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MNHQ

NOW CLOSED: Is it still a home if you don't own it? Make your voice heard and discuss this topic with Barclays - £150 John Lewis voucher up for grabs

297 replies

AnnMumsnet · 26/11/2012 16:54

Hello - you may have seen that this week Barclays have a big campaign to get people talking about home buying and money topics.

Yesterday we discussed "When are you too old to ask your parents for financial help?".

As stated before - the team at Barclays say "We want to know what Mumsnetters think about home buying and money dilemmas.

So our second question is "Is it still a home if you don't own it?""

Please share your thoughts on this thread - there are no right or wrong answers and the question will mean different things to different MNers.

Add your thoughts below and you'll be entered into a prize draw where one winner will get a £150 John Lewis voucher.

Look out for one final thread on Thursday where we'll be asking one more question.

Thanks MNHQ

PS Please note your comments along with your MN name may be used on the Barclays pages on Mumsnet and elsewhere.

OP posts:
SantaJaxx · 04/12/2012 18:39

I've lived in rented properties since I left home 18 years ago. A few have felt like home, others not so much. It totally depends on the landlord really. One house we lived the landlord did weekly inspections! Xmas Shock We moved out when our tenancy ended. Our last house we lived in for 6 years, even though it was falling down around us, had no central heating, double glazing and was riddled with damp it still felt like home. Mainly because the landlord left us alone.

We live in a HA house now, and this does feel more like "ours" than any of the others have, because it's a secure tenancy and we can decorate how we like. I would love to be able to own our own home.

Bicnod · 04/12/2012 19:06

I think it should feel like a home, whether or not you own it, but I have to admit that none of the rental properties I lived in (and there were MANY) prior to getting on the property ladder felt as much like home as mine and DH's first flat and now our first house.

The trouble with renting is that you are at the mercy of the landlord/lady. If you get a reasonable one, great. If you get a total arsehole you are, essentially, screwed.

JugglingWithPossibilities · 04/12/2012 19:09

Just thinking it's only those of us who've not known what it's like to be homeless who'd say that home is not a roof over your head, or the bricks and mortar.

Sure, I agree, family is what matters most to most of us, and that's great.
But nearly every night at bedtime I try to remember to be thankful for my safe place to sleep and the roof over my head and over the sleeping heads of my children. That's something that not everyone has.
It gives me some much needed perspective.

Jux · 04/12/2012 19:16

I lived in rented properties for years until I got married (dh already owned his flat, so we lived there). I always felt like they were my home. Where I lived, where my stuff was.

We now own our house and rent out a flat. The flat is our tenant's home. We don't wander in and out, we ask if we can come in to get the gas things checked, etc. She asks if she can put up a shelf or paint something. We've never said no to her, and it's unlikely we would. It's unlikely she'd ask anything unreasonable.

She is a great tenant, so we've not increased the rent for 2 years (she's been here 3) as we'd like to hang onto her as long as possible. She's been in arrears, but she told us the instant she knew she would have problems, so we didn't worry about it. She's got herself up to date again, and I hope she won't worry too greatly if she has to fall behind again.

I hope she thinks of it as her home.

expatinscotland · 04/12/2012 19:20

'Just thinking it's only those of us who've not known what it's like to be homeless who'd say that home is not a roof over your head, or the bricks and mortar.'

I've been homeless and still feel it's completely dependent on the landlord if you are in private sector rental.

PetiteRaleuse · 04/12/2012 19:20

I feel perfectly at home in my rented house. I intend buying much later in life when we have decided where to retire to. I have always rented, and always felt at home.

missorinoco · 04/12/2012 19:28

Yes, very much so. I rented for years before I bought, both shared acommodation with friends and then alone. My flat/house was my home. The only one I didn't consider to be my home I moved out of almost as soon as I moved in. Ants in the cupboards and a kitchen I would never want to cook in were not for me.

I'm surprised at the question, and cynically wonder whether it will be used by banks to suggest it isn't a home unless you own it.

Seeing as technically the bank owns my house it wouldn't be a home either under that criteria.

I haven't read the thread, apologies if this has beendone to death already.

crochetcircle · 04/12/2012 19:29

I get very attached to places the longer I stay there the harder it is to leave. Before I had children I would love specific spots in my homes with views into the garden or some pretty brickwork.

Home is wherever you are, and more recently for me wherever my family is. Whether you rent or buy is irrelevant. I think I've been lucky with landlords however, who've been lovely generally so I've always felt secure.

Vixjax · 04/12/2012 19:32

Of course- a home is the people in it and whatever you make it.

mamij · 04/12/2012 19:35

We rented for a while, and to be honest it never really felt "home". Sure, we had all our possessions and bits and pieces, and we obviously loved there, but we couldn't paint or decorate it, or even put nails into the wall to hang up photos. My DH called me silly as it was obviously our home.

When repairs needed to be done, it felt like the landlord was doing us a favour to do something. Sometimes it took days for the landlord to reply. We didn't take as much pride in the property as much as I would have liked.

Ivytheterrible · 04/12/2012 20:00

It is definitely "a home" as it is the place my family and I come home to each night.

I don't class it as "mine" as in owned by us though. When asked questions about home ownership I say it's mortgaged or "rented from the bank!" I won't consider it fully ours until the last mortgage payment is made in hhhhhhmmm 2030!

UnbridledPositivity · 04/12/2012 20:11

To be honest, I keep seeing the thread title as I check active convos, and each time I feel a little more insulted.

Of course a rented house can be a home, too. What a bloody ridiculous question. Some people never own their house. Some people spend decades in a council house. 'Home' isn't about owning the place. It's a state of mind which can be brought about through e. g. planting things, time passing, significant life events occurring, and people.

(I do agree though that some landlords make it difficult.)

stubbornstains · 04/12/2012 20:15

A bank claiming they want to initiate an impartial debate on home owning versus renting is like a chocolate manufacturer asking people if they feel they deserve a little treat at the end of the day*.

I suspect they are looking for a certain...shall we say..slant in the responses here? Which they will presumably then use for marketing purposes.

I think that if Barclays actually did spark a serious national debate about mortgages versus renting they would come to regret it.

  • My mind went utterly blank here, and I could not think of a decent analogy at all. Can anyone else do any better?
HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly · 04/12/2012 20:22

Grin no, I think yours is spot on.

Snog · 04/12/2012 20:29

Imo a home is anywhere you feel at home - the contractual arrangements are not the primary factor - it's more of an emotional thing

melliebobs · 04/12/2012 20:34

This is a hard one. Where me and dh husband lived previously was rented. Even though this is where we slept and where my family was I didn't call it home. But i think that was more to the fact that we always new it was a temporary thing (1-2 yrs max), i was never comfortable there and we never made the effort to make it 'ours' so i think that wud have helped. Now we own our home (with a mortgage) and it's more permanent. Again our family is here but we've made it our place.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/12/2012 20:39

I was brought up in rented houses as most working classs people were until the eighties. All our homes were homes of course they were. Private landlords can be an issue. The last place dh and I rented was ok but the ll was abroad for work and clearly saw the place as her house so we had to keep her cleaner, free of charge, great we thought... until we started getting letters from agent about people staying, windows open during the day and smoking in the flat... we bought a flat within 6 months.

Renting again wouldn't bother me. whereever I lay my hat etc.Smile

lorisparkle · 04/12/2012 21:32

I have always felt that the place I live with my family is my home. Having lived as a student, renting, with other students that was not really 'my home'. However my DH and I rented together before we married and that was home. We now live in a house which we share ownership with the bank (ie a mortgage) and that is definately a home but we don't fully own it.

BabylonElf · 04/12/2012 21:37

We rent, have done for the last 5.5 years - in that time we've had short hold assured tenancies of 6 months, and 4 different addresses.

Where we live now, we have a long let tenancy - we've been here for 3.5 years and are signed up for another 3 minimum. It is home, but none of the others were.

We've met our actual landlord twice in the last 3 years, but they're only at the end of a phone if we need them.

D is a plumber/joiner and any little Jobs that need doing, he just does them. Bigger jobs, we ring the letting agent and get agreement, then DH invoices agents and we're all happy :)

I the last month, I have reprinted every room in the house at atonal cost of £46. It all looks clean and nice and I'm happy.

The DCs love it here, and yes, if LL would sell it, we'd snap his arm off for it!!

Wallison · 04/12/2012 21:51

^Seeing as technically the bank owns my house

People keep saying this and it's simply not true. If you've got a mortgage, you still own your house. The bank doesn't own it and you are not renting. You have borrowed money off the bank to buy the house and used your house as security for that. But the house is still yours. Just as a car would be yours if you used your house for security for a loan to pay for that.

Vijac · 04/12/2012 22:14

Wherever you live with your family is of course home. However, I have to say that I feel more homely in an owned house than a rented one as it feels more permanent and I can make it how I want it without feeling that I'm wasting my money/breaking the rules.

VerySmallSqueak · 04/12/2012 22:22

Of course a rented house is still a home.
Home is a feeling not an object.

chez2708 · 04/12/2012 22:25

Yes, a home is what u make of it Envy

ArbitraryUsername · 04/12/2012 22:26

Whatever the slant Barclays might have been hoping for, I think the main thing to come out of the thread is not that home ownership is awesomer but that insecure private renting is often so bad a deal that it feels like a better deal to have to fix your own bloody boiler. No one wants to pay for a new boiler, surely.

Mydelilah · 04/12/2012 23:44

We bought our house earlier this year after many years of renting in different countries (moving with work). For me home is where my family is, and where I feel secure/safe/comfortable and it doesn't matter if rented or owning.

Even owning now doesn't mean i'm fully settled - We're still not in our 'forever home' though as we've bought the current place because its cheaper to have a mortgage than pay rent and new place is practical for work/nursery etc. Due to crazy prices in our area (London) we had to make big compromises to fit the budget. I dream of leaving central London for a beautiful house with a garden and for this reason all the decorating we are doing feels like I'm doing it with an eye on resale in a few years, and not just for me.

I guess in conclusion owning doesn't automatically mean home for life either...