Can anyone tell me why some words are offensive?

[MmeLindt]

A friend used the word 'retard' recently and I pulled her up on it, saying that it is considered by many to be offensive. She is German and had not heard this and asked the reason behind it. I have searched a bit but not found a concise and clear answer.

She also asked what is considered to be the correct term that would not offend people. Would that be 'a person with special needs'? That is pretty general all encompassing, though, isn't it?

troutoput wasn't boris johnsona ccused of doing that recently? saying that bankers were being a bit autistic?can only report the rumour not the actuality though as no idea.

I tend to try and see the context. But turning up at a rugby event last year where the SN team were invited to find one of the coaches wearing a tshirt with the words mong (personalised so chocsen) across the front did make mefeel quite uncomfortable. the hostess lady calledhim on it but am not so sure it wasn't meant, how would I know?

If someone abit oldersays retarded I assume that they dont really understand the meaning , if soemone who should now uses it in a non medical fashion then I get annoyed, if I hear teens yelling it each other DH granbs me and makes me leave before I satrt mouthing off.

but correct terminology in a nasty fashion is just as bad. Special needs used unkindly is as bad as retard used with no malice.

Disabled I think is simply becuase it reklates to what is out there- DLA,blue badges etc. When its ahrd to know what covers who and on which level of which strata you fall, entitlement to DLA or whatever gives a handy phrase that you know is at elast accurate. IYSWIM.