MN Bumpfest: Share your thoughts and experiences on birth plans – £50 voucher prize draw NOW CLOSED

[MichelleMumsnet]

In the run up to BumpFest (which we're VERY excited about - get your ticket now! ) we’re looking to get a better understanding of the experiences Mumsnetters have had around different issues surrounding childbirth - in particular, the infamous birth plan.

On a previous thread on Mumsnet it seemed as if many of you found that writing a birth plan was not as useful as you were led to believe for your first birth. What were your experiences with using your birth plan during labour? Did you follow it and find that everything went like clockwork, or did things end up more, er, ad-libbed, shall we say

Was your plan consulted by health care professionals during labour, or not? If not, was this due to the birth plan quickly becoming redundant, or did you feel that health care professionals simply ignored your birth plan? Did you feel that your needs and wishes were listened to during the birthing process? Did you find writing a birth plan a useful exercise in retrospect?

We know that every birth is unique, with or without a birth plan. We'd love to hear your experiences and thoughts, and if you have any birth plan wisdom to pass on (even if it's "chuck it out the window and get stuck into the drugs"), please do share.

Everyone who adds their thoughts to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £50 John Lewis voucher.

Thanks

MNHQ"

[northdownmummy]

My birth plan went totally out the window. But I think the real benefit to writing one is to make you focus on what labour will be like.
I thought it mattered to me but in hindsight, happy healthy baby.... All that matters

[lentilpot]

My birth went nothing like I planned, thanks to an induction and various other complications along the way, but thanks to my plan the baby was still delivered onto my chest and they delayed clamping the cord. I felt like I had a chance to discuss things at every stage, so although the plan ended up very different to the one I started with, I felt like I was involved in all the decisions.

[domesticslattern]

The word 'plan' is a misnomer. In all other aspects of life, plans are what you're going to do. Not so with birth!
My first was unread as I went into labour at 37 weeks (I had lovingly typed it up but not stuck it in my yellow notes!), my second was unread as I laboured so quickly. What was useful was that the plan had concentrated my mind on options which I might be offered during and after the birth, like the injection to deliver the placenta. I knew what to say. I think it's also useful for talking with partners.
Don't throw plans out of the window, but maybe someone cleverer than me can think of a better word for them.

[TheHouseatWhoCorner]

Writing a birth plan was only useful in that it prompted discussions with DP about what I would prefer.
The real thing turned out quite differently, but at least DP and I had talked about the options.

[PenguinsHatchedAnEgg]

My first birth plan was the sort my antenatal classes had encouraged me to write - all "I would like to avoid continuous monitoring" and "I would prefer to try gas and air first". It was useless.

My second birth was a BBA.

My third birth I think I got the birth plan thing sussed and found it very useful. It had relevant information about past complications and likely preferences (I like it dark and I won't be chatty!) and although it was about 2.5 pages, that was only because there were about three bullets for homebirth, about three for hospital, another few for third stage/after, etc. It wasn't long and prescriptive.

I often hear people on here say that you should think of a birth plan as a wish list. I think that's exactly the wrong use of them. Where they are useful is where they cover things that the team might otherwise not know or assume and have some preferences for every eventuality (even in a crash section, for example, you might state that the staff should remind your DH he is to go with the baby not stay with you if you need to be separated, or request skin to skin with your partner if the baby is well enough).

[NecesitoDormir]

I wrote extensive birth plans with both my DCs. Neither were consulted during the birth but they allowed me to consider my choices away from the stressful environment of labour. This meant that when I was asked questions in birth I knew what my preferences were without being swayed by healthcare professionals.

[JeffTheGodOfBiscuits]

My first birth (extensive labour, ecs) broke the only hard and fast rule of my birth plan - no ecs. You cannot plan, especially with your first, you can have preferences and hopes! And don't beat yourself up if it doesn't go how you wished - you will undoubtedly have done your best. Make sure your birthing partner knows these preferences and supports you against rail roading by hospital staff who haven't looked at your birth plan and just want you to hurry up!

[Dolallytats]

I wrote a lovely detailed birth plan with DC1-mobile, no pain relief etc and ended up laying on my back with an epidural.
DC2, I was bleeding very heavily throughout from 13 weeks and was in hospital for most of the pregnancy. We were unsure if we were actually going to get to bring a baby home, so I didn't do one.
DC3, I didn't bother because I thought 'what happens, happens' and hers was by far the worst birth....but she arrived safely and that's all we needed.

If I was to have another (not going to happen!!), all it would say is 'definitely give birth in hospital', because none of my children have been straightforward births.

[foodie12345]

I myself had researched birth and would have liked a water birth but had to have a c-section because baby was breech. Birth plans usually do not turn out as planned. You may need extra pain relief & an assisted birth if things go wrong. We put too much pressure on ourselves for everything to be perfect it does not make us weak or any less of a mother because our plans didn't go right! I think women need to educate themselves about every possible outcome for birth and don't pin their hopes on a particular kind of birth

[ShatnersBassoon]

My midwife really wanted me to go through the motions of writing a birth plan. I was happy to write 'Play it by ear' but that wasn't allowed. She asked me inane questions then did her best to scribble down my responses.

I don't know what the plan said in the end. I didn't see it again, and I don't think anyone asked me about it when I was in labour. I just played it by ear. Funny, that...

[geekaMaxima]

I found my birth 'plan' useful, but I was very clear with everyone (DP and midwives) that I looked on it as a list of preferences that may not end up applying after all. It included info for both birth centre delivery (as I was planning) and obstetric care (if I had to be transferred). For example, the birth centre section said yes to g&a and open mind to pethidine if I felt I needed it, minimal number of internal exams please, yes to delivering in water, leave cutting cord until placenta delivered if possible, no to managed 3rd stage as long as safe, etc. In event of needing transfer for ECS, would prefer spinal block if possible, to be catheterised after the anaesthetic had taken effect, etc.

Mostly, it was useful so my DP had something to refer to if/when we had to make any decisions and I was really not in a state to want to think. I did all my research and decision-making in advance, as much as I possibly could, to reduce the risk of being forced to make major decisions when in a vulnerable state.

In the end, I was lucky and had a straightforward water birth with g&a, no complications, exactly as the most optimistic version of my birth plan had hoped. And since the midwife had my birth plan there, she was able to move through things without me specifying what I wanted each time, which let me just stay in the zone and get on with things.

Maybe I was lucky in having fab midwives who read and respected my birth plan. But I think it also helped that the plan covered several eventualities so it didn't look like a rigid manual of how I expected things to go... which would be a bit daft for something as unpredictable as birth.

[CrewElla]

We didn't write anything down but my husband and I had talked loads about what type of birth I wanted. I definitely looked to him to speak for me when I found it hard to communicate whilst in labour.

If I were to get pregnant again I still wouldn't write down a plan but I would talk it over with my husband.

[CaptainSinker]

I didn't have a birth plan. I felt that due to medical monitoring I wouldn't have much control, so didn't want to be disappointed. I don't really have any regrets.

[starlight36]

First time around I wrote my birth plan alongside my DH and felt that it helped to focus both of our minds on what labour could entail and the potential choices we would face. A speedy labour meant that a number of our choices weren't relevant. Second time around we didn't bother to write a plan.

[Emrob86]

I had a birth plan just to figure out my own thoughts about my options and to have something my husband and my birth midwife could refer to in case I was in a state where I could not express my opinions.

[Marcipex]

Second time around I had a birth plan to avoid the confusion and chaos of the first time.
It was very simple. I didn't want gas and air as it had made me sick and disorientated the first time, and I didn't want a routine episiotomy.
The midwives treated it with giggling derision.
However, they did try to persuade me into a terrifying high plastic chair in the middle of a huge empty room. They said it was new and they wanted someone to try it.

[TheSporkforeatingkyriarchy]

I've had four births, four birth plans. With the first three, it was the full checklist recommended to write out everything, the latter two trying to fix the ones before. I found these long lists were rarely even brought out let alone used and they felt more like a barrier with everything and really 90%+ was standard practice these days if everything went well anyway.

With my fourth, I took a new approach and thought - what do I really need everyone who cares for me know. I listed specific medical concerns that needed paying to so it wasn't lost in the book and listed my most important needs, desires, and fears. They disagreed with one (and one tried to hug me into changing my mind in a room of students), but they respected it and it led to far better communication in brief bullet points that were really me (and showed my real emotions around this) than the long every detail lists I'd been told were needed/waste of time before.

[manfalou]

Don't think of a birth plan as an actual 'plan'. think of it as the way you would prefer things to happen but accept that you may have to go in another direction, and got to your next preferred choice of pain relief, position, place or whatever

I do think its important to make one, I think its REALLY important to have your birth partner on board and understanding what you'd like to happen. When I got on the gas and air with my first I was so tired I zoned out and was almost asleep with the piece in my mouth for half hour. OH knew I wanted to go in the birth pool but because I had my eyes closed and was 'coping well' the midwife wouldn't run the pool. OH asked 3 times and needed up telling them if they didn't do it he would. They did, I got in the birth pool, I went from 4cm to 10 cm in 3 hours (baring in mind that Id already been having contractions for 28 hours) and that is where I gave birth to my little boy. If he hadn't had known what I wanted to happen and that it was possible I wouldn't have had that experience and its something I will always be grateful for.

[ToddlerTyrannyZen]

I didn't get to write a birth plan because myy midwife never got to talk to me about one between the bouts of vomitting I was doing when I went to see her but at the end of the day this worked for me as I found I went in without any 'extra' expectations and as such I could let things flow naturally without worrying about how things weren't going according to my 'plan'.

I'd discussed labour with DH countless times and having him there knowing he knew exactly what I needed from him also helped a lot.

[Iamnotanugget]

I think there are to many variables that you don't get told about before the birth to write a detailed birth plan. My first plan simply consisted of wanting dh there, not wanting an epidural unless it was going to be a very long labour (it was) and for the baby to be cleaned before being given to me. This worked because it has low expectations and is easily achievable.
For my third birth I was told by my consultant during pregnancy that something certainly couldn't be done during labour but when labour started a different consultant said it could. A birth plan should only reflect what you can actually control such as music, birth partner and who tells you the sex of the child. Anything else can lead to disappointment.

[chewbecca47]

I've written a very detailed birth plan as I'm under consultant-led care and wish to regain some control over my imminent birth, as the decision to have anything other than a hospital birth was taken out of my hands, therefore I want to try and make the event as much ours (myself and partner) as possible. I'm very keen to secure my "magic hour" with my baby following her arrival, and have put this in my birth plan as a key feature (I tried to verbalise this to a hospital midwife and she insisted that they would take the baby and do their essential Apgar tests first, though I was told by an NCT Practitioner that I can insist on my magic hour even before they weigh my baby or anything else, so I hope stating my intent for the 'magic hour' in my birth plan will help communicate this in a solid way, as they aren't listening to me so far!). I think this is the main purpose of a birth plan; to clearly communicate your wishes for the birth to all those involved at all stages of the process, I just hope that it is followed and is not a piecemeal gesture. This is my first child so this remains to be seen, and will inform my future use of birth plans.

[elociN]

I don't really see the point of birth plans and all my friends who had one never managed to follow it, so I did not have one in place for any of my births. My first son was stillborn at 33 weeks, so I didn't really have time to even get a birth plan in place, but with my other 4 children I was induced at 37+weeks and I found that going with the flow was a better option, this way I didn't expect anything specific to happen and wasn't disappointed. I had a very straight forward labour with my second, back to back presentation and cord around the neck with my third, PPH with my fourth and a lot of doctors in the room just in case with my fifth.
I think it's useful to have an idea about pain releif available (I did not want an epidural) but apart from that I felt much happier not having a birth plan.

[rachaelsit]

I didn't do one, I expect it would have been a waste of time given how it went. (8 weeks Early waters breaking, no contractions, 36 hours later gave birth assisted and episiotomy)
With my next one I won't do one either, but both my partner and I will talk to ensure we are comfortable with what could happen.

[scarletoconnor]

I didn't really have a birth plan I didn't ever get offered help with writing one or encouraged to have one by my trust.
I knew early on I wanted an epidural for pain relief as I've had morphine before and felt too out of control with it.
A few weeks before I went into labour I was with my best friend when she had a stillbirth and to be honest it made me realise I'd do whatever it took to get my baby out safely, whether it was my 'ideal' birth or not.
I'm a strong believer in the fact we get pregnant to have a baby, not to experience labour, labour is no more than a means to an ends.

I'm not a fan of rigid birth plans even now, I got into quite a heated conversation with one of my friends who was adamant she wanted a natural home delivery for her breach baby and was adamant if she got on all 4's he'd come out fine. (he didn't she was rushed in for emcs and very distressed baby)
She was adamant she wanted her 'perfect' experience, but tbh when you've sat and held your best friend when she's just had a stillbirth, pregnant women going against medical advice in order to get the experience they want sounds pretty self centered.

[NaiceAm]

My birth plan was merely that my husband was liable to faint if he saw a needle going into me. I was too "in the zone" to have been able to point this out verbally during my labour but as everyone read it, a midwife was able to plonk him on a chair at the critical moment as he turned a funny colour and started swaying!