Would you prefer it if NT mums didn't post here?

[Twiglett]

Would like to know the consensus of opinion in light of some recent threads on this board.

I often have a read through the SN board, because a number of the posters here are people I have grown to respect (or think are just plain funny). I also respond when I think it appropriate.

Am happy to continue doing so, or to bow out and just see you on other threads whatever the majority opinion is. Simple yes or no would be great. (no explanations needed, nor offence taken)

I love it when people who are just curious etc post...it keeps me in perspective as I do tend to get carried away......

also i feel it helps us in a roundabout way as the next time i am in a shop and my 'seemingly normal' 8 yr old is all but braekdancing on the floor...and 99% of the onlookers think i am a crap mum.....then maybe the other 1% have been on mumsnet and have an insight that 'just maybe THAT child is Autistic????'

Good Luck Peachy for tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Now a question the cafe au lait spots are these identified by ultra violet light????

I used to post on Special Needs as Stephi has a rare disorder which has not been entriely corrected by surgery and consequently she has still has problems swallowing.

However, I feel the SN boards have become almost entirely centred around neuro stuff so Stephi (designated NT, I'm sure since she's academically bright and physically disabled in a way which is unlikely to require benefits) and I are not welcome here. So I don't even bother looking at the boards most of the time, except with a kind of 'am I allowed - oh bugger it, why bother' kid of feeling

Socci, don't worry. Just emailed you back.

Jayzmummy, did you see what I posted to you the other day about the UV? It's not cafe au lait spots they're looking for with UV but ash leaf spots.

I have to say I would really miss your posts if SN ever became separate MrsF

So NT wouldn't include physical disabilities? I'm just curious, b/c DD has been experiencing gross motor delays since she was about 8 months old, and we'll be on to our first paed neuro appointment on the 27th. Her father has an inherited form of hypotonia which she may/may not have. But otherwise she is developing normally.

expatinscotland, I think Twiglett just used that term as it's kind of used a lot on here as a shorthand "opposite" to SN. The term only really applies to ASD, but I honestly don't think anyone has suggested that the SN board should not encompass physical disabilities.

Are you seeing someone at Sick Kids?

Yes, tamum. We are seeing Dr. AE McLellan. Don't know who that is. Probably I should do some research.

I don't know the name, but there are a lot of excellent paeds there. I hope you get some help and/or some answers.

Ta, tamum! Hope so, too. Dh was diagnosed in utero via amnio, as he has an older brother who was diagnosed first.

DD is 22 months on Saturday and whilst she can walk on her own a bit, she is not very comfortable with it (she never initiates it) and has very low muscle tone in her legs. She cannot stand w/o pulling up on something.

If they send you to see a geneticist (at the Western) let me know and I'll pop downstairs to say hello

Used to be Punnet. Peaches in a punnet? If you see?
Started to annoy me too.

Thanks for wishes, guys.

Yes, I would much prefer Sam to be at a mainstram school (will be elsewhere as moving but no bad thing). he just needs support at breaks and when teacher absent from class, he's alright when they follow their routine in class.

His ex-nursery teacher (A SENCO) suggested we get him IQ tested, she's beeen pushing for us to get him in a Private school on a scholarship, but with two other kids.... They used tot ake up to ten at his old Montessori, I'd have cancelled Uni happily if they did that now. Great nursery.
I don't think our great in every other way SEN school would be much cop for him.

On the other hand, if he attacks other kids every five minutes like he has been doing, they cant keep him in MS can they?

Christie, thank you for your comments. I have been a member here pretty much since the site's inception and have seen the different topics develop. There is nothing posted here on this thread which leads me to believe that we have much in common with other other families.

Most of the threads on Special Needs centre around issues which simply don't concern us and they do centre around neuro disabilities rather than physical; but apart from that when a child has a condition which occurs apparently 1 in 300,000 or fewer children, it's going to be difficult to find others in the same situation.

Only just seen this thread. BUT as a parent of two NT children I have to say how much more comfortable I've felt 'lurking' and posting on the SN board on this website compared to another I 'used' to post on.

I've learned an awful lot from people on here, and 'hope' that on the occasions I've posted my post have been of a positive nature. Obviously at although many children have SN of varying kinds at the end of the day we all have one thing in common - children. And (I hope ) a desire to make our children (particularly those NT ones) more aware of SN children and why they act like they do.

As someone else has mentioned above I no longer see a 'naughty' child and think "dreadful parents" I consider the fact the perhaps that child has SN - and what the parent would really like is for me to completely ignore them (ie not make it seem like they're being a 'spectacle') or to give them a reassuring smile.

Some of the threads also serve as a reminder to us NT mums of things NOT to say to mum's of SN kids - some of which I probably would have said without a thought previously - but not realising that they could cause offense/upset.

Sorry if this is a long, waffly, nonsense post, but I intend to keep reading the SN board, and posting where I feel I can 'give' an input. Even if its' only 'hugs'.

SueW - all our kids have differing needs/developmental challenges,and there may be lots of neuro mums on here, and not so many purely physical mums but the one thing we do have in common is the demands placed on us, over and above those placed on parents of NT children, plus the constant battle we face within the NHS to get appropriate support/help/education/diagnosis for our children. Stay!
expat - my dd has hypotonia and is delayed physically as a result, and no one has made me feel unwelcome, so i would join in too ! A few others on here have low muscle tone/floppyness issues iirc, so you are not on your own.
A few more NT mums posting rather than lurking may help us feel better and could bring other persepctives to the board too.
Would be very if people felt they couldn't post here.

This is an interesting thread and I hope I may put in my two pennies worth?
I don't believe I have ever posted on the SN board but I have on numerous occasions posted my minor worries on the B&D board and I have always been grateful for any replies ... I especially appreciate those with much bigger problems than mine who take the time to reply .... (especially Jimjams who has emailed me in the past to see if I am ok ... she is a bloody good mate!)
However, while I do understand what Davros is saying and I am all aware of how hard it must be for those with SN children I am wondering where it would be possible to draw the line in this respect.
Everyone has worries and I believe that each person's worry is big TO THEM ... it may not seem that big compared to your own life but to them it matters ....
For example, if on the Relationship section someone posted about a row they had with their husband wouldn't it be awful if someone came on and said, "You should be grateful you have a husband, mine left me with my 3 young children and no roof over my head ... "
Or on the Childbirth section someone posts about their long and drawn out VBAC and someone posts, "You should feel grateful you HAD a VBAC, I have to live all my life knowing I was never able to give birth naturally"
Or when someone posts about their baby being sick, I could post, "You don't know what 'sicky' is ... try having a newborn baby that projectile vomits EVERY feed and gets so poorly that he needs an operation at 4 weeks?"
Or ... well, the list is endless ...
So, how do you draw the line in debates such as this?
Gx

good point ghosty. ive felt the same when i see threads like "omg, my partner is working away tonight..how on earth will i cope?" and i think try being on your own 24/7 and then see how you feel. but then i think back to when i had a partner and i know i would have been exactly the same.

i dont know anything about sn, i admit that. i also admit i rarely look at these boards. but i would hate to think that if i needed to/suspected i needed to, that i wouldnt be welcomed.

I believe that special needs takes many forms, some of which are not generally thought of in that way yet. For example, my children are all NT, but it didn't stop my dd being so depressed that she took an overdose, and I certainly needed help then. I didn't come to the SN boards for that, but I think one day in the future this type of thing will be recognised as a special need. And there is no point in comparing the severity of the need from one child to another, there will always be someone with more severe problems than you.

But the main reason I like being able to read and occasionally contribute to the SN boards is because I learn from it. I don't come across SN children much in my private life and this way I can reduce my ignorance by reading and asking the occasional dumb question. It brings us all together, as we should be.

yes no, i am joking

I think what i wrote yesterday was misconstrude. i apologise if I upset anybody. i really am having a very bad time of things just lately and I have took my moods out on mumsnet. It is a neutral object in my spare bedroom which suffices for me to vent. i really cant help it sometimes and it has resulting in upsetting everyone. i cant do fluff, i only do real. I really dont know what else to say on the matter, I find "normal" hard especially just lately. i think for this reason i will most probably go back to my mumsnet break again. Sorry to everyone who i offended and I hgope I dont make things worse again

plus i am very impulsive, i dont sit and ponder over my posts, i just post them, hence all the bad grammar, bad spelling, insults etc I really should start to preview so as not to upset everyone

fio, when you 'rant', you sound as if you are ranting through frustration and most probably don't upset anyone We love you xxx

no anorak, i was awful yesterday, i have upset people. I just feel so angry inside, sometimes it comes out completely different and I take it out on the wrong people. i feel so bad about it all. i really must go to college now and try and chill

Please don't feel bad Fio, people here are wise enough to understand. Hope you feel more chilled after a trip to college

I agree - Fio please dont beat yourself up over this . I'm being one of those who sits on the fence with all this because I really can see all sides on this.

Fio you were one of the first mums who really helped me and you have a really good heart . Life is stressful and sometimes bucketfuls of the stuff comes our way . If you can't rant on here fgs where can you rant! I'm sure that the posters who know you can see the bigger picture Sorry to think you are so low, but if you want to CAT me please do