My 11 year old DD has her mobile phone with her most days - I say most because if it isn't fully charged, if it doesn't have money on it or if she leaves it on the kitchen table then it is no good to me!
DH is able to tell me where she is via internet stalking latitude but it is being phased out apparently to be taken over by google plus in the future provided phone is on of course and not been thrown in a bin somewhere by her kidnapper. dh also has access and alerts to her emails.
Having seen me in bits when she has been late a couple of times my DD is now pretty good at updating me or DH as to where she is/how far away/how long she'll be. She makes her way to and from school by bus and/or tube/tram and can be trusted to run errands or nip into town for a purchase.
I live in Germany where kids aged 7 make their own way to and from school and are expected to be independent. This is the norm even in the city and it doesn't make them safer but nor does it make them victims.
As to keeping her safe vs freedom essentially she knows about actively avoiding any situations which might become tricky eg drunk people on platforms/gangs/ and to 'stay under the radar'. Having had an unfortunate incident in a shop in broad daylight when I was metres away thank God she is aware that her location/attire/confidence/actions are not going to be foolproof against a determined felon or an opportunity thief/molester/flasher.
In other words if someone is going to commit a crime, knowing where she is will only help protect her if I can get to her first. Even then that won't protect the next child.
She knows not to take shortcuts, she knows to avoid lone alleys etc
she knows an adult should not need to ask for help from a child rather than from another adult. She knows about internet safety.
As the age of consent is lower here -14 - she knows already about her body being hers and her rights to say no to anything which makes her uncomfortable. She has been told to listen to any alarm bells/bad vibes re a person or situation. I will not tell her what to wear or do in future but she is aware of the dangers of alcohol/drugs and being left vulnerable. But as I said all this knowledge and more can't protect you from the random thug or pervert unless you are chained to your parents - not healthy.
CCTV/mobiles/technology make us a little more careless/a little more trusting perhaps but nor is there a paedophile lurking on every corner nor are dangers always strangers. So you have to protect as best you can without wrapping in cotton wool.
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Our ability to keep in touch with where our children are and what they are doing is greater than ever because of mobiles, but as we relax our hold on them and allow them to have greater independence how can we ensure that they stay safe and make the right decisions?
You make sure they make informed decisions. You give them the knowledge to protect themselves eg internet safety, assertiveness training, self defence. You make them aware of risks so they can assess situations whilst being aware this does not make them bullet proof. You set times/routines/trust whereby they call back/report in/tell you their plans. You cannot ensure safety but you can minimise risk
At what age do you allow your children more freedom and independence and what parameters do you set them?
Freedom to travel independently - here aged 9 (still two years later than everyone else in Germany but that's the English in me).Parameters = routes/times eg not past 6pm in Winter
Freedom to chat room/surf etc - aged 11 for youtube, pixie hollow BUT we do not allow facebook, twitter, moviestarplanet etc and won't until she is 15/16.
Freedom to play/walk/go out alone - between 10 and 11 pending activity, company and my distance from it eg she can go into town with a friend for an hour, cinema or playground as long as I know start-end times
What discussions do you have with your children about safe behaviour, safe people and safe places to encourage them to keep safe when they are away from the home?
Sex ed from an early age, still think it is done too late in UK. Respect for self and others and body boundaries i.e their body, their feelings, rights to say no instilled early. Have discussed at length dangers of roads, rivers, strangers and peer pressure. Also drugs, alcohol, bullying and sex abuse.
but at the end of the day you can only do so much - being Chas Tenenbaum isn't going to help your child. Nor is yearning for your own childhood and harking back to open door days where you could be a 'free range child'.
Fact: there have always been dangers.
It seems to me the media seem to publicise many dangers these days.
Those dangers can be physical/nature eg recent children falling into rivers or people eg abduction and kids should be warned of dangers of both.
As a child in the 70s I had more freedom than I give my kids eg I used to be allowed to play outside in the woods, park, playground on hot summer nights til 9pm.
Opinion: the ability to access porn/like-minded individuals/the ability to groom via internet means the risks re people are more real these days than my own childhood. Potentially this is one reason why I am more protective plus easier access to alcopops, drugs etc Alternatively I have been indoctrinated by the British press.
Solution: safety in numbers, compromise, communication -whether electronically or face-to-face.
This post is worth more than two quid btw