I didn't actually write a birth plan but just told my MW my wishes when I arrived and my DH also knew my thoughts in case I wasn't in a position to say so myself.

I'm not sure how much attention midwives pay to birth plans esp when Mum arrives in very advanced stages of labour. My feeling is that they are most useful for mothers and partners to think thought the birth and labour from start to finish and be prepared to answer questions they may be ask in an informed way eg physiological third stage, cutting cord etc. I made birth plans for both labours and they were great for DH and to consider possible outcomes

I did have a birth plan for both my births, but I threw both of them out of the window when it came down to it for different reasons.

With birth 1 this was because I needed an emergency c-section two weeks early.

With birth two this was because the birth was considered high risk due to the c-section. However, my midwife told me privately to follow the set procedures for that on the birth plan as I would have a much better chance of ditching the monitors etc if I made my wishes known in the throws of labour to a midwife than doing a lot of unnecessary fighting with consultants beforehand.

Flexibility and a 'wait and see' attitude was the key for me and in the end I was happy with both my births.

I had a birth plan but my labour experience couldn't have been more different. Beforehand I was v stubborn about what I wanted but I wish I had just gone with the flow. I won't use a birth plan next time x

I think birth plans are a good idea. It gave me an opportunity to really think about what decisions I may need to make during labour and discuss with DH aspects which I felt strongly about.

I have had 5 DC and each labour has been very different. I've had a pretty general birth plan with each but have been quite flexible with it.

for me as a DH it helped me understand what DW actually wanted to happen. It meant that I wasn't trying to ask what was required when it was all kicking off and also that I could intervene if things were not been done in the way my DW wanted.

I never bothered with my 1st but now I have some clear preferences written up based on my 1st experiences. This is to give my OH guidance more than anything as he totally crumbled the last time and was as much use as a chocolate teapot tbh!! He felt useless so I have given him clear instructions this time...dim the lights, make sure I drink, play nice music from Spotify etc. For the MW I have asked that they do not offer me pain relief unless I ask for it and use positive language!!! Absolutely no cutting of my under crackers (butchers) and immediate skin on skin unless baby is in danger. I was really poorly the last time and didn't get this for the first few hours of DS life :(

I didn't have one as I went into labour prematurely and hadn't written it yet. If I had, it probably would have involved a home water birth and other things which were completely out of the question in the event. So I'm quite glad I hadn't wasted too much time thinking about it.

None of the medical staff I came into contact with asked me about a birth plan, perhaps because there weren't really any choices for me to make.

Sadly in my experience, in my first labour the midwife lost my green book and birth plan and found it after I'd given birth.

The second time labour was so quick I didn't even have chance to get it out of my bag which was still in the car. It was a good one though!

I set out a birthplan, we planned it all out, it was lovely and neat and pretty.
When it came to giving birth it went out of the window.
It was my first birth so I didn't fully anticipate what to expect, so it is difficult to plan something you've never done before. The only difference is I tried to have an epidural, which I put in my birthplan I didn't want, but the pain was too much.

Funny thing is, we got me ready for the epidural and I had popped her out before we could give me a dosage lol

birth plans are great for opening up discussions between mum, dad and midwife.

Research your opinions. Dont be afraid to ask. Make informed choices.

chuck it out the window is my advice but my experiences are thankfully not the norm.

I wrote one for both births. It set out my wishes but finished with a big capital letters bold sentence that essentially said the only thing I absolutely wanted to happen was a healthy mum and baby at the end and that if my wishes had to be disregarded to achieve that, then so be it.

As to whether it was adhered to by the staff, it's a resounding yes from me. Both times I had written that if things started going wrong, I didn't want a running commentary on what was happening as I would panic, I just wanted to be told what I needed to do to help fix it. Turned out DC1 was back to back so they just got me up and walking around and into positions to help him turn. They told me all this afterwards but at the time, I just thought they were being helpful and nice - which they were. My midwives were ace!

I think people need to understand that childbirth is unpredictable and while you can set out some wishes and hopes in a birth plan, there should be an understanding that what you want to happen just might not be possible and that's nobody's fault, it's just life.