The Goose and Carrot July Edition

[Lougle]

All welcome, and everything disappears after 90 days.

@drspouse such good news about DS coping with the club. How are you doing? You've got a lot to sort out.

@drspouse well done DS1. I hope tomorrow and Friday go smoothly.

@Wellzizizbetter doing what they say they are going to do would be too obvious. And if they did, you would be constantly thinking about what are they up to - or am I just too cynical?

@Lougle those who have failed you should be forced to walk a day in your shoes. The psychiatrist should be able to prescribe ADHD meds. If they claim not to feel confident in doing so, I would push back because they really should be able to.

I am so tired of all the half arsed half lies about what can and can’t be done. It reminds me of ds’s HT at one of the three primary schools he went to who threatened me with “the law”, I told her I was pretty sure “the law” was there to protect vulnerable disabled children so if she wanted to go down that path I would find it very reassuring. Many are just bullies. I don’t think it’s rude to tell the truth about what’s happened and how we are actually treated. Most of us are good people who’ve been dealt a difficult hand. We have nothing to apologise for and everything to be proud of. There isn’t a day that goes by that one of you doesn’t make me feel amazed at your strength and determination, because there’s something really impressive about keeping going every day.

i honestly think we would make a brilliant job of sorting it all out. What a pity nobody asks us! Perhaps we should just thrash out a plan for the country and send a link to the government.

I’m playing at gathering what I thought life should look like. Life has other ideas.

@inthequietofdawn the woman is an arse ignore her. Rude. Can you imagine if that level of comparison and judgement was applied to anything other than disability, it would be unacceptable.

@Wellzizizbetter ‘nothing to apologise for and everything to be proud of’ should be on the G&C coat of arms.

Dcat had a fox fight today he is still very alert.

The GP in the family told me the other day, the waiting list for the prescription of ADHD meds is just for the children, diagnosed by private providers. (DGD is on a waiting list too for ADHD prescriptions) I assume therefore, that children diagnosed by the NHS, can get their prescriptions straightaway?

Anyway, DD2 was diagnosed by the CMHT as an adult. There is no ADHD service here for adults. There is a high turnover of staff, so DD2 had had numerous psychiatrists; but whoever they are at the time, they just prescribed her methylphenidate, along with her antidepressants, antipsychotics, etc. I would have thought that was sensible, so one psychiatrist sees the overall picture, how the different conditions impact on each other, and can assess possible drug interactions.

@LathkillDale in our area they have the ADHD diagnostic service, then they are put on a medication review waiting list. DD3 has been on that list for her antidepressant (OCD) and ADHD meds since October.

Camhs must be different from adult services, at least here. DD2’s meds are changed regularly, after a phone call from her or her ex, although that maybe because it’s cheaper than having her as an inpatient, or running around at train stations. The police have asked to be informed, when she’s suicidal. (I doubt, she has told them, they’ve split up)

Just done a couple of hours gardening with DH so the silkies can get out and they loved it. Got more leaves cleared and lawn mowed and things watered. DS is now out there, seems to love the garden.

Am still waiting for guy to respond about shed roof and the clear plastic we have online says life expectancy is 5 years though reckon that's been there more like 30. The sander is here, need to charge it and then the paints etc are due to arrive tomorrow though won't do anything until tree is down incase it hits shed or can't go ahead. That's in a weeks time. I explained things to DS.

That's good progress @Tulipandmagnolia

DD3 passed her driving test. It was quite a tricky route with kamikaze pedestrians, a post person driving along a kerb with his hazards on, a police car with blue lights racing past the end of the junction she needed pull out on, pedestrians that were using phones and either just crossing, or not noticing she'd stopped then suddenly jumping into action, and a lorry that parked just before a junction, but she handled it all really well and came away with 2 driver faults and a pass certificate.

Great news @Lougle Well done DD3. Can she drive herself to kayaking now? 😎

Unfortunately, she's not yet at a point that she can go out without someone else for activities, but it does mean she could go with a friend if she's brave enough.

lougle congratulations to DD3. That's a great achievement, especially in the face of so many difficulties.

Oh that's excellent news @Lougle. So pleased, and such a quick turnaround - no time to get anxious.
DS wasn't really reliable enough at club today to go to the waterpark tomorrow but he's OK with it and it was a big ask. I'm going to go to the leisure centre tomorrow anyway and he can swim while I gym. I feel quite proud of myself, actually, too, for not being disappointed he couldn't do it.

Thank you @drspouse . It's a shame that DS isn't able to go, but really great that you're both ok with it. In the long run he's making such a lot of progress.

Gosling on wheels! That’s brilliant news @Lougle . What a really clever girl and what a lovely step forward for you. Can she go to the shops for icecream or cake?
@Tulipandmagnolia what about part corrugated bitumen or corrugated iron and some sheets of clear plastics. That way it won’t get so hot, but you’ll still have the light.

We're going to the ice-cream parlour in a minute.

Ice cream parlour sounds great and would be wonderful if one day she can go out with a friend for a drive @Lougle.

Thanks @Wellzizizbetter I have just messaged the roof guy and have given him all measurements of our shed and frame and have said about light and not too hot and I have suggested part plastic part another material or a skylight, not sure if a skylight is possible but he could watch squirrels on the roof. Hopefully will know soon whether the guy is interested or thinks its too old. I've made clear we know its not the most sensible option but its what our son prefers as last shed repair firm said no as not sensible economically. Then tree should hopefully be done by end of next week. DH is away after that but we can get started once he's back if I can get a viable roofing option.

@Lougle well done DD3. Enjoy the ice cream. What would DD3 think to a PA?

I don't think she'd want that, tbh, and I don't think she'd qualify. She's made a new friend from school who lives about 5 miles away, so I'm hoping that they might go out together soon.

Her examiner was just lovely today. She was, I think, in her late twenties and she chatted the whole way around about DD3's veg patch, her school life, the way other people were driving, etc.

@Lougle it’s irrelevant if DD3 wouldn’t want it, but DD3 absolutely meets the criteria. This isn’t a criticism but sometimes I think when we have multiple DC with additional needs, we can sometimes see things through the lens of the most complicated one. Your DD3 may not have needs at the level of your DD1, but she has significant needs, otherwise she wouldn’t be in an independent SS and receive enhanced of both PIP components.

I think that’s very true @inthequietofdawn ds2 has struggled with what in another family would be a heavy load. It’s a two edged sword, positive to be seen as the stronger one but hard when you need more help.

i hope the icecream is delicious @Lougle Life changing stuff.

I don't know anything any more. I think I spend my whole time thinking that somehow we've cheated the system.

DD3 shouldn't have significant needs. She shouldn't be afraid to go into the village. I think part of my dilemma is that she would probably be ok to drive somewhere where nobody might recognise her. It's the more local areas that worry her so much.

@Lougle Congratulations to DD on passing her driving test. It’s hard enough to overcome nerves at the best of times - even more so, for DD with complex needs. Today, she can be proud of herself!

Well done DD3 @Lougle what a fab achievement now the fun starts, I hope the ice cream is yum & the new friendship can develop too.
i found it quite hard as a parent once my DD started driving out alone especially later at night, but it’s been fantastic for her growing independence, she’s now going to apply for University next year to a place about an hour away. She still likes the idea of being able to pop home. She’s getting there in her own time and just needed a couple of extra years to mature. It means she’ll be nearly 21 by the time she goes if she gets on the healthcare course she wants to do. But she’s got some really good related work experience now & feels ready when last year at the end of college it just felt completely out of reach socially for her.

I think I spend my whole time thinking that somehow we've cheated the system.

Stop that! You haven’t. Don’t be letting anyone make you feel like that, @Lougle.

@Wellzizizbetter I think it is common in families with more than one DC with additional needs. My DS2 has additional needs. He has an EHCP (going back to my post yesterday, one some think he shouldn’t have or shouldn’t have the level of provision he does), enhanced of both PIP components, and social care DPs. His needs are nowhere near DS1 or even DS3’s, but sometimes DH and I have to remind ourselves he doesn’t present as your typical teen.