The thing is, though, they care for our children too. How hard was it the first time you thought "there's something not quite right here."? How hard was it when you heard someone else say "I think your DC would benefit from a little extra help", (code for "there's something not quite right here.")
These people don't have MN, they don't have the knowledge or understanding that the openness of our generation gives, and even then we struggle, or we wouldn't need places like this.
When I first heard those words, I thought "Bring it on. If you think DD needs an assessment & support, get on with it." But I had been thinking for a while that "there's something not quite right here." whilst everyone was telling me she was delightful, full of character, etc. I knew she was hard work, and getting harder.
But, my Mum & Dad were shocked. "I can't see how they think that! She's great" My Sister was angry "How dare they say that about my neice." I had to say "Well, she's my daughter, and I agree with them."
Fortunately for us, DD started falling over a few days after the area INCO suggested 1:1, and we were seen at the hospital, then EEG confirmed Epilepsy. Not so easy to argue against that.
For our parents, they see the difficulty their grand child has, and the difficulty we have in dealing with it. And it hurts.
I'd quite like to think everybody had got it wrong sometimes But then days like today reinforce how far from normal our life is.
My Dad adores DD. He finds it hard to accept that she has difficulties. But yesterday, a year after her difficulties were identified, he said "DD definitely doesn't walk right you know. She reminds me of a kid I knew when I was a boy, who'd had Polio. She just walks oddly, tips her toe in before she puts her foot down..."
It was like a new revelation for him.
I suppose I'm waffling, but really mean, go easy. It's hard for them too, and they might not disbelieve it deep down, but it's easier than facing it. For them.