Amber's safe space and tea corner

[amber32002]

I hope it's OK to start a thread as a safe space for me to be. I don't always understand the social things fast enough on here to be good at them, so sometimes need a quiet space I cope with better and am less likely to go into a shutdown/flat panic.

In case you don't know me, I'm Amber. I have Asperger syndrome, which is part of the autism spectrum, and mine is not the mild kind. I also have arthritis and a spinal scoliosis and I'm a bit dyspraxic.

Because mine is the visual sort of ASD, I see life in pictures, not words, and my brain hasn't got a lot of common sense or ways to find the information on different people. I have big sensory difficulties or differences: Some good, some bad. I can say things that are very undiplomatic from time to time , but feel awful if I get the social things wrong, so please do always ask me if I really understood something before thinking I'm or .

I'm not an expert or professional. I'm a mum who's asked by people or organisations to help with advice on what it's like to be someone like me. But I have had the honour of knowing and working and indeed living with with many, many lovely people with an ASD over the years, and many Experts who know far more about some aspects ASDs than I do. We try to learn from each other. I love learning from others here too.

Sometimes people want to know a bit about my life, and some of it helps some families and children (they tell me). It might not. There's no guarantees.

I don't think my own ASD is a disaster, or a brilliant thing to have. It's like a bag of those Every Flavour Beans in the Harry Potter books: Some good bits of life, some bad bits. Some things I can do, other things I can't, and some that go really horribly wrong. The things I can't do are many and varied and mean that I have to pace and balance every part of my life so very, very carefully and with a lot of help from friends, family and specialists. But there are blessings to it for me.

Someone once said,

"The secret of true happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have"

That sums up how I find joy and meaning in the little things, and how I've kept going through the worst bits.

So do ask if you'd like to. Or just have a cuppa here. .

glad you are posting againand I will have a coffee please black no sugar thank you

Most certainly Madam. Toast?
I'm very, very tired still. Just SO tired, the sort where my brain has to recheck everything 20 times before I am sure of what I'm writing. Might get a cuppa myself...
DH's next big tests are tomorrow and I'm pretty scared that they'll say something bad.

Toast yes please and marmite if you have it that means ds will not want to eat it.

Will they give you the results the same day

Amber, I'm so glad you've found a safe space & hopefully will feel able to stay here on MN.

You've helped so many people understand a bit more about your life & that's helped them understand more about the people in their lives who have ASD. Mumsnet would be a poorer place without you, not just because we'd miss you and your unique take on life, but because it would feel as if we'd failed you. (That's how I'd feel anyway)

I work as IT support in a junior school which has a resource for children with ASD and your posts have really given me an insight into the difficulties they face in their eveyday lives. I often get asked to create 'social stories' on the computer to help a child prepare for an event or get over a difficulty they are having, and I've found some of your posts a great help.

So I hope this will prove to be a place where you too can get support you need as well as giving it. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow & hope the results are better than you are expecting.

Thank you Phoenix and RustyBear, I'm not sure if we get the results tomorrow or if the consultant will look at the head scans and want some more done. And we still haven't had the heart test results yet either. All whilst trying to move our offices and ds doing his GCSEs and I have hardly any use of my advocate because her son died, and my assistance dog died. I guess it's why I've panicked and written silly pedantic rubbish occasionally instead of being able to think

(What helps me is the same as I say to others - safe quiet space, big duvet to wrap round me, I rock, and I have books of statistics I look at, and if none of that works, I can take emergency tablets but I don't like doing so. But the urge to run and hide is just SO strong. I think the Bishops are getting used to the concept of finding me in the cupboard or under the pews... )

Hey Amber - I'' have a cuppa please

Hi Amber, great to see you here

Hi Amber

Great idea to have a safe space

Nyrrem

Hi Amber - Ill have a piece of toast and jam with a hot chocolate if you are offering

I hope your brain starts to feel better soon
I made the mistake of trying to figure out something late last night - my brain was still wirring with it at 7am this morning!

Large pot of tea/coffee/beverage of your choice on the go. Please do help yourselves if the Aspie seems distracted...

Thank you so much; that's a lovely cuppa.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

It's sunday...i'll have that big croissant there

I fell over yesterday (i don't know why)...but it really upset me!. You know when something really throws you all day? I'm getting old i think...a bit less steady on my feet....(and my balance has always been a bit crap)

My knee is all grazed and i've hurt my shoulder

just answered on a thread about periods as I think I can handle that. Or rather talk about not handling it. Oh what DO I mean?
Pass me that medicinal croissant plate, quick!

Hiya Amber im glad you,ve got your own thread going, know exactly what you mean about the big duvet, i usually have spongebob or disney princess wrapped round me and a wordsearch book if it gets too much, hope everything goes ok tomorrow.xx

Just had my breakfast (tea and pancakes, yum)

Amber, glad you have this safe thread, particularly, as home life is so busy and stressful.

Let us know how you get on with DH's test tomorow x

Hello Amber

Hi Amber, so glad you feel able to stay and post. Well done, you

Morning Amber.

I will have a big greasy fry up please.

Glad your here (oops a hun nearly slipped out then)

anber I'm, so glad you didn't leave, I saw your other thread but just wanted to say that I find your insights very very interesting. I have been volunteering in various schools and there are children there who are on the autistic spectrum so your views really help me to understand things a bit better. Having greater understanding can only be a good thing for everyone.

makes self cosy in corner next to coffee pot and plugs laptopin

no dc today first time in forever 1001 things I should be doing but think will just stay here and mn,

whos is doing dinner ?

morning amber, i am so glad that you have started your own thread and are going to stay. i for one would miss your help and advice, and knowing that i can come on here and talk to you helps me a great deal .
i hope that you get on ok tomorrow with your ds, let us know how you get on.

bev

Morning
Should be writing an annual review report but much rather be having a cup of tea with you very very happy that you are not leaving us.

Lots of fingers crossing for tomorrow. Best wishes to you and hubby and boyAmber for his GCSEs.

Hi Amber

can i have a hot chocolate...cream...marshmallows
and a long spoon to eat the cream....
and a saucer to catch the spills that i will make!!!

I live a chaotic life and hope I can share my 'moments' to help me unravel the muddles in my head!

Yes, I think we can cater for all of that, though the vegetarian bacon's off.

Fell asleep in church . Good job a particularly loud chorus woke me, really.
Must also stop being completely distracted by the patterns on people's clothing