Do you ever get over feeling hurt when your child with ASD constantly ignores you?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Just having a bad day..DD has been totally ignoring me and in a world of her own all day.

I am feeling so low at the moment that every time she is ignoring me it is hurting me.

Can't do anything WITH her but can't ignore her as she doesn't like that either and trashes the house.

Can't imagine ever stopping feeling hurt by her ignoring me. Does there ever come a point when it doesn't hurt like hell every single time you try to talk to your child and get ignored?{sad]

Hi Fanjo,
I find it hurts me more sometimes than others. I often just rationalise it by thinking that ds can't help it and doesn't realise that he isdoing it. On a bad day, hoever, when I have my negative radar up, it hurts me very much. I'm guessing that you are having a bad time and her ignorning you today is magnifying those feelings.

Yes, I am really depressed at the moment, going through the DX process, feeling horrible about the whole thing and terrible about myself so it is affecting me even more than usual.

However it just always has, I always end each day feeling hopeless and fed up because of her ignoring me.

Dd2 goes from one extreme to another (one day she's all over me and the next day doesn't want to know), luckily most days she's all over me. I find it harder with dd1 as she is more verbal and tells me that she hates me and tells me that i'm lazy and useless. At the moment dd1 keeps saying she does not want a daddy any more which upsets dh.

Sending you hugs Fanjo xxx

I have to say I think half of the reason I am so frazzled/low is she will just NOT go to sleep for several hours after being put in bed, even if she is tired, she won't even go to sleep until after I feel I want to, and shouts for us on and off, so it's never-ending. (posting this as she leaps about in bed)

I have days when it annoys me, days when it gets me down and, thankfully, far more days where I see it as par for the course. I was jumping up and down making silly noises, trying to distract DS2 from lining up and examining an assortment of objects, this afternoon. Ended up walking over, picking him up and sitting him back down on the changing mat where I wanted him to be!

I struggle not to get frustrated with DS1, though, because it's often plain that he has registered that I'm talking to him, but he is choosing to block me out because he doesn't want to stop what he is doing.

Does she take Melatonin Fanjo? Dd2 is just the same (she's still awake now after getting out of bed several times and playing her mouth organ), dd2 now takes melatonin, it has cut the time she takes to settle from 4 hours to half an hour (most nights), she still wakes in the night but i can just about handle that if i can get her to settle earlier.

Thanks for hugs Marne, have some back as it sounds like you need them too!

ouryve, yes, I have been there quite a few times, and know what you mean about them choosing to ignore you! I actually think DD is doing that quite a lot at the moment, and she is quite sullen and sulky with only me, I am wondering if this is just a phase all kids go through in a way, at 2-3, but magnified with her!!

Marne - no we haven't been prescribed Melatonin, probably because we don't have a DX yet.

The not going to sleep is so draining, fanjo If DS2 is obviously not going to go to sleep, we can keep him down here with us and he happily entertains himself (and will even fall asleep on the floor without drama when he is ready to go), but DS1 gets so physical and destructive and really is difficult to deal with when he is tired, and the more tired he is, the worse he gets

We're quite grateful that the boys are on an early waking cycle at the moment, since at least we get some evening to ourselves, even if it is spent with DH crashed out on the sofa.

DD was being tired and destructive earlier, so I put her to bed at 645..she was asking to go in, so i thought she would go off quite early, she is still singing and messing about.

She is like your DS1, I couldn't keep her up until ready to sleep, the house would not survive!!

Yes, fanjo, I've noticed a lot of age appropriate difficult behaviours with the boys - as I put it, DS1 is currently 6 with knobs on!

Fanjo, it would be worth asking for Melatonin, its not a drug (just a hormone) so would not do her any harm, i think there are ways of getting them without a prescription, its great stuff if it works (it helps both of my girls and has made my life easier).

Dd2 chooses to ignore me when i'm saying something she doesn't want to hear, i always test her by shouting 'biscuit' (which she always responds too). I spent most of the afternoon shouting at her to stop letting the water out of the paddling pool, she decided to ignore me and i got really frustrated as i know she understands what i'm saying. My husband is just the same (he's on the spectrum), he only hears what he wants to hear .

of course when DH comes in she is sweetness and light and her usual happy, albeit very distracted self!!

Marne - I will ask, I think it is contraindicated for epilepsy, not 100% sure they have ruled that out, but if they have I will ask about it.

Could I ask GP for it? No idea when we will have another hospital appointment.

It's funny how they always respond to certain things..my DD will always respond to "chocolate" and "present"

DD is not just ignoring me at the moment, she has been deliberately doing naughty things then ignoring me telling her off.

and I wish i knew why she ignores me all DAY but at night when in bed she shouts for me almost every 5-10 minutes...

Fanjo.

DS2 was like this Thursday, and no matter what I did he ignored me except for wanting me tp wipe his bum .

I second the melatonin. DS2 takes it and it did his sleeping a world of wonders. Pretty sure they'd presribe some without a DX, not sure if it would affect epilepsy?

thanks 5inthebackofthenet - yes it's funny how they want you for some things and not others isn't it!!

When searching online for info about melatonin, I keep finding it being sold online in the UK, I thought it was only available over counter in US? These are UK websites....

Fanjo- the gp would be able to tell you if its safe for her to take but you might not be able to get any from the GP, we had to go through dd's pead.

wow, she is silent now, if she is asleep it will be the earliest sleep time for MONTHS...

Fingers crossed for you, dd2 has just fallen asleep even though dh is listening to the football (tv close to dd2's bed).

yes, she is asleep, still look her 1 hr 45mins when totally exhausted though!

So you are going to have a nice peaceful evening?

No football here tonight as DH is away visiting his brother!!

Dd2 will wake up before midnight so i have to make the most of it . Hope you manage to have a relaxing night.

You can buy melatonin on the net but (i know a few people who have), phone your dd's pead on monday and ask if she can take it, they should prescribe it for her (i managed to get it without the pead seeing the dd's).