ASD - fed up with NT parents :(

[catkinq]

I have 2 children (7 and 9) with possible ASD (Aspergers). One is under the ed psyc and we are at the GP referral stage with both. What is really, really getting me down is the constant stream of comments from paretns of NT children along the lines of "well if you all ate together then she'd eat her veg" (yes she would and then she'd vomit); "if you didn't pick the elaves out of th epool then she'd soon swim anyway" (no they wouldn't); "all he needs if a firm talking to" (how to you talk to something that resenbles the taxmanian devil in those cartoons?); etc. No one seems to understand that they may be different adn that maybe the fact that you rchildren do no trespond to all of these standard child rearing techniques might indicate that somethin gis wired differntly in theri heads rather than that you are boing "too soft on them". Does anyone els efeel like this? I've just had to sit and listen to someone telling me that it i smy fault that dd has no friends becasue I do not make her get the bus to school (with the children who sat on her and sellotaped her mouth shut so that she would stop talking). What do you tell them? How do you explain that "not eating your veg" is not necessarily as easily cured as the TV programs make out?
Catkinq

I'm afraid I'm all chavvy with the walking malarkey than you silk I usually end up desperately pulling my hair out whilst death grip holding the back of dds jumper and pleading telling dd stand up walk just keep walking just keep walking mental breakdown coming on at the thought of it. Walking ends up more often than not with dd positioned potatoe sack style under my arm in that interesting-- position where she cannot kick/hit/bite me. normal carrying results in bitten shoulders and being punched in the face. Not sure which looks from nt parents are the worse.

Also invested in maclarren major. Gawd I love that buggy!

oh yes, thought I had the restraint grip sorted but I have a sore scratch on my wrist and a bruised cheek where he headbutted me on the way up the stairs to time out. sack of spuds worked quite well if the kicky bit was at the back and bitey bit well out of the way of hands but he has started scratching now though.

I need to buy a couple of those arm protectors they use to train police dogs so that I can strap him into the car seat. had a lovely bruise where he bit through 2 layers of fleece... enough protection not to hurt but not enough to stop the bruise.

ocassionally the technique of walking so quickly and holding his arm up so high means that he is so busy running along on tiptoes that he does not have the opportunity to throw himself onto his straps/ arm and dangle in the middle of the road in front of school.

frustrate - it's as literal as it seems. He climbs behind me on the sofa and wants me to sit back and press against him. DS2 tries to manipulaate me to do the same, too (he's non-verbal, so moves me where he wants me)

@ redwhiteandblueeyedsusan we were issued with these type of things at work:
www.amazon.co.uk/RDX-Forearm-Gloves-Boxing-X-Lage/dp/B004X1Y7LA/ref=sr_1_4?s=sports&ie=UTF8&qid=1341479604&sr=1-4

as you can wear them under a long sleeved top so no-one can see. Very helpful when putting seatbelts on!

My new favourite was yesterday at the 'visit your new class for September' evening at school where I was told by several helpful NT parents whilst DS was having a [rather well controlled for him] mini-meltdown about the idea of a new classroom that I should tell him "to get over it".

Here's me spending loads of money on supplements, hours and hours on social skills and appointments and consultations, and actually holding an SN job too and I'd missed this crucial point.

Can't wait to go into work and tell everyone to "get over it" as well. The countries social care budget crisis will be instantly solved :)

The best one I ever had was DS's maths teacher when he was about 14, he was complaining about his handwriting and suggested printing off worksheets from the Internet.

Instead of just thinking it, I actually said - he's had 7 years of three different handwriting programmes with support for learning, 4 years of OT and exercises, if none of that has made any difference what use do you think worksheets will do, are they magic worksheets?

Love this thread! We stay at preschool at the moment (gradually withdrawing). I do get told "You'll have to leave him one day" - my answer "Should I let him walk there on his own then because he'll have to do that one day too, should I leave my 9 year old NT child alone for the weekend because he'll have to do that one day?"

ps my NT child is just as faddy over veg and food as any ASD child and certainly more than his ASD brother who will eat virtually anything put in front of him and quite alot that isn't LOL.

Or the "the dummy/chewy stick is affecting her speech" comments.
Um, no, that will be coz she's selective mute, S&L delayed. ASD, has anxiety and a HI. The point is she's not gonna talk to you either way so begger off trying to tell me what is best

Well I'm and as just picked up ds from preschool and he excitedly told a mum there he loves light sabres and star wars and she literally shunned him and ushered her child away. Bitch

I want one of those gloves! . ...

"as you can wear them under a long sleeved top so no-one can see. Very helpful when putting seatbelts on! " -don't be silly I want to turn up in the playground in the full body armour and helmet
and when someone nosey parker finally plucks up the courage to asks "is it for....[insert some inane suggestion] ..?

I'll say "nah it's to deflect people like you...."

(have you ever seen the film 'falling down...?' - I want to be a female "Foster" and this seems like the ideal kit...

first on my list will be MamaMaiasaura's cowbag

love this thread,thanks for ressurecting it.
I would like to tell you one of my crap experiences....

I have a ds with asd he is 6.
We live next door to a family mum,dad,12yr old ds and 7old ds,
we get on well and i consider the mum one of my friends etc
My ds and this boy dont go to same school but play most weeks,when he comes round to play,I dont mind this and he often spends a couple of hrs messing about at ours.
I ask the boy over as I think its good for both my ds and his friend.
We never get invited over to theirs to play.
Discovered that friend had had a birthday party and ds wasnt invited Sooooooooooo, I went round to speak to friend and she basically said that it was her ds who had decided who was coming for the party,
I replied by saying why did you take what a 7 yr old had said,we are supposed to be friends, ds loves when your ds comes to play , have you any idea how that makes me feel blah blah blah.
I left seething and when I returned from town I received an email saying that she was sorry I felt like that(not sorry that she had deliberately exlcluded us)and basically back tracking and trying to justify her actions.

Thats it
Shite