Ok autistic boy or boy with autism

[saint2shoesgeorge]

which is right?

I got confused in my own head today
whilst watching home and away.

boy with autism, I'd say

This is not a linguistically popular position to take but... I stressed about this when I first went onto forums like this one ie - what if the way I describe my own child alienates someone else? But, with respect to anyone I may have alienated, I eventually decided to let it come out whichever way it comes out. If I were described as a beautiful, bright or even just dark-haired girl I'd be ok with that (at least one of them is an accurate description!). I don't consider autistic a pejorative word, it doesn't mean evil or pointless or anything else bad it just describes a bunch of characteristics which are associated with my son (amongst others) - so autistic boy is ok for me.

I re-iterate that I'm aware this is not a particularly popular stance.

Well, yes. The 'correct terminology' thing is a nightmare for autism. I'm ASD and I'm not allowed to call myself an Aspie, really, even if I want to. It's all jolly odd.
But I'm feeling a bit rebellious today, so I will. And raspberries to the political correctness of it all.

For those who struggle with language, "an adult with an ASD" or "a woman with asperger syndrome" is a lot of words and syllables. Easier to say 'aspie' or 'autie', or Aspergic or Autistic but what the heck...

As long as people are friendly and inclusive and don't call us retards, I'm happy.

I describe my DS as autistic- it is what he is. I am aware from the discussions about Downs syndrome that have been on various threads that this may be controversial. In the case of DS I do believe he is defined by his autism - it impacts every aspect of his of life and personality. I do not see it as an insult, or a failure to see the boy, I see it as a recognition of the very complex and wonderful boy that he is.

I am with you 4nomore. However I would be aware that others may not wish me to describe their DCs in this direct way, and I would respect that.

boy with autism, but autistic boy isnt the same as saying 'downs boy', for example. The equivalent of that I suppose would be to say 'autism boy' which is clearly wrong. I describe ds1 as dyspraxic.

Yes I think you are right, Chops.

thanks I did think it should be boy with autism.
I mean I wouldn't say downs girl or cerable palsey boy.
Obviously if I knew the persons/childs name I would just call them that, but I have missed a few days of home and away and can't remember his name.

I totally agree witih 4nomore. I couldn't give a monkeys personally and hate all the PCness. So I am careful when talking to parents I don't know in case I offend them and sometimes set out to use the non-PC terms with professionals, ho ho. At home DS has all sorts of nicknames, but then so does DD, both depending on their behaviour and moods sometimes.

I say either they have autism or they are autistic, both are ok, imo.

have you watched home and away?

used to watch it religiously 2shoes and neighbours; don't anymore. Spend too much time on mn - should be cleaning (house is a tip) should be doing college stuff (too stressful)!!

boy with autism - but one of the mummy's on here once shared that (I think) her ds referred to it as autismic which I loved!!

I agree with widemouthfrog and 4nomore.

I do both - whatever pops out - but like Davros, am careful when talking to people I don't know well. Imo it's totally different to 'Downs child' - autistic is an adjective, whereas Down's is part of a noun(?)So 'Down's child' sounds clumsy and that clumsiness is what makes it offensive imo - it's as if people can't be bothered to use the correct term. It would be the same with 'Asperger's boy'. My friend uses 'Aspergic' to describe her DD - don't know if this is a common adjective or if she's made it up!

Is 'Aspie' unPC then Amber? I thought it was OK because it's what certain people with AS call themselves.

I often say "My sons have Aspergers"

(blank stare)

"They are Autistic"

(Knowing nods)

(sometimes if i'm lucky i get asked what they do that makes them autistic)

My dad even said tonight that ds2 learning to ride a bike this week... (i think....) makes him 'like a normal boy'

Sphil,"Aspie" is very un-PC, yes even though that's often what we describe ourselves as. No idea why. Personal preference I can understand, but how it came to be a definite 'no' is a mystery to me.

Mum23ASD, it's amazing what people say, isn't it.

Gosh, glad you've told me that. Haven't used it much, but I know I've said it occasionally (usually about DS1 and his possibly 'Aspie' traits).

Mine would says he's autistic or has Apserger's. He doesn't like the phrase 'has autism', because that sounds more disease-y.

He's more inclined to say that his brain runs on a different operating system which is not necessarily easy to interface with less specialised brains, and then stun the listener into silence with a lengthy description of the advantages of Ubuntu over DOS and Mac...

LOL Lancelottie....

I describe my son as autistic. He is verbal tho with learning difficulties also, and I felt he needed to be able to give himself a label at times... and 'I'm autistic' seemed simpler than 'I am a young person with autism and complex learning difficulties'!!

I do think it's v a very personal choice to be honest. I also work with teens with very severe autsim and I describe them as autistic individually, however I would NEVER ever describe them collectively as 'autistics'

I agree with 4nomore and Amber - it doesn't matter what my DS is called so long as it is done with kindness and tolerance.

Tbh I have probably used all of them at some time or another including calling DS an Aspie (usually only with DH) and I can't remember which is PC and which not.

lancelottie - I do like your DS's style though - that is a good explanation.

Hooray for those that call us Aspies, I say You have my vote!

Helens Melons - 'autismic' - that's cool and would really suit my ds I think!

Lancelottie - LOL! That's brilliant!

I always think Aspie sounds friendly too - it doesn't sound like something you should be scared of, does it?

I say autistic duo, sorry LOL

But I mean nowt by it.

Asp[ies also crops up, as does Naught Auties BUT if anyone else referred to the boys as such (esp. as ds3 isnt even Aspie in actuality) I'd thmp 'em LOL

Saying autistic boy is no different to saying disabled boy... he's not Disability boy though, the meaning are duntley but very truly different

A bit like saying Tall Boy (as a characteristic) compared to Height Boy (as in thats all there is)

I'm witteringa aren't I? LOL

I like the 'tall' 'height' analogy.
We officially call Ds autistic, but he also gets called a Numpty, strictly between DH and me though, and never in his earshot .