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[ExistingonCoffee]

A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted and 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The fire is on and the bar is well stocked.

That's great on speed @drspouse

Glad DS1 is home and doing well @ExistingonCoffee

We have progress on the sofa bed, its been made, is at delivery office half an hour from us and being delivered very soon. Yesterday we cleared space in the living room for it and put things out for special collection by the council which were taken this morning. DS must have overheard my plans about the shed rug as he's taken it somewhere. 😂No idea what he's overheard I was getting him a replacement knew one but I said to DH that his current one was washable which it is but they are selling new ones half price so got a new one as it has mud on by where he puts his shoes. Always takes his shoes off for the shed and sweeps the floor.

I’ve got the urge to paint my bedroom. It’s a very very dark green and one wall has wallpaper. I fancy a light colour. Do you all just paint over the wallpaper or take it off the wall first?

I prefer light colours too. You can paint over wallpaper if its in good condition, if not best to remove it. You need if painting over it to use a primer that is not water based first.

https://www.wickes.co.uk/how-to-guides/decorating/painting-over-wallpaper

Thanks @Squirrelsandhedgehogs i paint garden furniture but I’ve never tried inside the house. I might paint over it and if it looks awful then take it off.

My sofas are over 25 years old and need replacing. I keep going round in circles as it’s a big decision to get wrong. DD and DH are very attached to the sofas.

It may also depend on the state of the wall underneath - we have anaglypta wallpaper on our stairs but it has to stay or the wall will fall apart!

We are in a complex insurance puzzle with our bathroom and dining room. Insurers will pay for the results of "the event" (massive leak from bath into dining room) but understandably not for a new bath and sink.
Not sure yet if they are going to disable the bath/shower when they take up the tiles to assess the damp. Also they will do part of the wall tiling and DH wants to keep the existing tiles for the rest of the room and put in panels whereas I want tiles by the bath as well.

Drspouse hope you and DH can come to an amicable agreement and the work isn't too disruptive.

Ds has submitted his application for the new job. There was much angst but he managed it all himself - I didn't even have to sit with him - and the deadline isn't until Sunday!

Generally, unless it's a paintable wallpaper, you'll find it blows when it gets wet with paint.

So two choices that work and I've used recently:

Zinnser Gardz primer can be applied directly onto the paper, then you can paint over it.

Or remove the paper:

I'd get one of these scorersZinnser paper scorer then use a spray bottle with a 50/50 mix of white vinegar and water. The paper should come off easily.

For wall prep before painting, a layer of Zinsser Gardz will make sure the remaining adhesive doesn't make the paint patchy.

Good luck with the insurance puzzle @drspouse, I hope it all works out.

Pleased to hear DS1 is home and doing well @ExistingonCoffee.

Good luck for the job application for DS @NoHaudinMaWheest!

We got DD's finalised EHCP yesterday (we never got a draft to comment on). They've named a local ARP which will be a disaster for her, and they know perfectly well it will, so it's off to the tribunal we go.... I'm hoping the school we want will keep the place for her while we appeal.

DS was super attached to our old sofa @HedgehogsAgree so that's why we have a pretty much identical one but longer as he's grown coming. Luckily the firm still exist, just hope its the same quality, still has good reviews. Hope you can find a solution.

Hope job application goes well @NoHaudinMaWheest

Good luck with insurance @drspouse Its tricky once things start in the bathroom, our started as repairing the floor then quickly ended up as a whole new bathroom but having said that we needed it and its much nicer. Hope you have another bathroom.

I knew you would all know how to decorate well. I feel like I might give it a go.

@NoHaudinMaWheest wow! That’s the kind of independence that fills me with joy for you all. Your DS has come a long way.

@RavenLaw I’ve got everything crossed that the wanted school keeps the spot open.

@ExistingonCoffee hope everything is quite and that this weekend brings stability.

@Squirrelsandhedgehogs we will probably be sitting on the same sofas for another few years while I procrastinate.

@drspouse is it time for a Japanese toilet! First excuse to have the bathroom floor up and I’m getting one.

@Lougle hope you have the sun today for a dog walk. It’s beautiful here

DD studied alone yesterday and got loads done. I had a very welcome evening watching Point Break (1991) I had never seen it before.

Fees for 3 x LPAs 2 x wills and change to house deeds comes in at £3,500. That’s without any trusts.

Yes things were very pricey when I looked into it. We don't need anything with the house. The trouble is the rules change all the time, especially for us with the French / British situation. I was quoted £400 a trust will by coop but that was 2022 but its not that much use for us with French relatives and DH being French.

You probably know this but you can get sofa covers if that helps @HedgehogsAgree They aren't perfect but can cover up a damaged sofa and give a few more years very cheapily.

Thanks for the good wishes everyone.

Ravenlaw I hope the place stays open and your tribunal journey isn't too difficult.

ExistingonCoffee glad DS1 is home and I hope he continues to do well.

LPAs can be done yourself. I've done 8 LPAs. Wills can be achieved through several of the charities - we got mirror wills with 2 disabled discretionary trusts for £300. House deeds I don't know much about. But that might help with costs.

@Lougle I done my parents LPAs I worry about doing DD’s appointing me in case there is anything wrong with that?

Tenants in common I think allows 50% to go to DD on death but what happens when the other parent dies? I guess DD has to sell the house to pay their care fees etc?

Has anyone considered giving the house to their DC (s) and paying rent to them? Could this help with inheritance tax as you are paying rent monthly. UC would cease I guess.

@NoHaudinMaWheest well done DS. Good luck with the job application.

@RavenLaw I’m sorry you need to appeal.

@HedgehogsAgree you don’t need a solicitor for the LPAs. There’s no problem with doing DD’s LPA without a solicitor. From your posts, I doubt anyone would question whether she had capacity to make the LPA.

If you/DH need care, your house would be disregarded during any financial assessment because DD lives there and she is disabled. Under the current rules, anyway.

If you/DH gift your house to DD and subsequently you/DH need care, the LA may investigate for deprivation of capital. LAs are going further and further back when investigating.

That’s right about tenants in common. I imagine you are currently joint tenants which will need to be severed.

I have not engaged properly with wills etc. it just all overwhelms me at the moment. I always feel I barely keep on rope of RL. I am having a not so great week. Ds had another seizure and I don’t know if we just have to accept they aren’t controlled or if it’s going to be another year of meds changes.

Sorry DS has had another seizure @ZairWazAnOldLady hope can get them under control again soon.

I would have thought your DD would be deemed to have capacity @HedgehogsAgree I've seen a couple of posts on one of the forums here about people having issues using the free wills from charities and charities causing complications holding things up after death but don't know how much of an issue it is. I gave up in the end as the French - British thing and 3 grandparents also involved none of whom we know details for (one now know) and changing rules here and in France just felt like it was a bit of a moneypit to pursue and things were going to be invalid or ineffective every couple of years. The default arrangement isn't too bad for us. We don't have any mortgage and house is jointly owned so passes to DH / I on death of the other then down to children. If I suddenly got a stage 4 diagnosis we would review then but all clear (4 years all clear) and no checks for 3 years now. DH has more properties but no mortgages on them. It is worth investigating though and learning about the rules and your situation may be simpler than ours without the French element. Though we do have the benefit of DD.

We got the cakes for valentines day and DS had 2 cinnamons buns so far and I had one, they are very nice, also have 2 valentines biscuits. Got a new charging cable for my phone as it had stopped working again so that's back. Got a new rug, cushioned underrug, and 3 big outdoor cushions for DS in the shed collected. Then DH and I went out and did 2.5 hours of gardening. Well I did shedding largely. I cleaned everything in the shed, threw out a few old things and put down the new underrug, rug and 3 cushions and cleaned DSs two old sofa cushions and repaired them a bit. DH was doing more garden path. Path 1 is done, the squirrel and hedgehog path is close to being done - need to lay about 7 more of them and then clean them as they have got muddy and then have the old path to redo. Its good exercise and lovely to be outside. The silkies were with us. And when I was in the shed I discovered a piece of paper on which DS had written a long password in perfect handwriting. Only the third, well third and a half word we have seen since hospital but interesting. I told him about the sofa bed and cleaner coming on Tuesday but he was putting his ipad sound up like shut up mother. DD has been messaging me lovely messages so I have one at least.

Got farm shop fruit and veg on Friday. We have a full black bin though with 1.5 weeks to go as there was one more item than we realised to get rid of and council obviously didn't take and was too late to amend. I also realised I accidentally through out DSs gardening gloves when cleaning so will get him a new pair but good he uses them. I've no idea what he has done with the old rug and underrug in there, the rug is washable so no idea if he's taken it into wash, not sure about underrug. Not sure what they are called, non-slip mat.

@ZairWazAnOldLady sorry about the seizure misery. They do seem stubborn, don't they?

@Squirrelsandhedgehogs you've achieved a lot today!

DD1 fell down the stairs again today. That's twice in 2 weeks. It seems to be since the new carpet has gone in. I suppose the old carpet was so threadbare that she was treading directly on the wooden stairs.

@Lougle I hope DD1 isn’t injured.

@ZairWazAnOldLady sorry to hear DS has had another seizure.

@Squirrelsandhedgehogs I hope you find the rugs.

I am exhausted. I don’t seem to be able to shake the exhaustion over the last few months.

Thanks @Lougle It was nice to get the shed redone, the outdoor cushions are nice bright colours which DS loves.

Sorry your DD1 fell down the stairs, that's odd about the carpet - when we had someone round to quote for new stairs they said if we had it solid wood it would be slippery and advised if we have people likely to fall down (that's DH and DS here) to at least part carpet (the middle part of every stair). But maybe there's a finish on the carpet that's slippery, hopefully will go soon.

I have my passport being redone too, seems to be quick at the moment. Hopefully we will be able to go on holiday when DD is back for the holidays though she has 3 rowing camps.

@ExistingonCoffee it's little wonder with all you've been dealing with, but would it be at least worth a GP visit to get some basic bloods, etc.? It can be risky to assume the cause of fatigue, even if it's logical.

@Squirrelsandhedgehogs yes, I wonder if it's the bounce of the new underlay that it wrong-footing her?