Am i making moutains out of mole hills?

[claw3]

Honest opinions please.

Explained to CAMHS yesterday that the 3 visual cards that the school put into place for ds (although verbal, he cannot ask for help) have failed after 12 days because of the negative response he received from the school when he tried to use them.

He tried to use his 'overwhelmed' card at playtime and was sent to the Head Teacher for lying and received a sad face on his chart. After this he stopped using all his cards and he started self harming behaviour.

The school are insisting the cards have been a success and that he has stopped using his cards because he no longer feels overwhelmed.

CAHMS said they have spoken to the school and the school are stating that ds is happy in school and shows no signs of anxiety and that perhaps i should just accept this.

Ds has been sent home from school for pulling out his eyelashes to the extent of making his eye swollen and weeping (PE day). Also for being physical sick (PE day). He often claims he doesnt have his PE kit (when he does have it). Loses his clothes, puts on other peoples clothes and insists that these are his. Gets upset, says he feels sick on PE day.

Why i am the only one who can see the connection?

Am i making something out of nothing?

Yes went to bibic in December 2009.

Also had a private EP assess ds there (academically, not emotionally) academically she identified ds as being a 'gifted learner'. Her report doesnt reflect his 'functional' ability.

As i have said before not much use being 'gifted' when you cant eat, soil yourself, have all kinds of phobias and anxieties etc, etc.

I do have cat (i think)

Thanks.

claw, I second getting private reports done, if possible.

sorry I've been hopeless at organising a coffee meet - we've been on the verge of iminent house move for weeks - on/off/on again/maybe postponed etc etc.

we are now def not moving before April, so have a bit of breathing space

so, fancy a coffee and chat?

Hi Silverfrog, sorry just popped to the shop for milk.

No worries, im just as bad and im not even moving house!

We can try and arrange something for next week? (have a stinking cold at the mo)

'I tell him he should tell a teacher, but he cant explain and gets in a muddle. The more i tell him to tell him to tell the teacher, the more useless he feels.'

This is my son too.

'I am being seen as a precious mother, who wants to wrap her son up in cotton wool and the sun shines out of the schools arse!'

Me too, funny thing is i have two other children at the school who have never had a problem, they choose to ignore that little fact though!

I'm sorry i have no help to offer, but i do feel your pain.

Must dash, have CAMHS at 2 and want to run the hoover round and put a load in the washing machine!

My email is law dot d at hotmail dot co dot uk if anyone has info on private EP's much appreciated.

Silverfrog you are more than welcome to email me, dates, times etc to see if we can sort out this coffee we keep threatening each other with!

will do

hope camhs is a bit more helpful this week

Hi Spiced, if i have a pound for every time i am asked 'how about your other 2 ds's + 1 dss, do they have any problems' i would be a rich women. Alarm bells ring, oh you a step son, dysfunctional family alert!

What bloody difference does it make, even if they did have problems!

I think they view me as precious and that my ds is as a result of having mum fight your battles, i dread to think how they view parents who have more than one child with special needs.

Must run the hoover over the floor, have a carpet of dogs hair at the moment!

Thanks Silver, hoovering done, cup of coffee and 10 minutes to kill now!

I have reached the conclusion that i need to dumb down a bit where CAMHS are concerned! At the moment i am telling them why i think ds behaves the way he does and offering suggestions. This week i wont, i will be asking them why and asking them for suggestions.

Ds says its a horrible world and he wishes he wasnt in it. Why does he feel this way and what should i do?

Analyze that Mary Poppins on hellium

claw3 - I think Starlight has made some very useful suggestions, esp WR to the private EP report.

Don't give up and don't feel like you are being a fussy mother. IM (limited) E so far, it seems that many professionals who are involved with our kids use the 'fussy mother' tag to try to make you feel bad. But your son has just as much right to an education as the next child, and it is their job to provide it.

If you want to be clinical about it, their ignoring it strengthens your case re. SA to show that his needs are not being met. I would start an incident diary, so that when you write your reasons for SA you can qoute from it with day to day examples of issues you are having, such as him being sent home after self-harming etc as those are major social and emotional impacts of the difficulties he is having.

(slight hijack: Starlight Thx for your message. I figured after reading another of your posts that you were up to your eyes! We are at the back end of the first 6 weeks, just submitting our very long letter with reasons for needing a SA, plus the many reports from professionals we have to date. Fingers X-ed we will get one... Will keep you posted!

Private EP is a good idea and Starlight has drummed it into me time and time again to write everything down, she has taught me well

Thanks everyone for your replies.