Unhelpful suggestions

[MiladyDeWinter]

DS (ASD) has never slept through the night. Usually he is awake for a few hours when the rest of the household is in bed too.

He is almost three and we have been given Melatonin from the Paed which doesn't seem to dent it, but is worth trying IYSWIM?

We have had ten bad nights in a row. My Dad came to see me earlier and I was about to get a cab somewhere a bit later.

He asked why I didn't just walk there and I said that I was quite tired (had already walked around town to get DS to nap at around midday rather than at five or six) and that I had been up most of the night.

My Dad's solution?

(You will all be amazed at the originality of this suggestion )

"When you're at the doctor's just ask him for something to sort out his sleep"

Well if only I had thought of that!

I know he will never understand and must think that DH and I are very stupid, but he is an intelligent man himself! Surely he remembers that we have been to the GP several times about this even before diagnosis.

Anyone else had any genius advice lately?

I had someone suggest that I take the boys for a run around some local field for some exercise. I bit my tongue rather than suggest to her that the end result of that would be one high up a tree while the other sat in a ditch eating cowpats, since I'd already countered several other things she'd said to me.

a community paediatrician suggested that DS2 should go to a parent and toddler group and maybe er...get out a bit more. That would sort his autism right out.

She was less helpful about how to negotiate the screaming, the head banging and the violent tantrums when we er... got out a bit more.

My dad once told me to stop thinking about it so much too. that helped.

SS suggested that DS should take up more hours at the school that is failing him in order to meet his 5 outcomes.

This apparently is also the solution to my request for respite.

'Make sure you tell the tribunal how rubbish the LA provision is.'

Lots of people suggest this

"just let him be a little boy"

Oh I get that too. Sometimes I do let him be a little boy far too much when he lines things up and spins all day as I spend hours on the phone trying to get him a few supported hours of pre-school... I feel very guilty about that but I can't win

My sister's advice was the best:

"Just tell him not to do the weird things and then slap him if he does them"

minutes before she had a call from her DS's school saying that my nephew had shat himself for the third time that day. In year two.

And she is furious that my DS has a dx whereas she has been told to attend a parenting course...

when mum heard DD2's echolalia the other day, I said "now you see why shes being assessed" her reply was "nah shes just funny"
its really not funny when you have to hear dora or peppa pig repeated again and constant, "help me, help me helpme"

Ooh, and I had the classic one from my hairdresser the other day:

"But my DS lines his toys up too and is fussy with his food"

Gaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

The nice lady at SNAP told me to talk about the triad of impairments plus SPD until the eyes glaze over

lisa I sympathise, DS doesn't do the echolalia now but if "Timmy Time" isn't always on all day there is HELL to pay!

oh we get that alot!

Tv isnt on alot in our house, as we are out alot, but she has a few firm fav, but she finds it most funny to copy her sister and saying "stop copying me" which really winds her up as DD1 takes her seriously (HFA)

We're out a lot swimming (gym member) and the park most days but Timmy has to be on when we are in or DS shrieks like a Banshee deprived of crack.

He doesn't watch it, does puzzles and builds towers or his lining up things but it has to be on in the background.

Your DDs sound very cute, lisa

yes they are cute, they look like butter wouldnt melt to most people but trust me, they drive me potty

Very rewarding I bet they are, lisa, and totally gorgeous too

Great responses to this thread, running around and going to toddler groups as a cure-all, what bolleaux

I have just returned from the GP who described DS' autism as a variable and non-permanent condition in the Blue Badge letter!

I'm very interested in that, because I thought that ASD was a life-long condition. Perhaps my GP knows something we don't?

Had this one from my dad when DS was toe-walking and humming.

'oh but all children do like to do funny walks sometimes, it's part of playing!'

these ones from my sister
' but he looks normal!', ' my ds does do the lining up and playing with doors now and then'

her latest one. Grrr...
she was telling me her ds (4, same age as my ds) was answering back badly, so i tell B doesn't as he hasn't got the language for that yet, but he does say no to everything !
Her reply: ' oh well, at least that's something positive about asd then!'

!!!

"he'll talk when he's ready". and anything involving Einstein.

Unfortunately we had the same problem. My daughter loves repeating thing from TV program or she repeats what I ask/say to her. Family says; oh, shes funny or shell grow out of it. Well shes been doing it for 2 years and still going. Shes also a picky eater and refuses to eat meat, pasta, rice, etc. My familys thought on it: Im spoiling her, not parenting right or I shouldnt give her anything else beside meat and rice, shell just have to eat it. I said to them she wont eat at all than ( tried it and I had to give her something to eat, because her immun system is a little weak as it is). They said Im just making excuses.
Daughter also has her tantrums and Im able to calm her down, but family again said she just need a smack on her bottom. I was lost for words!!!! Family - although they say they just trying to help - arent much of a help really. They don`t understand what we go through every day.

Because my DS (ASD 3.9) watches countdown and Deal or no Deal he is "probably going to be an accountant so don't be worrying about him". Sometimes you just have to laugh!

I hate when people say " well all children do that" . or " oh, shes really funny" or " Im just reading into thing too much, theres nothing wrong with her, all children do things like that I just have to be firmer." These people just really dont get it!!!!

I think they make me more fustrating than anything else, especially if it`s within family!

I was out with my aunty yesterday and she kept telling me "Mothers do" such and such, like I wasn't one!

i.e. mothers get rid of the buggy to make their lives easier, DD (ASD? hypotonia/delays/poor balance) is 3.5 now!

(she had first trip out without buggy altogether yesterday and I was delighted and felt it was an achievement!)

ds when around 9 months and not sitting (has cp) advice from mil
just let him fall backwards, he'll eventually learn that flopping everywhere doesn't get him anywhere!
from SIL when ds was having petit mal seizures (triggered by distress) just leave him to cry himself to sleep, thats what i did with my 2 they soon learnt!

i get the just make him walk the wheelchairs going to make him lazy .That will of course stop him falling over and sobbing in pain

.ds has severe hypermoblity and extreme low muscle tone and something else yet undx