Do we complain to the headteacher?

[FlemCandango]

I have a DD y11 with a (very new) EHCP. Due to her stage of education we have had the annual review meeting this week though it has only been in place a couple of months.

Dd is autistic, has ADHD and is highly anxious. Despite this she has been able to take on a full set of GCSEs, has done very well in recent mocks, is very well behaved and well liked by her teachers. Her effort grades are high, she is well behaved.

The SENCO has been a difficult person to deal with throughout. He is abrasive and defensive and I don't like him. Despite this I was approaching the review meeting positively, my perception was that DD had more support in place, this was having a positive effect. The execution isn't perfect, but overall there was a lot to celebrate. I appreciate the efforts of the staff and of my daughter.

So the meeting happens, DD is at school with SENCO and TA, me and DH join virtually from home. There is a long discussion of post 16 options, a heavy emphasis on looking at other 6 forms/ colleges. Discussion of the A levels she would like to do all ok.

Then the teacher comments report is brought out and has not been shared with us prior. So we are trying to read it on a shared screen. Some concerns from teachers - comments about DD being "very very worried" and visibly anxious in class, lots of positive comments about progress as well. Then the discussion is hi-jacked by the TA/ SENCO saying DD is sometimes rude to TAs trying to help DD in class. This has not been discussed with us beforehand, no warning and no concrete examples. Just a very blunt criticism.

Unsurprisingly this floors DD, she is already visibly anxious in the meeting and uncomfortable. She tries to apologise and is not sure what they mean. No context or examples are given so she is not sure how to respond. Me and DH are witnessing our daughter dissolve into tears and distress on screen. We try to intervene, saying how inappropriate this is as DD has a social communication disorder ffs - she needs support and a much kinder approach. Constructive criticism is fine - that was not constructive and I cannot think what they wanted to achieve. If they wanted to upset us and DD then they did!

The SENCO responded to our saying this was inappropriate by saying he disagrees, without explanation. He doubles down on saying DD comes over as rude, again without any examples or suggestions for what she could do instead of whatever it is they are saying is rude!

Dd is allowed to leave so she can return to her maths lesson, still crying at this point, we have tried to offer reassurance over the screen.

My husband has to leave to go to a meeting. I am left with dickhead the SENCO to finish with a rush through of the changes the school has made to the text of the EHCP.

He hastily alters on screen while I am watching a paragraph where they have added a line saying DD is rude to the TAs, changing the wording to inadvertently abrupt sometimes. I am then completely aware that the criticism wasn't a poor choice of words in error but premeditated. It is so disheartening.

I left the meeting having lost all confidence in the SENCO, despite the fact that there has been progress since DD got her EHCP. I feel sad for DD who had a very difficult day but stayed in school and went in today.

The SENCO literally shat on a meeting that should have been positive! Wtf.

Could you ask for all future meetings to be recorded, when they are held virtually? Then there is a clear record of what has been said.

I have only read your first post and a few things stand out I want to address.

1 you dont like the SENCO, whatever you may think of the school and how they are, the SENCO is meant to be the expert and advising the school on how to deal with a SEN child as they are the experts with all the training, not the teachers. they are also meant to be the go between you and the school in terms of behavour and how it can be addressed and improved etc.

the fact you are finding him being rude seemingly going against you and acting aloof seems to show he is not a good SENCO and that should be the first red flag that the school is not for you.

2 why the hell would the school for changing the wording of the EHCP? they cant change it, the EHCP is an agreement between you, the school and the local authority as such any changes to it have to be agreed by all 3, have you agreed to the changes? was the person from the local authority in charge of your childs case present?

are you sure it was the EHCP he was changing and not some internal school behaviour notes?, how much funding is that EHCP worth to the school out of interest, I am wondering if he wants you out because the EHCP isnt worth as much as others that are looking for a place.

I don't often reply to school related posts but there are some things here that need unpicking by SLT. Why had paperwork not been shared two weeks prior? I'm sure this is in the DfE SEN code of practice. You and your daughter should have been prepared. This even more important with your child's primary need!

It's the beginning of term. Why on earth would a SENDco schedule an annual review that means they have to get everything ready and sent out right at the end of the Autumn. That's poor planning.

I don't work in a Secondary school but Year 11 is the end of a key stage. This makes it a meeting for transition to post 16. Even if that is within the school.

Email to Head first and request a meeting to discuss. Good luck x

Thank you for all the responses - I find it really helpful.

Velvet -

The document being altered was the EHCP it was on the shared screen for the meeting - we have 2 weeks to make our comments/ changes then it will go back to the LA. I didn't feel empowered to make much commentary at the time, my head was spinning. But we will be objecting/ changing the things we disagree with.

We're just moving this thread over to our SN Teens topic at the OP's request.

Thanks to everyone who's responded so far.

I would recommend getting their complaints policy and following it to the letter. Definitely sounds like a SENCO who doesnt understand the role / the children. Good luck

@FlemCandango

Thank you for all the responses - I find it really helpful.

Velvet -

The document being altered was the EHCP it was on the shared screen for the meeting - we have 2 weeks to make our comments/ changes then it will go back to the LA. I didn't feel empowered to make much commentary at the time, my head was spinning. But we will be objecting/ changing the things we disagree with.

That doesnt make any sense to me I dont know if its different in different council areas but my son also 11 has had a EHCP for about 3 or 4 years, the school wrote up the initial report with me, but once the EHCP was granted, every meeting regarding it has the LA rep present, physically or over the pandemic on zoom, its always been the same one so far and I have her email, I contact her if the school isn't meeting the EHCP and meetings with Senco fail (which they havn't) then she can look into having it out with them and if needed changing schools.

they cant change the EHCP document itself without my and the LAs agreement, my son also gets therapy at school and the therapist is at the meetings too, EHCPs require lots of discussion between everyone its an action plan its not for one bloke to decide to randomly write the kid is rude on it, what is that even meant to mean anyway.

It's pretty unusual for an LA rep to attend every review meeting. Usually they only turn up for the "big" ones, i.e. when the child is due to move to a new school or when there are problems. You're also incredibly lucky to have the same proactive rep, @VelvetChairGirl, in many LAs the turnover of case officers is absolutely phenomenal, and many are absolutely useless at dealing with.problems.

However, it's correct that only the LA can amend the EHCP, and they have to go through a process of first deciding whether they're going to amend and, if they are, sending you a draft and giving you time to commit.