I am being unreasonable - help me calm down & deal with DD's SENCO effectively

[Katymac]

She has been effectively blind and in school since 1st March

She has been having 2 hrs a week support regularly for PE/Games

She has occasional support for assessments

She has a 5 minute check in each day with a LSA

On 14th May I was told she has 25 hrs a week support approved by the "Single Area Panel" for "Sudden and Significant Medical (SSM)"

Since then I have had emails qualifying that saying it's only in principle, it has to be approved at County, then 2 dated 27th May:
"Some good news, support of 25 hours per week until the end of the term in July 2010 has been awarded. I then need to resubmit with continuing evidence to ensure continuing support for September 2010. The confirmation came to me by email last night after being awarded by the funding panel above SAP.
I am on the case to ensure this support is in place for our return after the half-term break and will move as quickly as physically possible."
& 7th June
"XXX have just in the last half hour telephoned to officially confirm that funding of 25 hours has been allocated to support DD"

So what do I do now - I have a meeting to discuss this nonexistent support with the SENCO

What should I say

bump

Oh so quiet

Are they needing to recruit someone to work with her? What do they say about the lack of TA in lessons?

They are recruiting someone - but as the funding only lasts until end of term I am sceptical

& what about the time she has had no-one?

& what about her little friend who is helping her - it's not fair on her

Last Monday they promised 3 hrs a day until they recruited someone & she hasn't had any extra yet

No advice as not in UK - but I'm sorry your dd's sight is still not returned; I hope you get some more help soon.

Thanks stleger

I really am getting desperate she will have lost nearly half a year as will her friend

So we have an appointment for Friday morning; that means another week without support.

DD will have had 13 weeks at school with virtually no support

How will that make her feel? How unimportant to others is she (in her mind)?

Questions are now:

Do you think it acceptable that DD has been in school for 14 weeks with 2 hrs a week support?

How do you think she feels that no adult supports her in class?

How do you think her self esteem is at the moment?

My heart is in my mouth every time I send her to school; will today be the day she falls down the stairs or is knocked into the wall or trips over something on the floor; surely her care and safety is more important than her education?

When DD is at school she relies on another child to remember to make sure she is safe; is this appropriate?

How is it fair that another child reads her lessons? Surely this affects this child?s education?

When I spoke to you on the phone last Monday (7th June) we discussed that DD would be able to be supported for about 3 hours a day with spare capacity now that the year 11 children have left. I was also promised a tentative timetable detailing which lessons this support would be in.

I know I am putting both you and the school under unbearable pressure with regard to DD, her safety and her education, however I am deeply concerned about her time at school during this impossibly stressful and upsetting time. I have been and am extremely impressed with the way the school has brought in support in the form of Sensory Support, most especially the care Mrs M has provided.

However she is still unsupported in class on a regular basis; this ought not to continue.

Is it too aggressive?

Katymac, this is just unacceptable.

Totally different scenario, but when my dd1 (ASD) was a tnursery, we got emergency funding for extra help, which the nursery didn't do anyhting with for ages.

Have the funds been paid to the school?

we ended up threatening the nursery with a claim of misuse of funds, as they had had the money for so long and yet not got any extra help for dd1 - funnily eough, they found someone within 2 days of tht

As hard as it is, can you get oyur dds friend ot stop helping her? As oyu say, it is not fair on either girl.

In the world of SN, it is those who shout the loudest who get the help (unfortunate, but true) If you dd and her friend are working out a system that, effectively, takes the heat off the teacher/TA/LSA/Senco etc, then no extra help will be found. You, your dd, her friend, etc all need to complain lots, and loudly, that work is not being doen effectively.

And the school MUST find someone - assuming they have the moneynow, they can find someone. It does not need ot be anyone with specialist skills, as such, surely? SO a supply teacher, or similar form an agency would do. MAybe your dd would end up with less than 25 hours this way (due to higher expense for the assistant) but she would have more than she is currently getting.

oh, and I would say your questions are not aggressive neough.

Try to move away form emotions and feelings - I know it must be awful for your dd, but itisi not the schools job to ensure she is happy. I is their job to ensure she is safe, and educated.

Bring it all back down to basics. THAve your dd at her worst, not coping point, in your mind. Talk about each scenario as though she is at that worst point. DO not admit any amount of coping - they will seize on it and think it lets them off the hook wrt helping out.

So, you worry she might fall down the stairs? "dd is extremely unstable on the stairs, especially at busy periods. she has, mor than once, stumbled. It is unacceptable tha thse is left to cope with this when other pupils are rushing about form one lesson to the next".

ANother child ishelping her? "I am disappointed that feels she needs ot rely on XXXX for support during lessons. THis is unacceptable, both for XXXX and dd. What are you doing ot ensure dd can carry on her work without constantly interrupting, and holding back, XXXX? (btw, does XXXX's parents know the extent of this? can you get them onside about this too? if they shout about it not being fair on their daughter, it may help)

"Last week I was told I would have a timetable of support. COuld I have a copy of that please? How is finding the 3 hours support, now?"

Always put the onus on the school to explain why the support is not there. State hwat you want, stateit smply and baldly. Alway talk about worst case scenarios. And expect answers - do NOT give them any let out like "I know you are doing all you can" - they AREN'T. You are not doing this for fun, neither is your dd. SHe needs help, and you need to get it for her.

They have the 25hrs funding (maybe) & only started recruiting last week - & CRBs must be completed before they start work

anyoneform an agency would already have a crb inplace which would hold, surely, while they sought another if necessary? (sorry, not up to speedon this)

given the non- educational side ot the support (sorry if I am wrong on htis, but your dd "just" needs someone to help her read and facilitate ehr work, and to get around safely?) then they could find a nanny/childminder type to help with htis, surely?

it's about thinking outside the box, really.

Yes I suggested that (I have staff) but it's not acceptable neither is DH or I or her Grandma coming in to help

why is it not acceptable? (I can half see their point re: relatives)

THisi s where we got to with dd1's funding. Apparently, by th e time they got around to noticing the funds were in the bank , it was too late togo about getting her any help, due to the reasons you've described.

So we accused them of mis-use of funds.

Thy found someone sharpish.

Those funds are there for your dd. TO get ehr the help she needs.

I understand the school need someone to be CRB'd, but that is all they need.

If they are sayign it is impossible to find osmeone at short notice - what od they do when a teacher or two go sick? Not teach those children? or find someoen at short notice?

THis is what I mean by having to shout loudest. they are fobbing oyu off with nonsense, or at the very least not explaining fully why other arrangements are not possible. IT is their duty ot get help for your dd, and she needs it NOW,not in 2 months time for a few days at the end of term...

Oh I don't know

It all runs out at the end of July & needs to be reapplied for

you need toask them why they are delayinggetting ht ehelp your dd needs.

you need to give themenough rope to hng themselves.

it iwll not makeoyu popular, but it will get the help for your dd.

they need ot giveoyu proper reasoning why your staff cannot help out, especially as this is a temp emergencymeasure anyway.

They can't help because they aren't CRB'd by the school

Why the space staff now yr 11's have left can't be used, I don't know

I just feel so powerless

Have you spoken to your MP and local councillors? (That is what people do in Ireland!)

Oh I don't know

I really don't want to cause a fuss maybe I should copy the head in on the email?

if oyu don't cause a fuss, then school wil maintain the wholly unsatisfactory status quo.

In their eyes, its a win-win. your dd is getting help(form another class member), and you aren't complaining, so thereofre must be happy.

honestly, if you want proper help for your dd, then you need to stamp your feet a bit, as does she. it's crap, but that's the system.

what did you decide re: statement, btw?

Support this week
DLA next week
Statement the week after

Maybe?

The head doesn't have an email only and 'office' email

I don't want to put the SENCO's back up but I am really considering ringing the head

What have I got to lose?

exactly.

the worst is that you'll bethought of as a pushy parent.

they may not like you making a fuss, but if they were even outting into place the provision that they said they would (which imo is not enough) then you would not be doing so.

beware statement wise - there is a clause in the COP which covers them doing sod all over the summer months if the application isn't in within ?2 weeks of the end of term (not sure on timescales - someone on SN board would know, or IPSEA, SOS!SEN etc) you need to get it in soonest, as it takes up to 6 months ot put in place anyway, without delays

I was made to tone it down a bit
"Just to confirm our meeting on Friday this week, I understand Mrs M will also be attending.

I know I am putting both you and the school under unbearable pressure with regard to DD, her safety and her education, however I am deeply concerned about her time at school during this impossibly stressful and upsetting time. I have been and am extremely impressed with the way the school has brought in support in the form of Sensory Support, most especially the care Mrs M has provided.

However she is still unsupported in class on a regular basis; this ought not to continue.

I am completely confused by the whole situation with regard to this funding and her support. I have no idea how this ?system? works and I am confused by the conflicting information I have been given (by email on 14/5, 27/5 & 7/6) presumably because ?county? changes their mind.

She is ?lost? at school on occasions (usually when her friends forget her).
She is suffering with panic attacks before school.
We are concerned at the extra pressure this adds to her current mental state.
Her friends parents are concerned about the level of support their children are providing, the amount of work not completed in class, and are discussing how this can be resolved.

I look forward to discussing these issues with you."

Sigh

So I sent it

Well that didn't go down well