Trying to keep a sense of proportion here about social issues

[lingle]

I do find I am struggling to keep a sense of proportion about DS2's social issues.
anyone else?

I guess it's because of my family history - you feel like you're back in that place with history repeating itself!

he's doing really well socially.

yep. all I ever wanted for my child was for them not to suffer socially as I did .

and I feel caught in the middle - as not being quite a parent of an NT child but Ds not being seen as severe enough for me to be accepted in the local ASD/social communication disorder support group.

there's more in the pot where that came from.

you got any gin .

it's awkward - as DS's problems are relatively mild compared to many of the other kids on here. or should I say seem to be mild so far, as I feel there is always the scope for school to go massively tits up further down the line... so you are one of the few posters I feel I can wail at without seeming to be .....unloading insensitively...

Coffee with largesmall scotch in it please since your doing drinks

Total chaos your never insenstive so unload away .think we all see what our dc are going through and so wish if was different even if they don't seem to notice it

yes, I know.

actually, I'm going to have a lager right here and right now.

Oh I got cider virtual snake bites anyone

"Harris from his first year at school had
been fated to see how quickly new boys grew up: one term
he was their kindly mentor the next he was discarded." [from The Heart of the Matter - Greene]

So, I can see that Ds2 is going to be fine at the whole "hello, I'm DS2" thing one day. He already wanders up to appropriate children and issues invitations like "do you want to come to my house?" and "do you want to bounce on the trampoline with me?".

But I can see how fast the neighbourhood kids change and progress. DS2's wants everyone to stay the same while he catches up to them.

At this rate I'll be changing his peer group once a year!

lager goes to my head quickly, you know

have had half a cider (enough to make me maudlin evidently) . Granted DS has made remarkably good ground since he was 3 - but there's so much in terms of questioning the world around him - that's new to him that an articulate NT 3 year old would be getting to grips with - will that inevitably hamper his social skills, or is there something else on top, spectrummy/semantic pragmatic disorder.

roundthebend4 have you name-changed? please provide a clue.

TC, do you still do a lot of "is it language or ASd"-type wondering then?

How's his dad about it all? you guys still together, yes?

Do you think you still lack confidence? I think this would have hit me a lot harder ten years ago.

My parents handled my brother's problems badly. At one point, my father announced that the problem was "the curse of the Covingtons" (mother's maiden name). Not a good approach really is it?

We were a most peculiar household, and I don't mean good peculiar.

Oh sorry it's Phoenix Ds has social and communication disorder but is related to his sli so does not have lit of the problems others do but I watched him in ms play on his own a lot as his peers lacclerate away yet ge loves to play with other children

Ds has sli without a doubt but that doss not explain his receptive problems

And argh typing iPhone after cider increases the typos

hiya phoenix.

Hi
looking back I was always a loner even am now in lots of ways wanted ds not to suffer that

Lingle - yes, all the bloody time. Heart of hearts, I think he is on the spectrum by way of Semantic Pragmatic Disorder. Even though I did go through the DX process with him, it was a bit un-thorough (one 1.5 hour session) so I don't have full confidence in the inconclusive result. but then NHS SALT (well when we had one!) and school don't have concerns re ASD

DH - yes we are together - DH swings between he is/isn't. DH is more spectrummy than me in some ways - less sociable and has special interests (mainly transport related), so thinks as long as DS is happy, that's the main thing.

lacking in confidence - yes, absolutely. I was so hit for six by everything a few years back that I was in delayed reaction mode, and not really critically questioning what I was told at the time.

I think as well that having only one child, who has SN, does alienate me a bit from mainstream parenting....

roundthebend,

so the three of us are all thinking about things we suffered or watched our siblings suffer.

Oh well, at least it's not just me.

"I was in delayed reaction mode"
presumably also sort of full of dread and fear because what was happening was what you had wanted not to happen?
or did it take a while to link the language problem with later social difficulty?

"not really critically questioning what I was told at the time.". Yes, I see.

Can also see singleton status adding on a whole new layer.

What do you think would help you now?

what will help - me getting my head out of the sand, and rebooking private SALT, in particular to test his receptive language skills (I want clarity on whether he is still officially delayed), and to have a chat about pragmatics/social skills.

I suppose I feel a bit frustrated by the language delay "label" or lack of it - as DS is 6, I think either he has some sort of disorder or he doesn't.... not that disorder is any sort of golden ticket but...It does my head in tbh, that officially DS has no problems when so evidently he does. Much as I would love to live in denial, I can't.

right. sounds like you have a plan.

off to bed now. thanks for helping me get my head a bit clearer.