Am i making moutains out of mole hills?

[claw3]

Honest opinions please.

Explained to CAMHS yesterday that the 3 visual cards that the school put into place for ds (although verbal, he cannot ask for help) have failed after 12 days because of the negative response he received from the school when he tried to use them.

He tried to use his 'overwhelmed' card at playtime and was sent to the Head Teacher for lying and received a sad face on his chart. After this he stopped using all his cards and he started self harming behaviour.

The school are insisting the cards have been a success and that he has stopped using his cards because he no longer feels overwhelmed.

CAHMS said they have spoken to the school and the school are stating that ds is happy in school and shows no signs of anxiety and that perhaps i should just accept this.

Ds has been sent home from school for pulling out his eyelashes to the extent of making his eye swollen and weeping (PE day). Also for being physical sick (PE day). He often claims he doesnt have his PE kit (when he does have it). Loses his clothes, puts on other peoples clothes and insists that these are his. Gets upset, says he feels sick on PE day.

Why i am the only one who can see the connection?

Am i making something out of nothing?

Sorry really ranting today, feel like just giving up.

NO, you are not the only one who would see a connection there. I am sorry you are dealing with such incompetant idiots.

In your position, I would start keeping a diary. does you ds show these self-injurious behaviours when with you at all? I'd start noting it all down. eg, ds doesn't like PE (presumably, from what you've written). does he say anything to you on PE days? or even the night before? make notes of it all, and then add in the results of his anxiety.

keep a strict record of when he is sent home for anxious behaviours, and make a point of asking the school immediately whether they tried anything to calm him. and get it all in writing. if the school will only talk to you, sned an email confirming the conversation.

this is a ridiculous situation for you to be in. it sounds as though everyone involved with your ds is ignoring his needs (or refusing to acknowledge them) because in their eyes, he isn't disabled at all.

have you asked the school how they can sya he is no longer feelig overwhelmed when he is self harming to the point that they cannot cope with hi,m? what is their answer to that?

at being sent to the Head and punished for using his 'overwhelmed' card!

It sounds to me as though they just don't get it at all. Their attitude is awful.

I keep a diary, CAMHS seemed to view this as me being bitter! (she didnt actually say that, but im not idiot!)

Ds knows he has PE that day, because he has to wear pants, from the moment his pants go on, he starts fretting, i dont want to go to school, i dont want to do PE, i feel sick. He couldnt make it any clearly.

CAMHS suggestion put pants on him everyday and he wouldnt know he had PE! I am adding to his anxiety but not putting pants on him everyday.

CAMHS asked him about school and he ignored her, when she asked again he began shaking his head and shouted NO, NO, NO, NO.

But the only advice they can offer is what i can do at home to try and help improve his sleeping.

His learning mentor phoned and asked me to go and get him because he had been pulling out his eyelashes and his eye was swollen and weeping and she thought he might have conjunctivitis. Took him straight to my GP who confirmed it was caused by him pulling out his eyelashes and not an infection.

School say its not self harming, its an ASD habit and CAMHS seem to agree!

What chance do i stand.

Copper, he was supposed to go and see his learning mentor when he used the card. The head tells me he was sent to her because his learning mentor wasnt available.

I have the smiley chart, where a note was written on the back that ds was being questioned by a teacher after claiming to have been hit, he was being untruthful and was sent to the Head. It actually says that. He also received a sad face on his chart for this playtime.

The school are passing it off as 'learning mentor wasnt available, we explained this to ds'

Do you get any input for SALT, OT etc, etc if you home ed?

Ask the school if they'd like an 'I'm not listening' card to use when you speak to them!

LOL Mallen, i like that.

Claw - I home-ed my three children, and they get between them OT, Physio, Hydro and SALT.

Thanks Pinkie for your reply. OT for example goes into school to make recommendations with the things he finds difficult, i was wondering whether they would give the same input in the home setting.

I would get heavy here, as your son is showing physical signs of emotional and psychological stress and is self-harming as the school are not making the necessary adjustments to allow him to access the curriculum. I would e-mail the head, ask for a meeting and point out that your son's needs are not being met, and that the school is not facilitating inclusion. I would make sure that it is documented re. the sad face incident. I would also call in CAMHS and ask them to go over the cards with the school again. If this failed, I would be writing to the LEA.

Hi Thederkins, we have weekly meeting with CAMHS, in fact i have an appointment 2pm this afternoon.

CAMHS are saying they will not get involved with school, as they did not give the dx and are leaving it to ASD Outreach (ASD are going into school for the 1st time today)

I had a meeting with the school (SENCO, Head, ASD outreach were present) last month.

I have applied for a SA from the LEA, it is going to panel this week.

Good luck with SA - we are in the same boat! Let's hope that if he gets a statement they will sort themselves out, as at the moment they are being complete numpties.

In the meantime, I would have a look at the SEN code of practice and throw a couple of phrases at them (in writing) re. your son's needs not being met, so they know you are serious as they clearly are not listening in spite of all the meetings etc.

In fact CAMHS are telling me they dont want to talk about school.

Its a bloody joke, ds has been going to CAMHS to talk about the 'worries in his head'. All of the worries in his head are about school. Whats the point of going to CAMHS!

Thanks Thederkin, i feel like im banging my head on a brick wall. The school wont listen and i cant get an 'expert' to back me up.

Yesterday for example ds tells me kids circled him and were teasing and name calling and he sat on the floor in the middle of the circle and cried.

I tell him he should tell a teacher, but he cant explain and gets in a muddle. The more i tell him to tell him to tell the teacher, the more useless he feels. (CAMHS tell me he needs to learn how to deal with this kind of thing)

Ds tells me last night the world is a horrible place and he wishes he wasnt in it.

This morning i take him to school and he is feeling sick (from anxiety i should imagine)

I am being seen as a precious mother, who wants to wrap her son up in cotton wool and the sun shines out of the schools arse!

Starlight, CAMHS wont put anything in writing until the 5 weekly sessions are up 'they are getting to know ds'.

I will be putting her on the spot today. The school are crap, but its not helped when professionals refuse to put themselves on the line.

We spent the whole of the last session talking about school and she then asked me 'what would you like me to do'.

I told her get involved, the school feel their cards have been a sucess, i have told you they have failed miserable and the reasons why, give your neutral opinion and recommendations.

'We dont referee'

Oh yes lets give ds coping strategies, so he can use them in school and fall flat on his face and fail miserably.

Star, ASD Outreach are going into school today. The school will tell them what a success the cards have been and what a happy, socialable little boy ds is and how he has lots of friends.

Not only have their cards been a success, but they have also cured ds of all his social problems too, its a miracle! ASD outreach, wont bother going back.

Yes, ds is a great success with the girls, because he will hug and kiss them whenever they want him too (he 'feels' they like him when they do this), like their own personal little rag doll, there for their amusement. The boys then tease him and call him names for kissing girls.

CAMHS are viewing me as over protective, my diary is me being bitter and controlling (they havent actually said that, but im not stupid) I will follow up appointments in writing, but i get the feeling i will be being counselled for being a 'control freak'!

CAMHS is the biggest pile of bullshit ive encountered so far.

Star, any idea how much it would cost? (roughly)

Im sick to death of telling professional that most of ds's problems appear to be around playtimes and PE........when do they observe him in the classroom ARGH!

He reports children are hitting all the time at playtime, OT explains he could 'feel' like others are hitting him when someone brushes past him because of his tactile defensiveness. She then observes him in the class room and writes in her report 'ds was able to overcome his tactile defensiveness and ice a bloody biscuit' Not a thing about what he has been reporting for over a year.

I despair, i really do.

Star, that is exactly what ds needs, a FULL day assessment, rather than 10 minutes.

I have applied for SA, but im guessing these will be brief assessments?

Is it worth doing both or should i wait and see if they have agreed to assess?

Can i afford £800.....no, will i find the money from somewhere........yes! it will be well worth it.

How did you find your EP?