multi disciplinary meeting - confused

[claw3]

Ds has come home with a letter in his book bag stating the school are organising a multi-disciplinary meeting and will inform me of the date.

Im confused!

1. Ds has never had a multi-disciplinary assessment, so who will the school be inviting?

1. Do you need to have a MD assessment before you can have a MD meeting.

The only person who has been into school is senior SALT to assess after Paed requested this.

Attilla, he is 4th on the list. The school is right on my door step as i have just moved boroughs, it is the closest school to me.

It has an ASD unit attached to the school and although ds would not qualify for the unit unless he has a statement, my logic is that they will have in-house advice on tap and hopefully better understanding and knowledge.

The only down side, someone i know has a ds with ADHD and he goes there, he is very mean to my ds whenever we see them. Ds doesnt seem to realise when children are being mean and doesnt tell.

For example we went to a birthday party at this boys house (he is older, 8 years old) this boy had allowed the other children into his room to play with his toys, but ds was told to wait outside the door. Ds just stood outside, it wouldnt occur to him to come and tell. Luckily i went upstairs to use the toilet and noticed.

Starlight, that is something that i have considered. I would love to keep him at home, just to protect him from the world if nothing else!

Then i put my logical head on and my concerns were that he has problems interacting with others and i didnt feel home schooling would help the situation.

At the moment he wants and tries to interact with others and perhaps keeping him home would be a step backwards.

He might find going back to school once the place becomes available very difficult.

Anyhow i have written the letter to school. I will have to prepare for both outcomes, the school saying they have no concerns or the school saying they are prepared to make some reasonable adjustments.

How about this for a plan of action. If they are not prepared, i will tell them i will home school until they are prepared to make some changes and write to the LEA, Governors etc explaining my decision?

Must get on and do some housework, thanks everyone for your input, very helpful.

Starlight, i have scribbled down your 'referrals/involvement is not outcomes'.

and if i hear 'ds is coping' i will scream! He shouldnt be left to cope, he should be supported.

Thanks again everyone.

Sorry guys, just had a thought while i was cleaning the loo!

How is progress supposed to be monitored?

The SENCO seems to be relying on 'i asked his teacher'

Starlight, brilliant quote, i have notepad and pen and im scribbling things down as i try to clean the house!

I just read this thread and I would agree with you it sounds like school are just trying to look like they are doing something. Agree with pick measurable targets. Choose something like social skills because that is really hard to teach and they can't say that is being met if he misses playtime! Ask what training staff have on teaching social skills (will be none), you could refer them to NAS Socialeyes course for teachers (no idea if this is any good but only course I have seen on social skills outside ABA) and ask them to fund his LSA to go on it. Ask for LSA to cover playtime. Pick target such as "within 3 months DS will play with a peer with adult support for x minutes at playtime". You could ask them to set up construction club or social skills club at lunchtime and set target eg "within 3 months DS will be able to participate in a joint activity eg construction of lego model with peer for 15 minutes, with adult support (adult to model conversation etc with adult fading out support)...Say exposure to peers isn't enough for your DS, they are going to have to teach social skills. Given they are just going to fob you off with vague promises, or wait and see, I'd choose something for the IEP which is really specific. They are supposed to measure progress against the past IEP so they have to have specific targets "within x months DS will be able to ..." and then you can say if the target has been met or not. I would say you want to observe him regularly in class so you can see for yourself. Has the EP seen him at school?

If they refuse to put on IEP. Say to whoever is doing minutes "I would like you to minute that I have requested DS has a target for social skills on his IEP and this has been refused".

Also daily living skills - get something about this on IEP. If they say not behind academically then say great so lets concentrate resources on those areas he is behind eg social, getting changed for PE etc and put them on the IEP instead of academic targets. About the cards, I would say if they argue this target (using the card) has been mastered, say great then lets move this on to fading out use of the card and ask how they are going to move your DS onto the next stage given he has "mastered" this part of his last IEP. ie the cards are not a life long solution, they are a prop, which needs to be faded out once your DS can access the toilet etc the same as the other children. Is he going to have a card to use when he goes out to work? When he goes to the pub? Make them see that they need to be moving your son step by step closer to an independent life like all the other kids. We have the same issue with visual timetable its presented as a solution - he will do what it says - rather than a stepping stone - it will help him do different activities independently. Its this attitude that we won't teach / change the child, we'll change the environment to fit the child and make our life easier.

Other thing I would suggest is arrange a coffee morning for parents at school with children with SN - make it sound like a social group. You can bet if they are being this crap with you there are probably other parents in the same school having the same battles and being fed the same line. You need to gang up on them. If you go to governors as group it is much more likely they will listen.

Ds draft IEP, so you can see what im up against! This is exactly as it is written too, no paragraphs, no columns, no boxes. It reads like a story, not an IEP.

Summary of concerns

X is able to follow class routines, however at time he separates himself, often physically from the rest of the class if a lesson involves an activity he dislikes (such as role-play or carpet time). On these occasions X becomes non-communicative when addressed, but will rejoin his peers after a period of time once the activity has began. X struggles on occasion to get himself undressed/dressed for PE, mum also reports that x dislikes getting dressed in the mornings and often mum has to forcibly dress him in order to get him to school. Eating is also a concern as x has an extremely limited diet and often will eat only a fraction of his packed lunch in school. His eating is also a concern at home. Mum has concerns with x toileting at home and at school as x does not appear to realise he needs to go to the toilet until it is too late, resulting in him soiling himself. As far as we are aware this problem has not yet arisen in school. However x has been given a 'toilet' card.

Emotional and Social

X finds it difficult to build positive relationships with peers and often misinterprets emotions or actions causing him to feel rejected and isolated at times. X appears to find it difficult to read other peoples emotions and actions and often misinterprets incidents in the playground when reporting them to an adult. This involves confusing the identities of children involved and the timing of the actual incident, at times events which may or may not have occurred on a previous day, week or month are reported as having just happened.

Help received

X has been given a home/school liaison. chart.
x has a pass card
x has a help card as mum felt he was reluctant to ask for help
x has been given toilet card

Targets

x will count, read, write and order numbers to 20
x will begin to apply his phonic knowledge to writing and spell 10 words
x will use his pass card
x will take no longer than 10 minutes to change for PE
X will use his toilet card

Action
states referrals to outside agencies

I dont know whether to laugh or cry!

This has been going on since September, that is their 2nd attempt at an IEP. I wrote to the school and enclosed my draft IEP, how it should be written with columns which corresponded with help, targets etc and even made suggestions of visual sequencing, timetables etc and enclosed laminated examples. I also added SALT recommendations to work on social skills. I wrote:-

Thank you for taking the time to see me on the 19th November 2009 and providing me with the revised IEP.

Having read the revised IEP, I am still finding it very confusing. My understanding of the purpose of an IEP was to help teaching staff to plan for the child, teach him, and review his progress. It should also be accessible and understandable to all concerned. For example the IEP could easily be implemented by a teacher who had no knowledge of X or his problems.

I found it very difficult having to flick from page to page trying to decipher what concern, matched with which help and target. I found there were concerns and targets, but no strategies in place to help x achieve the targets or monitor his progress. I feel the IEP covered the following areas very vaguely or not at all.

? What help should be given
? How the help is to be given
? Who will give the help
? How often the help will be given
? How progress will be monitored and how it will be decided if the help has been successful
? What the agreed targets are

Also the comment ?x does not appear to realise he needs to go to the toilet until it is too late, resulting in him soiling himself at times. As far as we are aware, this problem has not yet arisen in school?. The problem would not have arisen in school because x will not ask for help when the problem does arise, that is the problem. You are aware of the problem arising in school as I have told you several times that x returns home with soiled trousers; you are also aware that x is awaiting an appointment at an incontinence service. I find the wording of this comment, very misleading.

I can appreciated that one to one help is not possible because of funding and staffing etc, but there seems to be extremely limited help in place, other than seeking advice from outside agencies.

I am not asking for one to one help, just for some strategies to be put in place to support x, please see enclosed. Perhaps you could give me a ring to discuss any help that I have asked for, which you feel is not reasonable.

I am willing to supply any visual timetables that you feel could be used and help where ever I can.

Despite me phoning the school 3 times, SENCO has not returned my calls and sent me the MD meeting letter stating 'she had been busy with other parents and was unable to return my calls'

God that was long, sorry for boring you all to tears

Grumpy, I have to get them to acknowledge that ds is having difficulties first before i can make suggestions!

No EP in school, although i am going to invite to the meeting. Had a private EP assessment.

Minutes LOL, they dont take minutes!

Thats what they did to me at last meeting, i went all geared up with suggestions and examples and they sat there saying he no longer has any problems despite supplying me with draft IEP a week earlier outlining their concerns!

I really wasnt expecting that!

Grumpy - I have cut and paste and saved your post. It is such a helpful way to set out the right approach.

Claw3 - I can't add anything much as the advice so far has been so good.

I think you see it as one meeting which may be a chance to move things forward. If it doesn't, home ed for a bit before getting a place at the next school but have a long talk with that school about their approach to SEN. My experience so far locally (and from the teachers I know) that they are generally all have to be dragged kicking and screaming to do anything. However, if you can find a school willing to listen and communicate that will be a lot better than you are getting now.

Starlight, yes im getting that help doesnt equal outcome (i have scribbled it down too)

I am fully expecting to go to this meeting and for the school to say they have no concerns. When i mention their concerns on the IEP, they will say things like 'oh ds has lots of friends now, he socialises very well, he has obviously work it out for himself' or 'he has no problems getting changed for PE now'. The cant argue the soiling or eating as i see that for myself, but other than that they have cured him.

So before i can make suggestions or do anything else, im going to have to prove that ds does have these problems in school.

The meeting is supposed to be about what we can do to help ds, but if the school are saying ds doesnt have any problems, he is not going to need any help.

I would certainly second what Starlight (hello!) has told you, I would write the very same.

Do certainly apply for the Statutory Assessment asap, it will put the wind up the school's sails if nothing else. TBH I don't think you will get anywhere with this school in the long term (they seem both unwilling and unable to get his needs met) and you and he would be better off attending another school.

My son is a bit older than yours but I have seen far too many nice and intelligent children with a variety of SEN go under because of situations like the one you are in. The emotional cost on the parents is huge, let alone the child. You will have to shout and shout loudly otherwise you will get fobbed off. And it only gets harder the further on the child goes through the education system. No statement to my mind - no support of any real value. Nothing other than a Statement is legally binding

I understand what everyone is saying about ok the school think he has mastered the card system, so i should be asking whats next.

But all the other problems ds is experiencing the school have put nothing in place and if they are saying he no longer experiences these problems, why would he need help?

I think if they say that, then you have to go to another school pronto cos this is clearly crap.

Battling to get help for SEN is hard enough with a level playing field and the staff on your side. You don't need them constantly pulling the rug from under your feet.

I should add that I'm not just saying this Claw - as you know in lots of ways our position is similar.

I have moved my child before and would do it again if I felt I'd reached the end of the road.

Fortunately for us, DS is largely happy at school and we have today secured intervention from the Head of the ASD team. Plus school have demonstrated a certain willingness to understand ASD better(EBird Plus course). However, dh and I were just saying last night that if we felt DS was getting lost in the system, we would just move him elsewhere. It's not worth the stress on the family.

I appreciate as Starlight says that we would still have a battle but it needn't be this hard.