As a male care worker I do object to how you are phrasing things Flowertots.
However, as others have already pointed out, the school has a duty of care over everyone at the school and anyone who is not CRB checked is not permitted to be left with any child on their own. Ofsted would not be happy!
we insisted in having a meeting with the head and her main class teacher in which we asked for no male member of staff to be involved in any activity with our daughter when she would be in a state of undress i.e. getting changed for swimming, going to the toilet etc.-they agreed this would be done.
How old is your DD? While it may be possible for the school to arrange that your DD is primarily taken to the toilet by a female member of staff, there may be times when they are not available... so what then? Do the male staff leave your DD to do it herself?
In 1992 this situation came up at a playgroup I was helping at... a girl had needed assistance and asked specifically for me. The playgroup leader objected. So at a staff meeting the women (who made up 90% of the staff) said that if I could not assist a girl, then they would assist a boy! Over 55% of the children attending the group were male. I was the only male helper and I was very part-time. So while such ideas of having one gender of carer only assist a child of the same gender is all well and good, in reality it often doesn't work.
Women Abuse Children too... books have been written on that subject dating back many years now. The cases which come up (such as the Plymouth Nursery case recently) are considered by the professionals in child protection to the be tip of the iceberg. So child protection measures need to apply to ALL staff, regardless of their gender.
The law apparently says volunteers do not need to have the checks done in order to work with kids.
What law is that then? I don't recall seeing that in the Childcare Act 2006. Maybe I missed it, or maybe they are referring to some other Act. If anyone says to you that the law says something, ask for the Act or SI reference - then we can look it up. In my view, and I suspect within Ofsted regulations it will more likely say something along the lines that volunteers can not be left alone with children at any time, until they have had their CRB check.
"mummy I don't like cock in my mouth"
That is however very concerning. However you said yourself that your DD does have "delayed speech, comprehension and generally bad communication skills" thus she may not be repeating things accurately.
That does not mean it gets ignored though. It needs immediate follow up with a senior person at the school - the designated child protection officer ideally given the nature of what has been said.
When asking her about it you need to be careful not to ask leading questions. Do you have boy and girl dolls? Does the school? Maybe those could be used to help her show what she means.
she started babbling about the male lsa going for a "wee and a poo".
Is it normal for the children to see staff going to the loo? Sounds a bit odd. Something to raise with the school.
I'm so confused as to what to do. Has dd innocently mispronounced something else or is there something more sinister going on?
It is so hard to know. Look at the bigger picture perhaps - has anything else changed. The way she responds to individual people, any regression in what she is able to do, any changes in her wanting to go to school.
WTF do I do about this?
I feel you must keep on at the school, in particular the individual who has responsibility for child protection. While investigations are a pain for all involved, your DD has made an allegation... though she hasn't named an individual.
Maybe she is referring to food. Are there certain foods she dislikes? Would school give her something she disliked?
Do you have someone you can talk with... for example your DD's own social worker (if she has one), your local authority Learning Disability Team. Raise it with the school first - telling them the exact phrase your DD said. Then if they don't react to that... contact your local Duty Social Worker. In Hampshire it's via the Children?s Services Area Office. In Surrey it's via the Children?s Services Social Care Team. Your local authority will have their own procedure for this... Google: Child Protection +yourauthority