My LA is severely disabled. I challenge you to a multi-disciplinary thread to diagnose!

[StarOfValkyrie]

grrrrr!

Have you tried a positive parenting course with your LA?

I suggest puting these difficulties to Netmums for their input, and Bounty and then arranging a integrated Team approach to the diagnosis.

I am a highly respected child and adolescent psychiatrist-eminent in my field-and therefore paid vasts amount to patronise you and focus on you and NOT your LA.
It is my considered opinion(which has taken all of 5mins), that your LAs social and emotional difficulties are of YOUR doing. If only you would spend time PLAYING with your LA the problems will cease. Also, as far as your concern that LA has mobility issues, well I find that is down to the wearing of bulky pull-up pants, so again, go on a toilet training course and hey-presto-GONE be the mobility problems.(Im soooo good I surprise myself sometimes!!)
I shall in due course send you a report on my findings,which will be VASTLY different to those I send to all other interested parties.(Where I will slag you off BIG time).
In the meantime, if you experience any more difficulties, may I suggest you PISS-OFF and consult TAKE-A-BREAK for some useful parenting tips.
Yours, Ms I M Wonderful.

Your LA is articulate and sensative, showing great empathy for those they come into contact with learnt social responises.

I have read a letter by someone who has little contact with your LA and this has given me great insite in to your LA, this and the fact that I have met them for a total of 11/2 hours during six hours of appointments. Leads me to shut your LAs file. However you are welcome to contact us again if the problems you are claiming do not cease.(this actually means don't call or get in touch again).

It is a different professionals opinion that you LA has in fact been emtionally neglected as a baby due to it's biological fathers breakdown ( I have made this bit up as it sounds good and passes the buck, I have no idea if the LAs father has actually had a mental breakdown or not).

Speak to your LA in short sentances and try Reading a story.
If you see your LA getting stressed and heading for a , what you are calling, meltdown. Try distracting your LA.

Now please would you go away as my case load is high and I don't have enough funding, nor do I actually want to be arsed to do anything..

There are others with greater needs than your LA who are considered a priority at the present time and who we are also failing to help wherever possible.

But my LA spends all day in self-stimulatory behaviour and never progresses!

Dear Dr DoAsYouAreToldByUsExperts,

Thank you for referring this patient to me. On the day she was seen, LA presented as an outgoing happy LA, who displayed no abnormal behaviour for the whole 2 minutes-- of the consultation. The mother appears very anxious. I can see no reason why I need to be arsed for further investigations and am therefore discharging this patient.

Thank you and remember I do not want to hear from you again.

Regards,

etc.

Dear mum
I am in total agreement that your LA will gain maturity without any help. That fact that you say nothing has changed regarding the LAs issues in many years will not stop then gaining social maturity and they will eventually understand social, empathic and communication gven time.
I see no obessional or stimming issues even though your LA sat in the meeting organising the things around them whilst bouncing about like tigger!

Dear Multi-disciplinary panel,

I am submitting my report as a tip-top expert SENCO. My credentials are watertight. I spend several Mondays watching 'Autistic and Stagestruck' (didn't you cry at the end, bless?)and I have seen Rainman.

This LA clearly presents as non-autistic as it was nothing like the kids on that programme nor does it resemble Dustin Hoffman. Autistic kids hit everyone don't they? And don't they also recite phone books? Well, this LA is nothing like that.

I rest my case.

I have of course based these stereotypical judgments on observation. I have, of course, never spoken directly to or spent time with this LA. But you will appreciate that I must prioritise my time by focusing on the children who make a different to our league table position.

Have you thought about a CAF?

Yours fraternally undermining the SEN pathway

SENCO

But it enjoys going round and round in circles.

And flaps when given a difficult question.

And even when it is forced by tribunal to offer provision, it fails to generalise this to other children with similar issues!

I recommend that those working in close contact with this LA, go on a 3 hour training course which will be delivered through the video medium and involve a man good at card reading and show the journey of his brother at trying to understanding him.

(btw, my response from the LA, says that this is age-appropriate behaviour)

No, actually, it is quite practised at discriminating, but I think it has been on a training course!

And I'd say 'further investigation is needed in due course'

yes, and those categories of understanding are very limited indeed, do to its inability to do 'shared understanding'. or 'shared attention' for that matter!

Do you think I should blow some bubbles at it?

Yes, that's it! DO you have an LA like that too? Let's start a support group at an inaccessible location and time, and then close it down due to poor take up!