Join us in the Goose and Carrot Pub thread.

[ExistingonCoffee]

A thread for all who have DC with SN. The thread is deleted and 90 days and doesn’t show in active. The fire is on and the bar is well stocked.

Z and Dr I hope you are feeling better soon.

@HedgehogsAgree well done to DD on the assignment result. It is lovely to hear DM is coping back at home. Good luck for this weekend. Enjoy!

DS1 is doing well. He is back on a ward. DH is with him tonight. Discharge planning is underway. We had hoped for tomorrow but that might be a little early.

HedgehogsAgree well dohe to Dd on the assignment. Hopefully she will get the confidence for lone study back soon. Are you allowed to do anything or do you just have to sit there?

ExistingonCoffee good news that DS1 is making progress. I hope you are home soon.

There is a job going in a different team in Ds's department. The head of that department has suggested he apply for it. It is a grade up and wouldn't involve the physical moving of equipment that Ds struggles with. No guarantee that he will get it of course but exciting none the less.

Oh little flutters if good news @ExistingonCoffee that all sounds very positive and @NoHaudinMaWheest that sounds very exciting! Very complementary to be considered in itself.

As often happens I get in a muddle and write my frustration on the thread then poof! The problem starts to resolve. DD went halves and done 90 mins studying alone with me coming in for the tired complaining stretch.

Has anyone got experience of leg braces? DD is trialling new arch support trainers but her ankles still roll giving duck stance when walking and ankle/shin/knee pain. I got an e-mail about a missed childhood vaccination so I might have finally found a route to home visits (although the e-mail said visit the clinic if they want to up vaccine numbers they might come to our house)

@NoHaudinMaWheest that sounds like a brilliant opportunity. Fingers crossed for DS.

@HedgehogsAgree DS1 has AFOs rather than a leg brace. He doesn’t wear them as much as he should because he struggles to tolerate them.

AFOs look interesting thank you! Yes the laces on new trainers are not tight enough to give the support. Working on tightening them gradually. I think DD will agree with your DS1 on AFOs but that is well worth a look.

@HedgehogsAgree after persevering with the trainers for a while, if they don’t work, would DD wear boots? DS1 couldn’t tolerate them, but some boots can provide more support at the ankle.

@ExistingonCoffee yes! She used to wear knee high boots and ankle boots, what a good, and obvious now I think about it, suggestion. Thanks.

If anyone else has fleece bedding fans in their house ASDA has a fantastic sale on fleece bedding right now. I cleared out the linen cupboard and mould had got to some items (as it was stuffed to the gills with no air circulating) so we needed new.

Hedgehogsagree Ds wears orthotic insoles in ordinary shoes. They help a bit but he really needs more support. However that is as much as he can tolerate and he would rather put up with the pain than wear anything else.

Good news that DS is heading towards discharge @ExistingonCoffee .

Very exciting that DS might get a new job @NoHaudinMaWheest - how wonderful if he could go up a grade and reduce the difficult parts of his job.

Sorry you're feeling poorly @drspouse and and @ZairWazAnOldLady

@HedgehogsAgree great news about the assignment but oh I understand the strain of quietly supporting.

I managed to double book the ed Psych and the SALT today. SALT was very understanding last night, and cancelled. Then Ed Psych wasn't feeling well today, so cancelled, by which time SALT had booked someone else in. DD1 had chosen to be at my parents last night, so I had two glorious hours on my own this morning. I am suddenly seeing the benefit of weaponised incompetence 😉

We're looking at new Motability vehicles as DD1's lease is nearly up. I think we might go for the Peugeot Rifter 5 seater long. We really need 3 full seats in the back, plus room for DD1's rigid wheelchair, her power assist and track wheel, plus the dogs would be ideal. The new model Citroen C5 Aircross (we currently have a '23 model) has gone back to 2½ seats in the back now.

lougle great that you got two hours on your own.

@Lougle if the G&C had a figure head bust on the bar like the Queen Vic in Eastenders it would be a bronze Greta Garbo. God bless the understanding grandparents out there.

At the moment I’m thinking we won’t renew our motability car. It was ghastly getting it and I really struggle not have no my own car. I need to do lots of driving for my other children and for several other family oldies or fragile ones. I just feel uncomfortable all the time and it’s causing difficulty.

As far as orthotic insoles go, we find Doc Martens really help as alternatives. For me I prefer air something or other (air max??) work well.
We are in seizure land again. My poor boy. He seems to be back to himself today though. It was a fever again. I wonder if there’s a way of just monitoring his body temperature all the time. Honestly if we could just give him paracetamol as his temp rises we could skip 99%?of seizures.

@ZairWazAnOldLady can you give DS paracetamol? I am also never getting a mobility car again.

@ZairWazAnOldLady I think some of the smart watches monitor temperature?

DM’s I have not considered as I thought they were too heavy. I have friends with arthritis that wear them all the time so maybe I’m not understanding the benefit. One to try.

@HedgehogsAgree dd gets on very well with docs and has ridiculously flippy joints and very low muscle tone. They do take some getting used to but she returns to them again and again. I don’t think they are quite as good quality as they were in the 80s but worth a try (and quite cool as support footwear goes).

Congratulations to your DD on the assignment @HedgehogsAgree! That's a very respectable mark, well done her.

Thanks @RavenLaw lawful excuse in the case of criminal damage was the topic tonight. Half way through DD was asking for your opinion as all the examples were unlawful. Eventually she researched and found police bashing a door in and car window broken to save baby.

I think DD1 might be the death of me. She's been rambling constantly, then yesterday morning, said she couldn't visit Grandad's in case she hurt herself with his knives. I accepted that. Later, she wanted to visit, and a friend 3 doors up from Mum and Dad's asked if I was free for a coffee. So I dropped her off at my parents'. She was cackling about her 'evil plan' to stay there overnight and ask for fish and chips for dinner. After I'd had coffee with my friend, I went to my parents and had a cup of tea. DD1 then said she should come home because 'thoughts'.

We got home and DDs needed driving practice. I noticed DD1 didn't respond when I encouraged her about being a good passenger. We got home and DD1 wrote me a note asking for a meal deal. I said no. She did some sort of sign I didn't understand. I kept telling her I didn't understand, so she repeated it. I said she'd need to either tell me what it meant or write it down, so she wrote down 'why not'. She didn't speak for her rest of the night.

This morning she still wasn't speaking. I didn't make any comment on it and made sure nobody else commented on it. Suddenly, I heard her speak to DH. I asked him what he did to make her speak and he said 'I guess she didn't know how to communicate that she wanted a hot cross bun...'

Now she's speaking again. I asked her, casually, about it, and she said 'Well I thought I'd better speak again because you lot know nothing about Makaton!'

Honestly.

I know it’s not funny when you live it , @Lougle but I just love your dd1! Her exasperation with your inadequate knowledge of exactly what she needs is just so funny.

I occasionally harness my inner Julie Andrews and try to jolly DS a step too far and he sighs and says “Mum just stop” like an old man talking fondly to a child.🤣

I’m feeling a bit low about ds’s future. I don’t know what he’s going to do with himself after college and they seem too wrapped up in today to even consider next term let alone the future. As at every stage in his life I feel like I’ve missed the memo and we are out of step. Meanwhile I have four other young adults who are not launched and the generation above needing more care. It’s not anything out of the ordinary but it’s quite a lot.

@ZairWazAnOldLady I know we've said it a lot, but I so wish you lived around the corner from me. I have very similar feelings often.

I'm still learning when DD2 needs soft kindness, and when she needs a kick up the bum. I'm kicking her up the bum about driving practice because DD3 is utterly motivated and I know that if she progresses too much, DD2 will just give up.

It's hard being an adult.

'Well I thought I'd better speak again because you lot know nothing about Makaton!'

I love DD1’s response.

@ZairWazAnOldLady the most frustrating thing of all is finding the time to listen to elders and pass time with them without it involving practical/medical help. DM wants to pass down her life stories and time gets sucked up with necessities.

DD is with you on worrying about the future. Who will she have when we go conversation went on very late last night. It’s a hard listen.

@Lougle haha!

A huge thing happened today. I went out for an hour with DH for lunch. We have not left DD indoors alone for 19 years. I’ve left her for 30 mins if DH has been away but if two of us are here we go out separately. All the emergency scenario preparation and DD went to sleep and is still asleep….