Trying to keep a sense of proportion here about social issues

[lingle]

I do find I am struggling to keep a sense of proportion about DS2's social issues.
anyone else?

I guess it's because of my family history - you feel like you're back in that place with history repeating itself!

he's doing really well socially.

TotalChaos, you know anytime you want to "talk" with me, or meet up, I'm happy, don't you?

Think if aspergers wAs better known when I was younger I would probably fit into that box where instead I was just seen as loner and a bit aloof but in reality I was no good meeting people even now I struggle

Total chaos good luck sometimes thinking out loud give us chance to organise plan the next step

One reason for the thread title is that sometimes I forget that DS2 will form his self-esteem from his relationship with mother father and brother, not from playing with betty and polly down the street. Lack of social success with the kids on the street might then dent or damage that self-esteem, and we will dress the wound, but it's never going to be the real source of strength.

So I kind of think that the key is for us to cultivate happiness and companionship as a family.

TC, we're all spending the long weekend in Manchester - a bit closer to you. You busy? Wondering if I could sneak out of the hotel for an hour or two or meet SAturday morning at a softplay somewhere. But maybe you're much further away - can't remember.

Or when Kettlechip finally moves up north we'll have a big gang meetup!

hmmm - I do agree it's important for a home to be a haven, and for your close family to be your number one fan - but I think whether someone craves social acceptance or not is something separate. I did, DH didn't - which I suspect is why I have a history of mental health issues (though mind you OCD is not exactly unheard for as aspie comorbid ), and DH doesn't. Mind I do think expectations of girls and women socially tend to be higher.

re:weekend - is that this weekend or next? this weekend sat may be awkward, sun or mon would be better - otherwise I live fairly near Manc.

I think i worry more about dd1 than dd2, dd1 is very sociable/over sociable, last year (reception) she had loads of friends now she only has a few as the rest have got fed up with her constant talking and waving things in front of peoples faces. She really wants to be friends with every one but most children don't want to talk about maps and earthquakes , she's starting to notice that she doesn't have many friends and she's no longer happy to play by herself. I worry about what the future holds for her, she so wants to pe popular .

Dd2 does not really communicate with children other than her sister but plays along side them, she wouldn't notice if she had friends or not and is happy to be near people or on her own, i guess its too early to know what she will be like socially as it could improve.

TC, meet for drink Sun night? I could leave DH in the hotel with the boys. Or Mon. morning at some softplay or other if you want a whole family encounter including DS1

Marne, poor darling. does she tend to monologue?

Now that's she's noticing, would she work on the skills with you? Trouble for me is, it's easy to teach the "how to start a conversation" skill but then it all goes pear-shaped and breaks down half way through!

I think I'd find it harder to bear with a daughter because the memories would be that much more vivid and directly applicable.

Marne , it's so difficult. My advice, FWIW, is don't send her to a single sex school for high school if at all possible, and if you can find one with good lunchtime clubs that would also be good. I really floundered at a girl's high school, went from happily playing tag etc at juniors to being left out of girly cliques chatting.

lingle - will mail you.

lingle, she does monologue. She will work on the skills with me, i try and do role play with her (social situations), she likes to be in charge and gets upset when people don't like her ideas , she keeps asking me 'why doesn't anyone want to play my games, i have great ideas but no one will listen' . Sometimes she hangs around with the teacher at break time, the teachers love her to bits but i would be happier if she spent playtime playing with children. At the moment the older children look out for her and she has made friends with an older boy who i think is on the spectrum to. She seems to have a good day (where she finds someone to play with) followed by 2 or 3 bad days where she feels left out.

She has asked to join french club with a friend which might do her good.

shouldn't that be "don't send anyone to a single sex girls' school?"