Can anyone tell me why some words are offensive?

[MmeLindt]

A friend used the word 'retard' recently and I pulled her up on it, saying that it is considered by many to be offensive. She is German and had not heard this and asked the reason behind it. I have searched a bit but not found a concise and clear answer.

She also asked what is considered to be the correct term that would not offend people. Would that be 'a person with special needs'? That is pretty general all encompassing, though, isn't it?

Tbh, I think all these terms have a shelf life.

If there is discrimination about a particular group, then any term used to identify that group will start as politically correct. So "retarded" used to mean literally that - that the person's learning development was retarded - later - than others. Nothing wrong with that. But because that group is discriminated against, the term started to be used as an insult. So you would call an NT person "retarded" if you wanted to insult them. Eventually, the term "retard" has more insult than fact about it, and in general use it is only used to refer to that group with contempt. And we have to come up with another one which is more respectful.

So at the moment I think the OK term would be "learning disabled" - or, as SMK says "a person with a learning disability" because of course that's always a better way to put it. But I imagine that in 30 years' time or whatever, people will be using "LD" as an insult and we'll have thought of something else.

Thanks, that makes a lot of sense. It is very difficult to know what is seen as offensive as the terms change all the time.

A 'friend' of mine uses the word 'mong' all the time to refer to anyone she considers to be not quite 'normal'

I find it really offensive - and is thus the reason we arent friends anymore!

"I think some words become offensive simply because of the way that it has been developed by our culture/society."

Sassure's theory of linguistics says exactly that.

A word is made up of two components - the signifier (the spoken/written/signed word) and the signified (the concept/image that relates to). No word has an intrinsic meaning, it is all contextual based on the constructs of the society within which it is used.

So, for example, if I said 'ulotrichous', you might not know what to say, because you (may not) don't know what it means. It means "having very woolly hair". Now you know, if I say "The clown is ulotrichous", you have a preconceived image in your mind that the subject of importance is the clown's woolly hair. It doesn't matter that he had those big red shoes on, or that he has a squeaky nose. He has very woolly hair.

Now, depending on whether woolly hair is a positive attribute in your society, the sentence "The clown is ulotrichous" will either be met with an increase in your opinion of the clown, or an increase in your negative feelings towards him/her.

Same goes for some of the older words to describe people who are living with a disabling condition. "Invalid" - root word is Invalid, meaning not legitimate, null and void.

"Retard" - "A BBC survey in 2003 ranked retard as the most offensive disability-related word, ahead of terms such as spastic (not considered offensive in America[13]) and mong."

"# Retarded comes from the Latin retardare, "to make slow, delay, keep back, or hinder." The term was recorded in 1426 as a "fact or action of making slower in movement or time." The first record of retarded in relation to being mentally slow was in 1895. The term retarded was used to replace terms like idiot, moron, and imbecile because it was not a derogatory term. By the 1960s, however, the term had taken on a partially derogatory meaning as well.[16]"

Quotes From Wiki

can I be the first to say that I'm not Saussure?

linglette - Im not so sure either!

linglette, you sassurely can....

What erudite explanations!

Blimey, you lot are all really clever..

For me its all about context & if the term is used in a derogotary way.

DS2 has a dx of spastic CP & ASD, spastic being a medical term BUT so often Spaz (which really is nothing more than an abreviation) is used/meant as an insult that sSociety now deems its use as unacceptable.

It is all about how society (often youths) use words... how many of us (of a certain age) were guilty of using the term "joey" as an insult, it all started with the man featured on Blue Peter, Joey Deacon, but for years his name was used as an insult by kids.
SSad & nasty I know but true.

different countries have different meanings eh?
in the states they have a paediatric wheelchair called the spazz

this is from their advertising blurb....

"Colours 'N Motion "Spazz" offers you the style, versatility and adjustability you need in your first wheelchair. With its simple design and clean lines not only will you look good in your "Spazz" but your maneuverability will be unsurpassed."

Also my sisters anti-epileptic drugs are called Tegretol Retard!

My fil refers to one of his nephews as 'mentally sub-normal.' It makes me cringe, but to fil it's just a description.

Times change

glittery DH is on them, me and the chemist have a giggle over it when I have to say it

i know, not very pc is it!

my mother used to call my son backward it drove me so mad I had to pull her up on it I know it's a generation thing but it still made me angry.

My MIL uses words such as 'retard' and 'backwards', she did use the latter when talking about my DS on a couple of occasions .

A lot of my older DS's friends (16Y) use words like 'mong', 'spaz','not all there'

I find all this very offensive, and i don't care what looks i get, i make a comment when i hear them say it.

'Special needs', 'disabled', 'learning difficulties' there are plenty of other terms to use.

It's all very complicated when you're bilingual. 'Handicapped' is fine in Sweden, but has negative connotations in the UK. (Presumably because of different histories of this particular word, nothing to suggest that the Swedes are generally less into political correctness.) If you try to translate Special Needs into Swedish it sounds very odd, not to say offensive. I am trying to get the hang of it, and teach dcs what is right for every situation, but as both cultures are obviously changing and I can't be in both at the same time, it's quite complex. (got told off by my Dad the other day for referring to an Old People's Home; apparently, that is now considered not comme il faut in Sweden; should be 'Accommodation for the Elderly').

Personally, I find Special Needs a little confusing, as people tend to assume that dcs have Special learning needs.

Tegretol Retard are so called because they are sustained-release, i.e. the release of the drug in the body is retarded (slowed) by the dosage formulation. Makes scientific sense, but am sure there are plenty of other words, without the current associations, that they could use!

I am never sure why disabled is any better than handicapped as both imply something negative. However, never use the 'H' word because I know it's offensive.

My friend's daughter (14) has been brought up to be staunchly anti-racist but uses the words retard and spaz with gay abandon (should I say gay?) It really fucks me off.

BBC's Ouch website forum is a good place to have this discussion as it is populated with mainly disabled people (people with disabilities/impairments, whatever). Within the disabled community, there is disagreement, though retard is an absolute no-no. I like it that some disabled people reclaim the offensive words and call themselves 'crips' etc., like gay people reclaiming 'queer'. NT's can't use those words though.

impairments hate that word, no idea why just do,
I just say dd is disabled. if any one calls her a spazz I let Ds deal with it

I haven't had any verbal abuse luckily enough. Just an egg thrown at my door.

Sometimes it's the root of a word that is the problem. Handicap apparently originated from 'cap in hand' because in days gone by physically disabled people would have to beg on the street to get money for the family because they couldn't work.

I've found that as awareness of autism has grown, 'autistic' is being used as a term of insult.
I heard someone say it in a pisstaking way the other week about their husband....'he was being a bit autistic'.

Lou, that explains it.

I will never forget being in an office when the Education Officer and Marketing Officer were working on a scheme to get people from all ethnicities and religions to visit the particular establishment, to make it as 'inclusive' as possible.

They put together a letter, and both signed it, so it could be photocopied and sent out.

The Education Officer looked at her signature, and said, Oh God, my signature looks really spazzy'

I was utterly appalled. (And, pathetically, I just wanted to cry. I will never forget it.