givemesleeporgivemechocolate, it is a wide spectrum, yes. We hear a lot about severe and mild, but there's a lot of ground in the middle.
As someone who got a diagnosis way, way into the "good grief, yes" rather than borderline bit, I know that I certainly do use "we" to describe many of the things that seem to affect both me and those I know who have classic autism. The challenge is that people often do think that Asperger syndrome is mild. I have that particular diagnosis only because my parents died ages ago so we couldn't ask anyone exactly what my speech was like as a young child. We only know that I memorised lots of long words, not whether I had a clue what they meant. Arguably the correct diagnosis could be HFA.
I didn't become aware that I was a person until I was 10. I had (and have) repetitive behaviours and obsessions. I certainly 'managed' mainstream school, in that I went there every day - but it was a living hell every day, and I was bullied relentlessly for year after year in every break, which left me with a terrible fear of people for many years. Girls don't often run and fight - we internalise it and 'shut down', which looks like it's mild and we're being well behaved and coping.
I struggled to do more than parrot most answers in my written works because I could only visualise things, not read them or calculate them in ordinary ways. It worked for O level because you could just memorise how an answer should look. It sort of worked for A level only because I chose highly visual subjects. I've never been able to access any higher level course for more than a short time - I simply can't do it at all, despite an IQ that in theory would give me a high Degree.
As an adult after school had finished, I had no help, I had a very ill parent and we had zero money as a family so I had to get a job. Back to 'living hell' again - I had no clue how to socialise, what to say or do. I was bullied relentlessly again by my boss, refused any promotion because I didn't know how to sell myself, paid a pittance despite being more capable of getting the answers right than my bosses were.
I tried relationships, and because I couldn't understand the body language ended up sexually assaulted. Just one example. There's others.
I tried financial decisions, and because I coudn't understand that people lied, ended up defrauded out of a lot of money by someone I thought was a friend. I still have little idea what a friend really does or doesn't do. Just one example. There's others.
On paper, I'm really lucky. In reality, personally speaking, I've needed a hell of a lot of help and never had any before I could afford to pay for it myself. I now never work alone, as I know that there's no way I can cope. I never live alone - I can't cope. I'm bad at looking after myself, and need constant reminders to check things that others find just so very easy to remember.
The pain from the constant sensory overload, the balance problems etc - none of it makes life easy if we don't have the help we need, tailored to the needs of that particular individual.
I do love my life, yes, but it's so very different to the lives of others around me. The ease with which they can say "hey, let's go out for the evening". I literally can't do that. The ease with which they can see and hear other people - I can't. The ease with which they know what to say. I don't. I've made my life work by having to do everything differently, plan everything like a military campaign to make it work for me, ensure there's always people around to ask, to help. It's exhausting. Triumphant at times, but exhausting.
That's the middle ground, I guess. It certainly is a spectrum.