Join us in the Goose and Carrot Pub thread.

[ExistingonCoffee]

A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted and 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The fire is on and the bar is well stocked.

I’d echo exactly what @NoHaudinMaWheest it’s the cumulative build up of so so many micro demands and we are all human @Lougle your doing an endless job with little respite it sounds like. I’ve made the most of driving my eldest DD to one of her 4hr training sessions this week to just sit quietly & read or watch ipad and it’s felt like a treat! Even sat during a storm in the car wrapped up waiting. It’s an hour drive r/t otherwise. We all need time out to recharge.

DS had his secret 5am bath today, only it wasn't so secret (and due to the muddy footprints and bottles knocked over its not hard to identify) as the cat decided to go outside the bathroom door and make dramatic sad noises that he wasn't allowed in. So everyone was up then, I gave the bathroom a quick clean, DH gave the cat a tuna and we went back to sleep waking late for the Waitrose order. Got it fine with DSs weird and wonderful fruit and have done 3 hours gardening (working on path and tidying) and floors downstairs. Had a nice bath.

Not surprised you find that difficult @Lougle, its low level but relentless.

I need to clear the mud off these stones and lawn here is gone due to DSs walking and weather but enjoy doing the garden.

@Lougle I don’t think it sounds trivial. It is the relentlessness.

Thanks all. DS1 has had an OK day.

@RavenLaw No, unfortunately DD2 isn’t entitled to S117 after care, as she was only on S2. She’s never got as far as S3. She’s not getting any support in the community.

She may be eating; but her fiance rang me practically in tears Friday lunchtime. She rang me up crying hysterically, so I went round to see her - I was amazed she let me in the house! She told me, she said whatever it took to get the section lifted last Monday - that everything would be fine if she went home! Nothing could have been further from the truth! Monday evening, he was on the phone to me, that he couldn’t cope and is going to walk out on her tomorrow - there’s a clinical review of her.

Her fiance came home from work early, so I left, as I could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. On the way home, he rang me up in tears, as he couldn’t cope with her anymore. while he was on the phone, she rang me up crying hysterically that she couldn’t cope with living with him anymore. He’s shouting at her all the time, which makes her anxiety worse!

I can see it’s impossible to live with her and I can only think she is going to end up homeless and penniless, with or without the baby! That’s a dilemma for us - my husband won’t have her in the house, after the way she’s treated the baby, not eating on and off, and wanting a termination for 3 months; not to mention lying, abusing me and him for three months and being oblivious to the effects of her severe OCD (psychosis imo) on her fiancé!

Glad DS1 had a better night @ExistingonCoffee

That sounds really difficult @BlueandWhitePorcelain

Have washed DSs curtains and put them back. He has eaten both chocolate melt in middle puds, all the passion fruit and all the apples.

That sounds incredibly difficult @BlueandWhitePorcelain. Is the clinical review today?

Good to hear DS1 had an ok day @ExistingonCoffee.

Entrance hall curtains appear to be working and DS is spending a lot more time and pretty much all of the nights in living room. We are awaiting delivery of sofa bed but should be this month. He ate his meal fine last night. He did come upstairs for a 6am bath and I had to give it a quick clean afterwards and the cat also decided his baths mean tuna early. But good he is bathing. It's every night or every other night.

@BlueandWhitePorcelain sounds very challenging place to be in for everyone I hope dd can get the medical intervention it sounds like she really needs.
@ExistingonCoffee hope Ds has had a better night again and can leave icu soon.

We finally had adhd meds video call this morning and they have agreed to start DD2 on a 6-8hr stimulant so I’m hoping we can get that in place by the weekend to start. And she can benefit.

@BlueandWhitePorcelain it's so very difficult. If DD has 2 has psychosis, though, or even severe OCD on its own, she won't be capable of rational thought. In her mind, she isn't harming her baby by not eating. She's protecting him/her. The real her, that you know and love, isn't requesting an abortion because she doesn't want the baby. It's the stuff of horror stories, isn't it? Her mind has been hijacked. I do hope you can all get some support. So worrying and exhausting for you all.

So late to the pub! Crazy busy. I decided just to keep doing things till everything was done, bar sleeping. It’s been over a week and the todo list is still pages…but I’m going to slow down or I will pop. Ds is in the pool but I think had an upsetting day at school. He wanted to go down one stairway but was made to use the other and is desperately upset about it. My initial thought is “why can’t he choose the stairs he wants to get from one floor to another?” I’m probably being unreasonable. I find a lot of “rules” totally pointless. I’ve promised to ask tomorrow which will make a bigger deal of it than needs be.

@ExistingonCoffee ICU! I’m so sorry things have been so hard for you all. I hope someone is feeding you and it is not too long till things get better for you all.

@Lougle patience in the face of exhausting demand is a major drain on everything. Hang in there and build some good bits into your day to keep you going. (Even a sweet in your cheek if you know it’s a reward can keep you going.

@RainingDucks I hope the meds help.

@BlueandWhitePorcelain it is disappointing DD has been discharged with no support.

@ZairWazAnOldLady careful you don't burn out!

Thanks all. DS1 is slightly better today. He will hopefully be moving back to the ward tomorrow. The source of the infection has been identified too.

Oh that IS good news @ExistingonCoffee . Yay for finding the source and I do hope you escape icu tomorrow.

@ExistingonCoffee so glad to hear positive news. It's always good to know what's causing the problem.

ExistingonCoffee good news that progress is being made. I hope all goes well with the move to the ward tomorrow.

Glad DS1 is improving @ExistingonCoffee and hope he's out of ICU soon.

DS left me some dragon fruit and just took a slice which was good, he's also just been eating half the jam doughnuts. I currently was woke up early by the cat and thought DS must have had a very early bath but no it's all clean with no bottles knocked over, muddy floor or taps turned and the cat is just very cuddly as he's scared of the wind and wanted breakfast as well. We have more solar dandelions today arriving.

I've been in bed with a virus for the last 2 days. No idea how the DCs are!
I do feel for single parents at times like these.

Hope you're recovering @drspouse!

Hope you feel better soon @drspouse

I was woken last night at 3.12am by DS taking a bath for 40 minutes, its great he's bathing so much but it also woke the cat up who then thought he was due an extra breakfast plus I had to clean the bathroom. Muddy floors, lots of long hair all over the toilet, 4 bottles finished, lots of hair in the bath and bath foam and mud and conditioner over the shower screen. Only takes 10 minutes to sort but very early today. Our solar dandelions arrived and was great arrived early on an all day delivery time slot so hopefully will put those out this weekend.

I think I’ve caught a lurgy too. I keep falling asleep everywhere. Very tiresome.

Get well soon Drs & Zair

@ExistingonCoffee is DS1 on a ward yet? Or did I miss that?

@Lougle being with any person most of the day is so demanding I’m not surprised you are tired.

@BlueandWhitePorcelain I am shocked that your DD has no aftercare. Pregnancy should be vulnerable enough surely.

@Squirrelsandhedgehogs lovely stepping stones!

@RavenLaw DD got 65% for her assignment thank you. IRAC lost her some marks but her tutor has seen that it’s difficult for DD. IRAC practice is the homework.

@NoHaudinMaWheest I’m floating - not swimming but not sinking further.

@RainingDucks glad you got a break waiting fur DD1. I’m going to a hotel Sunday and I’m taking all the books I can carry.

@ElizabethBennetsFineEyes I hope all the system difficulties are not wearing you down.

Another language assignment has been submitted but since DM stayed here DD has said she needs me with her to study and oh my the days are so long. I’m just sitting like a pudding for comfort. I can’t transition it back to self study (3 hours for me to do other stuff!)

DM is doing great! Going upstairs to bed, having visitors and going out with friends again. What a trooper!

I am going out with DH for 2 hours this weekend. A kind friend said it’s time. It’s easier not to but it’s time to let DD try out some time alone. It will be the first time we have ever done this since we had DD. I am so nervous.

@HedgehogsAgreecan you nip out to the loo/make her tea and be gone a minute longer each time?

I am very slightly better but was so ill I'm going to give the first night of Scout camp a miss meaning DS will not go that night either. Have missed 3 days of work which is v unusual where I work as it's usually either weeks (stress or very serious illness) or one day for a cold and battle on. So I've been having to keep in touch every day to rearrange meetings which is stressful in itself.

@drspouse that sounds horrible. I can leave the room but DD will either come with me or take a break. I’m hoping a night away will break the routine.

@HedgehogsAgree

DH sent an email to the head of some service at the mental health trust on Friday, complaining about the lack of any support for DD2, since she was discharged from the Section 2. He also commented that he hoped she and her OH were both going to be honest about the situation at the clinical review this Monday.

It’s strange how mental HCPs always comment on how people with BPD are manipulative; but then they take everything she says at face value - when in fact, she never tells them the whole truth about what goes on in her mind! DH says they do it on purpose to save themselves money!

@BlueandWhitePorcelain Good that DH has flagged that the situation might be down played at the review.