Anyone else want to moan about how hard it is with their dc?

[Blossomhill]

I have just had it today really. Sick to death of all the hard work that goes with parenting dd. She is just so challenging and it's getting harder as she gets older. I kow it's not usually the done thing here but honestly I really do feel like I have had enough

This thread has strangely helped me to feel better...

I don't tend to post much, but lurk a lot!

I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment, but when I look at the list of things me and my dh have had to contend with over the last 2 years, it's a wonder I am not grey!

It's nice (in a ironic sort of way) that everyone has admitted to the heavy workload and pressure.

It's so easy to think you are the only ones having hard times with a child/children. Everyone is so isolated these days, aren't they?

Because my ds goes to a special school miles away, by taxi, I never get to talk to other parents, but we must all feel similar emotions and have similar problems to deal with.

One day, I shall lurk less, and MN more!!

Have hair dye on as we speak twoisplenty

That is the prob with special schools we don't really get a chance to chat (saying that I am out of my sons mainstream school asap to get to work so i am sooooooo grateful DS2 gets transport to school)

It is quite a lonely life as a mother/father/parent of an SN child.

Yes, one of the drawbacks is that with Special Schools you don't generally get to hang around the school gates and chat to people. (Our Special School tried to counteract this by offering coffee mornings, but very few people pitched up!)

I am looking forward to dd1 finally going back to school Monday, after what seems like years of chicken pox! (Fingers crossed!)

I had some moments yesterday evening. It was my 6 year old's I.E.P meeting. Although I have now managed to get him a workstation in the classroom, I am still shocked at the lack of knowledge of asd in his school. I am fed up of ds's aggression, rude speaking, ranting, screaming, kicking.....endless sleepless nights.....the stupid lea....idiotic neighbours....I did wonder how great life would be if he and his brother were not autistic. I could just have a normal life, a job, a fantasy life! They could just go to school and have 'normal' friendships like other children. The could go to childminders and after school clubs while I had an independant working life.....
I hate that I go to bed, knowing I won't be-able to sleep through the night, tomorrow will be more of the same, and it will not end, there will not be a good day, I will argue with my dh, have a constant headache, the kids will rant and my 6 year old will hurt someone, probably me and hopefully not his younger brothers, and things will get broken. And his damn school are making it worse!

But, the fact that my 4 year old goes to a fantastic special school, is fantastic, am so grateful for this, honestly, could cry with joy sometimes!

I dropped dd2 at Afternoon Nursery yesterday, and had to take dd1 along too. She went ballistic that she couldn't go into the classroom (still recovering from illness, no longer contagious but had been having the odd illness related seizure) and then SCREAMED in the face of a new child who was just starting (3). Her mother looked appalled. I just smiled weakly at the Teacher, turned the Major around, muttered 'I am sorry she upset your daughter, my daughter has special needs' and tried to run out of the playground (crashing said Major into a fence on the way). And then, being totally pathetic, but under the privacy of sunglasses, I cried.

Because I had not been outside in ages due to dd's pox, and I would have loved to just have talked to another mum or two. Not felt totally isolated by dd1's challenging behaviour (she does a lot of hitting and spitting too). At least to 'pretend' things are 'normal' for 10 minutes, if you know what I mean.

I dropped dd2 at Afternoon Nursery yesterday, and had to take dd1 along too. She went ballistic that she couldn't go into the classroom (still recovering from illness, no longer contagious but had been having the odd illness related seizure) and then SCREAMED in the face of a new child who was just starting (3). Her mother looked appalled. I just smiled weakly at the Teacher, turned the Major around, muttered 'I am sorry she upset your daughter, my daughter has special needs' and tried to run out of the playground (crashing said Major into a fence on the way). And then, being totally pathetic, but under the privacy of sunglasses, I cried.

Because I had not been outside in ages due to dd's pox, and I would have loved to just have talked to another mum or two. Not felt totally isolated by dd1's challenging behaviour (she does a lot of hitting and spitting too). At least to 'pretend' things are 'normal' for 10 minutes, if you know what I mean.

PheasantPlucker, and all, I'm so sorry that we make your lives a nightmare from time to time (or indeed most of the time) when we're younger

Very large virtual cup of tea for those that need it...

Don't get me wrong, I adore dd1, but it is a bit upsetting sometimes.

Oh Amber, you have made me cry now.
I love my boys, and would never be without them.
The right support and appropriate education would go along way. My 6 year old is definately more stressed by school than anything else.

I hope I haven't upset anyone by starting this and I realise that some people have much harder times than I do. Of course I love my dd more than anything but sometimes dealing with challenging oppositional behaviour can be so wearing and I just needed to offload really. I have always been a heart on my sleeve type of person and try not to bottle things up. I do wish that dd didn't have AS and Adhd but it's more for her than my benefit. When you see a 9 yr old girl with bruises on her arms where she has bitten so hard that are black where she is under so much stress then of course I just wish she was like any other care free 9 yr old.....

I am sorry Amber I didn't see your post. Your posts are so inspirational and I mean that sincerely. I take so much of your advice on board with regards to dd so thank you so much for that xxx

Aye, people need SO much more support, respite, accessible support groups and meetings with other parents, etc etc.

I do remember what it was like with ds, being the mum with the ds who wasn't anything like the other well-behaved children, the one whose ds was screaming like a banshee in the supermarket, or giving every child at toddler group a good bashing unless thoroughly distracted 14 hours a day.

And the school gates were, for me, a nightmare of epic proportions. I was walking into a wall of noise and chaos and jostling from the parents and children, and all that random social conversation, and then getting some teacher wanting a Word with me about ds and the events of the day whilst other parents tutted disapprovingly and wondered why I was so bl*dy antisocial and never talked to them. I did want to .

So yes, lots reminds me of some un-fun years of our own.

But ds has just mowed the lawn and made me a very nice cup of tea. The lawn doesn't have very straight stripes, and the barrow of clippings is jauntily placed, and the mower's cable is wrapped alarmingly round half the garden implements now. But he's done it. It doesn't seem possible to have got from that, to here. We did. It's the only consolation I can offer.

That's lovely Amber