Do you ever get over feeling hurt when your child with ASD constantly ignores you?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Just having a bad day..DD has been totally ignoring me and in a world of her own all day.

I am feeling so low at the moment that every time she is ignoring me it is hurting me.

Can't do anything WITH her but can't ignore her as she doesn't like that either and trashes the house.

Can't imagine ever stopping feeling hurt by her ignoring me. Does there ever come a point when it doesn't hurt like hell every single time you try to talk to your child and get ignored?{sad]

Yes, should check first..enjoy your evening before she wakes then DD tends to wake at either 130 or 330.

Hope she is asleep fanjo.

Ds2 used to wake up every couple of hours from midnight , now he sleeps from 7 til 7. Good times.

Feel the same about being hurt by being ignored, and especially when DS then cannot understand why his needs are not responded to immediately when rudely expressed. Because he is 8 and seems quite articulate it is SO hard not to feel he is just being a little s**t and doing it on purpose.

The rational mum in me understands, the tired fraught one does not and just gets angry and/or cries ... Then I feel guilty when it becomes obvious that he really has not even registered me at all.

We have the same where he won't do anything we suggest either.

Would recommend melatonin as new recruit! Ours was prescribed by a psychiatrist. Still have a real struggle at bedtime, but now it stops by about 9.30/10 instead of 11.

Thanks..good to know I am not alone, although sorry that others cry because of it too!

DS is like this you ask him something and he looks through you like you don't exist or tells you to fuckoff go away, today we had a BBQ for dd1's 19th birthday and he just stayed in his room with the curtains and window closed.
It's a different story when it's something he's interested in like computers he'll talk the hind legs of a donkey then.
He doesn't sleep either he readily admits it's usually 2am at the earliest but at almost 16 I've given up trying.

Yes, it's awful. From our social perspective it is the height of rudeness, but they don't see it that way and they aren't doing it deliberately, they just don't feel like they should respond. They have no internal regulator making them feel that not doing ins't acceptable socially.

Mostly I can deal with it, sometimes I cry, and sometimes throught sheer frustration I scream at him, and grab him and force him to look at me. I don't do it often, but the thing that sadens me most about my reaction, is that whilst it is rare from me, the rest of the world will not have the understanding to make it rare from them. DS will be labelled as rude, indignant, lazy, non-complient etc etc, which also makes me sad.

And on top of all that I just don't have the relationship with him that I dreamed I would. The engagement and reward doesn't exist like it does with my dd. Every interaction is HARD work and ongoing frustration. I get little back from it.

So don't feel that it is just you. It's us too.

Yup here too
on a good day I forget about ds2s quirks.. And it's then I struggle the most when the non responsive bit comes in.

So, I suppose it doesn't get easier really, you just get tougher and get used to it.

Star you are right, a lot of it is because I know I am missing out on a relationship with her, and I don't think I will have another child now, so will never know that close relationship with your child.

Someone said to me when she was born "oh a little girl, she will be your little pal for life"...and that HAUNTS me.

'So, I suppose it doesn't get easier really, you just get tougher and get used to it'

sometimes I don't know about anyone else byt there are still times when I have a good cry.

Someone said to me when she was born "oh a little girl, she will be your little pal for life"..'

'Someone said to me when she was born "oh a little girl, she will be your little pal for life"..'
DH and I was discussing something like this last week but in reverse ds is really against social occasions no matter how small and dh was a bit down about simple things like taking him for his first pint, it's unlikely to happen.

Felt a little more heartened today, we got bus to beach, she sat on bus and cuddled into me the whole time, and had a nice cuddle at the beach.

So glad to hear that! Something to try and hang onto in those 'ignoring' moments.