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Hello - could someone speak to me about Asperger's please?

30 replies

MamaG · 23/03/2010 19:12

DD is 10 abnd in year 6

we moved house/area/school in Dec and she's had a bit of trouble settling at shocol

more info here

Went into school last night and her teacher said a few of the staff had discussed her in sthe staff room and thought she showed signs of Asperger's. Have asked school senco to get involved to see if we can find out if this is the case

I am woefully uninformed about this TBH and could do with some pointers/advcie

Old school never said anything like this and they knew her VERy well, small school, excellent teacher etc

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 23/03/2010 19:25

Hi MamaG, have a look at this list and see if anything rings a bell.

Main characteristics
Difficulties with social relationships.
Not picking up signals and info that NTs take for granted such as facial expressions, intonation and inferred information.

Difficulties with communication.
May speak fluently but take little notice of reactions, may monologue, may not be aware of audience's feelings or reactions.
May be over-precise, formal or literal in speech. Jokes, metaphors, sayings, figurative language may cause total confusion, stress, meltdowns etc.

Difficulties with social imagination, imaginative play and flexible thinking.
This one causes some confusion as people say 'Well, he plays with his lego and makes up stories and has imagination, so...?'
It's the social aspect of imaginative play that can cause difficulties. If the child is in total control of their 'world' and setting the agenda, then they are being imaginative. AS children find it difficult to play when other individuals are involved that have different ideas or who don't perform as expected, unlike a lego or toy figure.
Abstract thinking is another area of difficulty, although the child may learn facts and figures easily, dealing with abstract concepts, without clear outcomes may be a challenge. Subjects like literature, religion and philosophy.

They may also be:
socially awkward and clumsy in social relationships with others
naive and gullible, a good rule of thumb is that many Aspies function at an emotional age 2/3 that of their chronological age.
unaware of how others feel
unable to carry on a 'give and take' conversation
upset by any change in routines and transitions, often undetectable to NTs
literal in speech and understanding
overly sensitive to lights, noise, odours, tastes and tactile sensations again often undetectable by NTs
have fixed interests or obsessions
physically awkward in sports, often those that require simultaneous application of different skills.
Not a team player in any sense.
Possibly
have an unusually accurate memory for details
sleeping or eating issues that cause problems
trouble understanding and processing things they have heard or read
Inappropriate facial expressions or body language
unusual speech patterns, repetitive or irrelevant remarks
stilted, formal speech
overly loud, high or monotonous voice
stims that may involve rocking, fidgeting, joint cracking, humming, pacing...

There are several regular posters here with daughters who have Asperger's.
I have a 15 year old DS.

WetAugust · 23/03/2010 19:26

Hi

A visit to your GP to discuss your concerns and ask for a referral to a diagnostician is the best and quickest route.

School can guess at any possible Aspergers but it's only the health services that can make a formal dx.

imahappycamper · 23/03/2010 19:35

Girls can be a bit more difficult to diagnose because apparently they become good at copying the behvaiour of others and this masks their lack of social understanding.
The National Autistic Society has a website, but I know from past experience that trying to find out information specifically about girls is not as easy because most diagnosed cases are boys.
You do need to be referred to someone qualified to make a diagnosis though and your GP can help with this. Be prepared though, because when I went to the GP and said that my son had been diagnosed with Aspergers he said he was sorry, but he didn't know anything about it as they only had one other patient with it in the Practice.

Fel1x · 23/03/2010 19:39

hi goblinchild - where did you get that info from - is it a website?
my ds is 4yo with aspergers and i find it hard to explain sometimes - that info sums it up perfectly, would love to have a website similar to refer family etc to....

Goblinchild · 23/03/2010 19:48

I wrote it.

I found Tony Attwood's guide to Aspergers so useful, I bought the school a copy.

Goblinchild · 23/03/2010 19:50

It's a sort of cobbled together list of bits from different sources and simplified so that teachers could use it if they were looking for reasons behind behaviour. With bits added courtesy of DS, like the 'Doesn't do imaginative play'

CharlieBoo · 23/03/2010 20:13

I find these lists fascinating I must admit. I know very little about aspergers, but alot of those traits many children without aspergers will have. For example my ds and all his friends all want to play 'their' games, they all have fixed obsessions, I.e ben 10, they don't want to give and take. Part of me thinks the world is currently intent on labelling children. I would feel somewhat bewildered that your dd is 10 and nothing mentioned at previous school. What does she do that makes them think this? Hugs x

Goblinchild · 23/03/2010 20:24

There's always one.

Fel1x · 23/03/2010 20:45

thats a great summary goblinchild
would you mind if i copied some of it to make my own page to print for people?

sorry for hijack OP. I hope that you get some answers soon x

siblingrivalry · 23/03/2010 20:46

Goblinchild, that list you wrote is fantastic. It could have been written especially for dd1, thanks for doing that. You certainly know your stuff.

Charlieboo, the differences lie in the effect these traits have on the lives of children with AS. And the fact that these traits are evident in large numbers, whereas a NT child would only 'tick' a few boxes.

As for MamaG's dd getting to 10 without any questions being raised -I am not remotely surprised. AS presents very differently in girls and it is frighteningly easy to overlook and for the child to be labelled as 'eccentric' or 'sensitive'.

MamaG, please try not worry, it may be that the staff at your dd's school are seeing some traits of AS which ring a few bells for them. However, your dd will need a full assessment before a dx is given and it is usually a thorough procedure.

Has the school recommended a referral for her?

Goblinchild · 23/03/2010 20:47

Help yourself.

CharlieBoo · 23/03/2010 21:36

Thanks siblingrivalry, I guessed that more/all boxes would be ticked. As a mum of a sensitive child it does worry me that these things can be so overlooked and symptoms missed from one school to another. I hope you get some answers soon MamaG.

Take a chill pill goblinchild, I'm not a baddie x

Goblinchild · 23/03/2010 21:39

Not a baddie, it's just about the seventy billionth time I've heard a parent/relative/observer of NT children trot out the same ignorant, predictable line of 'Ooooh yes, our Johnny does that too'

Sazisi · 23/03/2010 23:21

My DD2 has AS. She is wonderful and quite intense.

This is quite a good overview, courtesy of Tony Attwood:

"From my clinical experience I consider that children and adults with Asperger?s Syndrome have a different, not defective, way of thinking. The person usually has a strong desire to seek knowledge, truth and perfection with a different set of priorities than would be expected with other people. There is also a different perception of situations and sensory experiences. The overriding priority may be to solve a problem rather than satisfy the social or emotional needs of others. The person values being creative rather than co-operative. The person with Asperger?s syndrome may perceive errors that are not apparent to others, giving considerable attention to detail, rather than noticing the ?big picture?. The person is usually renowned for being direct, speaking their mind and being honest and determined and having a strong sense of social justice. The person may actively seek and enjoy solitude, be a loyal friend and have a distinct sense of humour. However, the person with Asperger?s Syndrome can have difficulty with the management and expression of emotions. Children and adults with Asperger?s syndrome may have levels of anxiety, sadness or anger that indicate a secondary mood disorder. There may also be problems expressing the degree of love and affection expected by others. Fortunately, we now have successful psychological treatment programs to help manage and express emotions."

MamaG · 24/03/2010 06:49

Thanks al ot for the messages. Im going to read them tonight (or tomorrow) when i have more time as I want to fully concentrate.

A lot of the things are ringin bells, a lot of the things don't apply but I guess that would be the case wouldnt it

Really appreciaet you taking the time to post, thank you

OP posts:
pagwatch · 24/03/2010 10:42
WedgiesMum · 24/03/2010 13:19

Goblinchild - love that summary. Hope you don't mind but printed it off and took it into the school where I work to give to SENCO and a couple of the class teachers! Think it will be really helpful for them. (DS is at same school and has AS, they are awesome with him but I think what you wrote was very succint and helpful for others).

Goblinchild · 24/03/2010 16:36

As my little list has been so appreciated, would anyone else like to borrow the mental image I focus on when 'taking a chill pill'?

www.greatdreams.com/war/sherman_flamethrower.jpg

aSilverlining · 24/03/2010 17:07

Sazisi, my DS has HFA and reading that list I expected to hear a lot of similarities to DS, which I did BUT I was more shocked that it summed me up rather succinctly!

MamaG it's good the school are noticing behaviour in your DD and trying to help her with it, whether she ends up with a certain DX or not it sounds like a supportive school.

Another point, the whole 'so many children getting labelled' schpiel simply sets me off on a dry sardonic laugh complete with eveil glares. The idea that is EASY to get your child a 'label' is literally laughable.

Sazisi · 24/03/2010 19:33

I know what you mean ASilverlining, DH and I are both quite Aspish but didn't realise it until DD2 got diagnosed - it does explain rather a lot!

MamaG · 24/03/2010 19:42

Main characteristics
Difficulties with social relationships.
Yes we aer finding this, She had a couple fo really good friends at odl school but is struggling

Not picking up signals and info that NTs take for granted such as facial expressions, intonation and inferred information.

No, she can understand my various faces etc!

Difficulties with communication.
May speak fluently but take little notice of reactions, may monologue, may not be aware of audience's feelings or reactions.

No I wouldn't say this. But school say she doesn't listen to other kids and take their opinions on board - find it v different at home.

May be over-precise, formal or literal in speech. Jokes, metaphors, sayings, figurative language may cause total confusion, stress, meltdowns etc.

Not at all.

Difficulties with social imagination, imaginative play and flexible thinking.
This one causes some confusion as people say 'Well, he plays with his lego and makes up stories and has imagination, so...?'
It's the social aspect of imaginative play that can cause difficulties. If the child is in total control of their 'world' and setting the agenda, then they are being imaginative. AS children find it difficult to play when other individuals are involved that have different ideas or who don't perform as expected, unlike a lego or toy figure.

I don't think so. She's quite happy for her friends/brother to have their own ideas and shares toys easiloy.

Abstract thinking is another area of difficulty, although the child may learn facts and figures easily, dealing with abstract concepts, without clear outcomes may be a challenge. Subjects like literature, religion and philosophy.

No.

They may also be:
socially awkward and clumsy in social relationships with others

I didn't think so - she's v good with adults and I always thought she was fine with kids, just since we moved we have had probs

naive and gullible, a good rule of thumb is that many Aspies function at an emotional age 2/3 that of their chronological age.

No moer than any other 1o yo i don't tihnk

unaware of how others feel

no, she's pretty sensitive to others feelings IMO although school disagrees

unable to carry on a 'give and take' conversation

def not

upset by any change in routines and transitions, often undetectable to NTs

Well not usually - but again, we've just moved house, school, county,

literal in speech and understanding

no

overly sensitive to lights, noise, odours, tastes and tactile sensations again often undetectable by NTs

no

have fixed interests or obsessions

no

physically awkward in sports, often those that require simultaneous application of different skills.

yes

Not a team player in any sense.

I'd say no, school would say yes

Possibly
have an unusually accurate memory for details

Very much so

sleeping or eating issues that cause problems

no

trouble understanding and processing things they have heard or read

no

Inappropriate facial expressions or body language

no

unusual speech patterns, repetitive or irrelevant remarks

no

stilted, formal speech

no

overly loud, high or monotonous voice

no

stims that may involve rocking, fidgeting, joint cracking, humming, pacing...

no

OP posts:
MamaG · 24/03/2010 19:44

OK. So school say that she's fidgety if she can't see waht's going on (ie assembly) - if something is not in her direct eyeline then she loses all interest.

Says she doesn't look adults in the eye when speakign to them.

Says she has to be told "turn your chair around adn look at the board" rather than just "look at the board" (eg)

Teacher was very hesitant in suggesting Asperger's. I just said "if she's got it, fine, at least we'll be able to help her out more"
he was quite taken aback, think he expected a different reaction.

SENCO at school is sending us forms - GP said that it would atke a lot longer if we did it through them, much quicker through school apparently.

OP posts:
Clarissimo · 24/03/2010 19:45

Mama if you facebook me (I accepted you yesterday I think) I may have some handoputs I can send you from my Uni course on ASD (Peachy)

MamaG · 24/03/2010 19:51

Thanks, I will

OP posts:
hormonesnomore · 24/03/2010 20:02

Just want to add another Thank You Goblinchild - still having difficulty understanding my ex-h's AS - your list is helping me with the many pieces of the jigsaw. I didn't realise the significance of his frequent humming for example. Reading your list is helping my sanity which has been severely tested lately.

I'm also understanding DS's difficulties too. I think it's a general opinion that AS is just one set of symptoms but it seems there are many degrees of it and we can be affected in smaller or greater ways.