Share your top tips for a slightly less stressed existence with Aviva and you could win £250 high street vouchers NOW CLOSED

[AnnMumsnet]

We have been asked by the team at Aviva to find out your top tips for a slightly less stressed life - please share them on this thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £250 of high street vouchers.

Aviva say "Being a parent is an amazing experience, but it doesn't come without its challenges – particularly in today's hectic world. In fact, our Health Check UK research reveals that one in five of us are suffering from stress as we struggle to juggle our work life balance. And a similar amount says that family pressures are contributing to their anxiety. With a high proportion of women saying that they've suffered from stress, we want to help Mumsnetters take steps to tackle the issue.

As the real family experts, we want you to be involved too. What better way to do this than to share your tips and experiences with other Mumsnetters. We look forward to hearing your suggestions".

Share on this thread your tops tips - what is the small change you think you could make which could lead to a big health benefit for you? Or what do you wish your DH/DP or parents would do to reduce stress in their life? How stressed do you feel on a daily basis? What are the key triggers for stress and how do you manage them?

This is part of a campaign Aviva are launching this week where they are working with 10 MN bloggers to give them tips from their experts to help reduce their stress levels - Aviva say "armed with our experts ranging from a doctor, nutritionist and Premiership Rugby coach we want to help the bloggers achieve a healthier and less stressed life. The bloggers will be getting personalised health tips to try for 2 weeks - aiming to commit to at least one for a lifetime".

Here are the first posts from the bloggers:

House of three monkeys

Ordinary Cycling Girl

mummetamorphosis

Mrs England

To Become Mum

Barktime

Johnson Babies

The Beesley Buzz

Mummy is a gadget geek

Expression and Confession

If you have a question about private healthcare and insurance please ask the Aviva expert here.

Add your comment on this thread and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one MNer will win a £250 high street voucher. Closing date: 19th May.

Thanks
MNHQ
Please note your anonymous comments may well be used by Aviva in a booklet, on their website or on their social media channels. Please only add a comment if you're happy for your comment to be used by them.

I've got three lively boys and I so often feel like life is totally out if control! Like many others I like to be organised so my top tips are:

Write everything down! I have a weekly diary planner on my desk so I use this to keep track of kids activities, what they need for school each day such as PE kit, birthdays, people I need to phone, things I need to urgently buy like cards and presents.

I try it get up mega early so I can get showered and make up done by the time the kids are up! Such a small thing but it makes me feel human! I also try to throw a wash in and feed the cats before the kids are up

And I try to do packed lunches the night before, and have everyone's clothes ready - mine too! It sometimes feels like lots of work in advance but it definitely takes the stress out of the mornings which is my problem time!
Helen

One of the things I have come to realise since the dc are at school is that the motto 'Get things done not perfect' makes for a much easier and less stressful life and nobody ever notices the difference.

I also keep a notebook and pen by the side of my bed so that if I realise I am awake and churning things over I can write stuff down and then deal with it the next day rather than staying awake trying to work it all out and/or remember it.

I have a demanding job with lots of travel but I try and make sure I spend a significant amount of time with my toddler so yes, I am a bit stressed.

I have to force myself not to rush things during my home times and actually take time to enjoy them conciously. This weekend DD helped me plant tomato plants in a grobag and fill the hanging basket with flowers. She was so delicate and careful with the plants, it was lovely to watch.

So for me, the key to being less stressed is taking time to smell (and plant) the flowers, and just slowing down.

You can't control stress but you can learn to change your reaction to it. Once you surrender trying to control it you are half way there.

Exercise, exercise and wine! I run, cycle and do Pilates - it is great for clearing my head, getting some space and giving me that endorphin rush. I also sleep better after I've been exercising. And wine, just because, well, wine...

I'm very stressed most of the time - 3ds, husband, pets, full time demanding job, family to support, house to maintain... Most of the time I feel I do a rubbish job at work, rubbish job as a mother, rubbish at keeping the house maintained, and don't even get me started on how I look...

One small change I was lucky enough to make was that my employer agreed to compressed hours - I work a full time week in 4 days, and Friday is mine to spend with the children. I so look forward to that day and feel like I am more involved in their lives. I love the school run, then I go to a baby group - it's my tonic to get through the rest of the week!

Also, if I manage to work from home, I always fit the dog walk into the middle of the day - fresh air and exercise for stress-busting, and one less job for the evening!

Yes, far too much stress in today's life, and it's all too easy to let it control and rule you...(me)...Here are a few of the things that I find helpful to de-stress:

• to take time out to stop occasionally for a really indulgent coffee in a quiet corner of a good coffee shop, preferably with a just-bought newspaper...
• to do a bit of gardening or weeding. It's physical, it's in the fresh air, and the results are visibly encouraging too.
• to have a nice long soaking hot bath with something very nice in it, like Dead Sea salts
• to have groceries delivered, especially by a very good company I've recently discovered (whose name begins with O) - They are a pleasure to shop with, and it's much nicer than pushing a trolley round the stressful, crowded aisles of our local supermarket (whose name doesn't begin with O, but whose prices are matched by the aforementioned!)
• to try to find (and then make the time to get absorbed in) a truly good book
• to take deep breaths and practise mindfulness, when all else fails.

Fresh air & doing something I enjoyed pre-baby are great for de-stressing. For me, it's getting out on my horse while hubby looks after baby

Share on this thread your tops tips - what is the small change you think you could make which could lead to a big health benefit for you?

Exercise - I feel so much more relaxed and less stressed when I do 30 minutes exercise a day.

Or what do you wish your DH/DP or parents would do to reduce stress in their life?

Get a new job. Seriously, he works with someone who adds a bucket load of unnecessary stress.

How stressed do you feel on a daily basis? What are the key triggers for stress and how do you manage them?

I am stressed a lot of the time - key triggers are things not falling into place when I want them to. Working full time, studying and having part time jobs all add to the stress.

I admit to managing stress with a glass of wine.

I've joined a gym and this will lead to a big health benefit for me as I need to lose weight following the birth of my second child. By joining with a monthly fee I have to go as it's only financially beneficial when I go more than twice a week. I reduce stress in my life by planning ahead as far as possible; with lists of what I need to do and when, packing lists prepared for holidays, spreadsheets for finances and apps which make daily life easier to manage ie not having to log on to computer to do banking and online grocery shopping. My daily stresses are caused by too much to do; at home, paperwork and thus a feeling of things being out of control. I am really trying to keep on top of things on a daily basis so that they don't build up. We now have things we have to do every night before going to bed which my husband helps me with; such as emptying nappy bins, unloading the dishwasher and washing machine , putting wellies ready for nursery... That way we start the morning off as a fresh for that day rather than already being behind with the previous days jobs. I've found this really helps. I no longer feel like I'm behind but actually in front each day. By going to the gym I keep stress away and have the benefit of being healthier. Limited time is what causes me the most stress so I'm always looking for ways to do things more efficiently. We've recently changed banks and one of the reasons is so that we can pay money in etc close to our workplaces rather than just at home - things I can do on a lunch break on the days I work save me precious time on my days at home with my children.

I have two toddlers and I've found double beds in their bedrooms make a massive difference - they never come to our bed, I go to them and if I doze off there at least we can all get a good sleep.

Sleep equals happier more efficient mum.

I have a lot of stress factors in my life - two kids - one toddler, one hormonal pre-teen - third on the way, work full time, partner travels abroad for work... I used to get a lot of migraines caused by stress (up to 15 a month at their worst). I saw a health psychologist on the NHS and they really helped me change my attitude to things - now I am a lot less stressed than before, and get on average a migraine every month or two.

The biggest thing I learnt was that thoughts are just a string of words - you don't have to take them seriously. So, before I was getting stressed thinking 'how will I cope?' and imagining the future. Now I think 'is that a useful thought?' and try and concentrate on the here and now - focus on what I am doing and bring myself back to the present. Life is much easier if you just focus on the task in hand. If I feel anxious I just accept that that is the way I feel at the minute - I can't do anything about it, or think it away, but I can concentrate on doing what is important to me.

I never take anger or resentment to bed with me. I spend 10-15 minutes before going to sleep meditating/praying in order to clear my mind.

I am pretty stressed at the moment as we are inbetween moving 100 miles and my husband changing jobs. That in itself brings a whole host of problems and challenges that leave me feeling stressed and out of control - selling and buying a house, new school place etc...
What would help me is if i could have two hours of time for me each week to refresh with noone dictating what I should or could be doing in that time. It doesn't happen at the moment and if it would help me relax.

Walk to clear your head.
After school run when you returning home go for a walk... the day is still young and I am sure you can find 15 spare minutes.
It works for me... to the point... it allows me to plan my day in my head, get so much needed fresh air and just chill for a short while.

Do something creative.. Research shows the left brain activity that is creative is good if you're stressed and doing lots of right brain thinking. Don't let the phrase 'but I'm not very good at...' stop you. Try the following :
Doodling
Coloring in patterns.. Mosaic books etc
Paint by numbers
Crochet (brilliant YouTube tutorials available to help you start from scratch)
Writing poetry
Playing an instrument
Making cards
Marbling paper
Oil pastels.. Just make patterns or blend blocks of colour
Copying pictures with a pencil
Sewing
Jewelery making
Also.. Learn a good progressive relaxation technique and do it daily.. Again, YouTube has lots

I read somewhere that reading for at least 6 minutes before bed lowers cortisol by at least 38%.

Has to be a book not electronic and something with a plot!

In our household, the daily struggle to come up with, source ingredients for and prepare wholesome, varied meals suitable for the whole family was a big stressor. That was until I began meal planning.

On Saturdays, we figure out everyone's schedule for the week, and whether a quick or fiddly meal will suit on a day by day basis. We then pick suitable, healthy meals and make a shopping list according to what's needed. That little investment of time has saved us lots of money, lots of daily stress and many rows! We eat better than ever to boot.

For me, the key to managing stress is learning to accept the way you're wired and then finding a coping technique. For me that means exercise is key. It gives my mind a release from my v.stressful job and endless lists of things to do. I am trying to increase from 2 x a week to 3. This is my small change.

My second coping technique is to accept that things don't always go according to plan, take a deep breath and ask myself does it really matter (eg: when stuck in traffic, 4 yo not getting shoes on and making us late or no wifi so can't access emails). Regaining perspective does reduce stress but this is not always easy.

'what is the small change you think you could make which could lead to a big health benefit for you?' -
I've just done it - I gave up coffee 24 hours ago. Coffee gives me reflux, which gives me an unpleasant taste in my mouth, makes me cough, and affects my voice. Because I was drinking lots of coffee, I wasn't drinking enough other things, and was getting quite dehydrated during the day. I'm hoping to change all that now.

'What do you wish your DH would do to reduce stress in their life?'
I really admire my dh's approach to stress. He is now pretty strict about managing it because it's just not worth the fallout from getting really stressed. A big step for him has been practising Mindfulness - I approved in a general way but couldn't really see how it would help, but the difference has been truly amazing in how DH deals with stressors.

'How stressed do you feel on a daily basis?'
As my son has got older, my stress has changed - I'm now less stressed about 'getting things done' but I worry more about his future and his health. I try to manage that by aiming to spend time just hanging out with him as he is now, rather than living in the future.

I think recognizing when I am particularly knackered and just not trying to do much at those times is helpful. Now I just need to work out how to avoid getting into that state in the first place...

My best way of combating stress is to have some time alone and write down how I'm feeling. I've done this since I was a kid and it definitely helps me to evaluate a situation and generally calm down.

We are waging war over clutter and disorganisation after realising how stressed always trying to find things makes us. Having things organised leads to a calm household and saves dashing about at the last minute looking for a piece of paperwork or clothing

I find I am much less stressed if I plan ahead and am very organised. I am getting better at saying "no" when people want me to do things at the last minute. I have set days for doing particular jobs and activities and keep lists for everything.

I am now working at going to bed at a reasonable hour as I am more easily stressed when I am tired and the more stressed I get the more tired I feel.

Definitely being more organised, lists for everyone but they have to be realistic as there's no point setting yourself up to fail! Even little children can have a visual list of things to do and get as much done as you can he night before really helps those early mornings