Mums of kids with ASD/ PDA doing GCSE's let's get through this together..

[funkystars123]

Hi,

My daughter is doing her GCSE's next year... mocks in a week..

The anxiety is building! We are in full on demand avoidance but she wants to do brilliantly in them all...

My son has ADHD and ASD and did his a couple of yrs ago.. was a complex post covid shit show but he passed English and Maths and now is doing ok on a BTEC so I know GCSE's are not the only way...

Anyone else around who wants to handold/ chat about this journey?

Hi, I’m a bit late to this but my daughter has ADHD. She is in Year 11. We stopped medication at beginning of year 11 as she had no appetite & other symptoms. We just did mocks and maths & science were a disaster. She said she couldn’t concentrate & rushed the paper to just get out of exam. I’m now wondering if meds may be a good idea just to get her through exams. She’s creative so arts subjects & English are ok but most courses still need 4 in maths. So hard as meds are not without side effects but also want to give her best chance I can. She did mention that the meds previously made a massive difference to her focus & ability to block everything else out. Despite reading about all the benefits of ADHD meds I still am reluctant to give them to her but results floored me a bit & want to do my best for her.

Just checking in... how's everyone doing?

We are ok... she's incredibly anxious and convinced it's all going to go wrong but she is working hard and I think she's going to be fine... we just need to get through the next few week's.

We are also stressing about going to sixth form... it's a missive change but it will be ok but it's a massive set of demands!

New to the thread, but am probably more nervous than DD that they are 3 weeks away. DD16 is taking them a year late, has left senior school twice and has been home tutored for the past 8 months due to ASD, ADHD and chronic fatigue. She's doing 5 GCSEs and desperate to finally sit them after all the upheaval she's been through the last few years. She's only just sat some mocks four weeks before the event and still learning the syllabus for some. We're planning on continuing the tutoring for 2 A Levels rather than college. I hasten to add, she has tutors rather than me home educating her! BTW @QuickKoala DD is on methylphenidate 10mgs twice a day and they do the job for her without noticeable side effects.

Hi all. New to this thread but have posted separately about the multiple issues I've had with DS1, 16 years/ year 11 and about to take his GCSEs. He has ADHD and was permanently excluded from school in year 10 so missed loads of school thanks to a failed managed move and loads of schools refusing to take him. He has been at his current school since March 2023 - his behaviour is still poor but the school have given him a lot of leeway. He did no revision for his mocks so scrapped by with 4s and 5s and a 3 in Geography. He is predicted mostly 5, two 6s and a 7 in French. He refuses to do any revision by himself so I've hired tutors pretty much every day to work with him but we have a massive argument every day about why he has to study and he keeps them waiting 10-15 minutes before joining each session. He refuses to go to school on time. Will finally get up around 8.40 and probably arrives there and hour later so misses registration and the first lesson. Today we had a screaming row, with him telling me to f**k off, which he does multiple times a day. I honestly feel at breaking point. Should I just let him fail? He has zero motivation, says he hates school and doesn't see the relevance of learning. He is horrible to me and his brother. He stays up late every night and refuses to go to bed which is why he can't get up in the morning. He vapes constantly including in his room and refuses to stop despite me asking him multiple times. He also smokes cannabis fairly regularly. Someone please tell me what I should do as I feel like I can't cope anymore. I have a full time job and 2 other kids to care for including a 5 year old. His dad is an abusive narcissist so pointless asking him.

DS is still struggling… he had a good 3 weeks after Easter holidays. Then on Friday comes home, slamming doors a such, told me he is done with school after an incident with a teacher. Been okay all weekend, this morning I got some attitude. He’s got a 1on1 with his Sen lead tomorrow, to talk through things. He gets on really well with her.. my mum told me all days he’s been a misery. He’s been getting ready for bed and starts banging around, I asked him what was wrong and he says because he can. I asked him earlier if he’s done revision, looked at me like I was crazy. Even though he has done some the last 4 days and he does quite a bit at school in place of his PE lessons and in his actual lessons the teachers have been helping them (do3snt do PE). I’m not pushing him to revise, I don’t want to overwhelm him, just giving gentle reminders. But tbf he did it off his own back over the weekend. At this point I’m just tryna get him through his GCSEs, so he actually sits them, I know some he will excel at, but others like maths and science he needs a little help.

Hi all,

How's it going?

We are ok I think... last week went ok but she's very anxious about today/ this week.

It's a big week but every day is a step nearer them ending!

Hi- just found this thread, it is a relief to find others in the same boat. DD is ASD and highly anxious, sertraline and lots of special measures. She has 1:1 LSA support and breaks etc. can’t believe we have actually made it to exams with her still in school as it was tough and go through year 9/10.
I am worried sick though- I think she will scrape enough to get to college but it’s just so disappointing when they are capable and bright but just have missed so much school because of anxiety. She is very reclusive with only a couple of friends too, so no idea what the next stage will bring.

Anyway- I read one of the previous posters comments about their daughter only just realising that revision was important and I think we are at that stage. She has done some but not nearly enough and I think it hit home for her today in her first computer science paper. Am just so worried about getting through the rest of all the science and English exams without her just giving up.

Hope everyone is bearing up x

This sounds familiar - we haven’t wanted to push either as dd would just shut down- she doesn’t do PE or PSHE so had revision time in those lessons but it’s just so hard to
know what is the right thing to do. Hope you are getting through ok x

My child’s school expect them to be in everyday even if when they don’t have exams, so no study leave at all. This is causing huge anxiety, she won’t go in on days when she has no exams, huge meltdowns, so I am calling in sick for her.
I have to do what works for us, I just have to get her through the exams.
I hope everyone’s kids are coping the best they can.

The lack of study leave during the bulk of the exams seems insane - ours doesn't start til after half term and we only have six left after that point! I have kept DD home before afternoon exams and picking her up after morning ones if that is what she wants, time for either resting or a bit of revision before the next one. Luckily she has an EHCP and they have to give her reasonable adjustments so it has not been questioned yet. Her LSAs have been amazingly supportive, but the SENCo only so-so in understanding

I'm glad you're able to make it work for your DD, @Myotis. My DC's school doesn't have study leave but at the moment they just seem to do revision. DS is chronically ill, so I sometimes collect him or don't send him in, but I've been leaving him there if I can as he seems to revise better at school for most things.

DD is preparing for A Levels, but she really is trying to work this time (she's the one who didn't understand the purpose of revision upthread). But she gets massively distracted. In GCSE, we used to help at home a lot even though she was resistant by going through revision guides and papers. She only realised what she didn't know when directly questioned on it and would never ask us or the teachers if she was stuck. (She doesn't have 1 to 1 at school as she functions quite well.) I wish we'd managed to start on this a bit earlier because there was plenty of the course she'd just missed somehow.

I think that is where we are with our DD too- she won’t ask but equally won’t let us help
hopefully she’ll scrape what she needs then learn for next time
I hope your son manages ok

They made special study leave arrangements for DS. He only goes in for the exams, last week was fine, this week however, he only wrote 4 lines for yesterdays eng lit, the deputy head called (she used to be Sen, so often checks in on him) she said all the teachers agree it was a ridiculous paper. Today, he had computer science and left after one hour b3cause he didn’t understand the questions and started drawing on his hands and being a bit destructive. We’ve told him he can’t start being destructive as it isn’t fair on the other kids and to just put his hand up for a break, which he’s entitled to. I’m hoping it gets better, as the last 2 are his worst subjects. He only chose computer science as were no better options. Fingers crossed physics tomorrow is better as that’s his best topic in science.

Fingers crossed for him @Mindovermatter247

DS is the opposite - physics is his worst because he can't do the calculations and doesn't grasp the basics of the maths. (He likes the science itself, so I'm hoping there are enough questions which don't need maths to scrape through.)

So far my DS has not sat any of his exams due to his anxiety about going to school, school even told him he could sit the exam and then go home, but this doesn’t help when he can’t leave the house to go in without a panic attack. School otherwise have been rubbish and the head of house actually told me he hasn’t got a magic wand when I phoned for some advice.

looks like he his going to leave with no GCSE’s and hope he can still do the college course he wants and resit English and maths at college. He did have a first assessment for counciling today shame it couldn’t have happened before it got to this. It’s been a nightmare

@MyChemicalMummy So sorry to hear this. Let's hope the college are more sympathetic and he can sit the maths and English there. I have no advice except that I know there is no quick fix. My autistic daughter has left two schools and we did elective home schooling over the last year to get her ready for the exams (she also has chronic fatigue). She's already gone down a year so its taken her three years to get to this point of finally taking them - she couldn't have done it last year. Even if your son had received counselling before the exam it would probably take quite a while for anything to take effect. I apologise if I sound negative but in the past I've eagerly awaited appointments that I think may help my daughter only to find it didn't really help (or not that quickly anyway). Let's hope the different environment of college can make a difference to him.

@MyChemicalMummy I am so sorry to hear this, it just seems to be luck to get a school that understands and does what they can. DD would never have made it this far without her special provisions for school and exams. I really hope college works out as a better environment for them.

@Mindovermatter247 How did the second computer paper go? I hope he has managed what he can, but if only schools could notice what would get the best out of kids who need extra provisions and support long before it gets now. It’s not like the have had 12 years .

It's half term! Yay! A bit of rest from it all!

Hope you all have a good bank holiday

It didn’t he answered 2 questions, got stressed and started marking himself with his ruler and then drawing on it, he scribbled his name off of the front. I got called 15 minutes early to pick him up. The last 2 days were actually okay as he likes physics and he’s very good at the English language part. So fingers crossed he gets good grades for those. So he can at least do his college course.

@funkystars123 DD has been in pyjamas all day 🤣 not sure when to prod her to think about the rest of the exams
Sad that she can’t manage to take part in any of the end of school celebrations though. She’s not doing prom or any of the special assemblies. She might have managed prom (likely dressed as The Doctor, no prom dress here) but her pal at school is autistic too and can’t manage it.

@Mindovermatter247 fingers crossed the ones he enjoys go well. At least once these are over they can start focussing in what they actually enjoy instead of going through the motions on lots of subjects.

Good luck for the rest of the exams everyone- the half term has kind of ruined the schedule here so looking forward to the last one next Friday. Hope everyone is holding up ok x

Hi all, how is everyone feeling about results day? I am super worried. I thought DS's exams had gone ok but he casually mentioned the other day that he thought he had done really badly. At the time he said they were ok but maybe he was lying so as to not disappoint me? If he has failed most/all then can he simply resit everything or are you only allowed to resit certain subjects?

I am ok at the moment but when we get back from hols I think I will be a bag of nerves. No idea what we will do if she doesn’t get into her sixth form as she refused to get out of the car when we went to visit an alternative college.
I have no idea about resits I am afraid.

We are beginning to get stressed about results day now... it's so soon!

She's struggling to fill her time in the holidays which isn't helping but she needs this downtime to be recover and prepare for next year.