confirmation of traits (or lack thereof) in children with ASD

[misscutandstick]

I would be really appreciative if those of you with children who are on the spectrum, could give me some clarity on wether or not these personality traits could be exhibited:

. A sense of humour, however 'basic'
. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'
. Good eye contact
. Good verbal skills
. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)

Im sure ive heard people say that most of these can co-exist with ASD, but i would really like a firm yes or no kinda statement. Thanks for reading X

Dd1 has all of them and has a DX of Aspergers syndrome, Dd2(ASD) has basic imagnative play and i would say a sense of humour but none of the others.

Hi Mis

My DS2 has a dx of asd he is 8. He has a sense of humour, a big and loud laugh! and makes jokes - which are funny and a lovely surprise when they happen!

He has some imaginitive play, in whatever he feels comfortable, a game pretending it's school with his sister - it is repetitive but the imagination is definitely used to some degree.

His eye contact is variable - with familiar people it's pretty good - with unfamiliar not so good. He can also have good eye contact with a completely blank expression - even if you smile at him!

He can be sociable at times but usually with very close friends or his cousins. He enjoys some games, likes the company but doesn't always join in. He can go off by himself which is fine.

His verbal skills, however, have required significant speech and language therapy and he attends a communication centre attached to a mainstream school.

I hope that answers some of your questions!

my ds is 3.10 and now has good talking although atypical speech sounds
always joking and enjoys a laugh has good eye contact but not alway when you talk to him he could look you square in the eyes when talking to you but ask him a question his eyes shift sideways although rest of time meets eyes etc
can play in small social circles but tends to play alongside rather than with does want to interract but only with 1-2 children any more than that he walks off or plays alone

he will play with cars but his imagination is rather what he's seen or heard already not made up as such

my son always makes jokes also tricks you also

will play with his barney but its things i may have said in past will make games out of things so does have some imagination

wont look at strangers but will look at people his familiar with

My son is 9 ( Dx ADHD/ASD/MLD)and has most of these things to some degree - except good verbal skills. It is the age at which he developed them (late)and the quality that are unusual. For instance his eye contact can be absent or abnormally good (uncomfortable to others). He has a very good sense of humour (laughs like a drain at visually silly things like Tom and Jerry, or using a bin as a hat) although verbal jokes are as yet beyond him.

ds1 has all of them in the right circumstances (especially sense of humour- he is a real wind up merchant) except verbal skills (non-verbal aged 9).

It's all done oddly or idiosyncratically though.

. A sense of humour, however 'basic'

yes, dd1 has a very good sense of humour. she understands teasing (both us teasing her, and she is able to tease us/her sister), and is an absolute master of the wind up.

. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'

yes, dd1 has basic imaginative play skills. a lt of them are learned (she now knows to feed a doll, for example, but some true skills are emerging - she has pretended that a plastic carrot is a car and raced it around, and she understood her sister bringing a piece of baby meccano up and asking her to talk into the telephone

. Good eye contact

dd1 has very good eye contact

. Good verbal skills

not really. dd1 has a severe language delay, but is becoming more and more verbal. her labelling skills are excellent, and she has a wide vocabulary, but conversational skills are a bit hit and miss.

. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)

dd1 is incredibly social. she loves nothing more than being with people she knows, and is always badgering for stories/songs etc (and in a good way - sharing them, and talking about them, not just wanting to be read/sung to)

dd1 is 4.7, and was diagnosed ASD at 2.6ish

DS1 is 3.5 dx ASD.

He has a sense of humour (loves to tease and be teased) and imiginative play (although it can be quite repetitive when he's struck on an idea).
His eye contact varies, in fact with people he doesn't know well and he wants something from them he will plead with his eyes IYKWIM, but when he is actually speaking it is not as great.

He is quite verbal and a lot less repetitive than he was a few months ago but rarely speaks to people he doesn't know.

He is sociable with children he knows well and say just a couple of other children he doesnt. He will only be sociable with adults he knows very well.

DS has a wonderful sense of humour and has us howling laughing at some of the things he says.

He has limited imagination,usually imitation or copied from somewhere or something to do with spongebob squarepants.

He has excellent verbal skills,although sometimes he talks quite formally.

His eye contact is quite fleeting

Hes very sociable with us and a small number of trusted friends,but others,he couldnt care less and doesnt want to socialise with them.

DD struggles with humour,doesnt get jokes,gets very upset if she thinks people are laughing at something she has said,even if it sounds funny at the time.

She also has limited imagination,eg she could play with a doll and give it a drink but she has seen others do that.

Her verbal skills are confusing as she will either completely ignore you and appear deaf or she will talk your socks off if its about dora the explorer or upsey daisy.

She is quite sociable again with family and a few trusted people but other children she wont acknowledge or bother with.

Let me see

. A sense of humour, however 'basic'
DS2 only sees humour in cartoons or when my neice throws a paddy when he is annoying her.

. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'
Very very basic imaginitive play. He will bring a toy over and pretend the toy is saying hello,but thats about it.

. Good eye contact
Nope

. Good verbal skills
Nope

. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)
He will socialise with his brother and my neice, and also occasionally my stepneice.

DS2 dx with autism when he was 2.

Sense of humour - Yes, ds2 has an amazing sense of humour.

Imaginative play - Yes some but very limited & within a very limited subject matter.

Eye contact - Variable

Verbal skills - good vocabulary but poor verbal skills

Fairly Sociable - No not really, would happily never leave the house or see anyone beside me, dh & ds1.

Humour - loves a joke but has to have them explained very thoroughly if he doesn't 'get' it (like sarcasm, play on words etc) then he will find it hilarious. Loves visual humour like Mr Bean as there are no words to misinterpret!

Imagination - yes if it is something he has seen before or done before or read about before. Our paed and psychologist both interpret this much more along the lines of a lack of social imagination ie not understanding how others are feeling, or doing it clunkily having learned from previous experiences.

Eye contact - not brilliant but ok if feeling safe or with familiar people.

Sociable - prefers adults or younger children rather than those his own age akthough he would love to 'fit in'. Likes his own company though and pends long periods on his own doing his own thing.

Verbal skills - excellent until frustrated then words go and fists and feet come into play.

DS has a dx of AS.

DS2 has a dx of severe ASD. He has a sense of humour - to the extent that he can pick up on a 'look' that I give him if he's being cheeky and will laugh. I've tried making this 'look' very subtle - and he still does it. His eye contact is pretty good unless he's being asked to do something he finds difficult. He is very sociable if he thinks the person is likely to be fun!

Imagination - not really - though he was enjoying me pretending to be a) a dog barking and b) a tree blowing in the wind today (don't ask) and was egging me on to do it more. So he understood that I was pretending to be something else, but he can't do it himself, unless he's imitating.

Verbal skills - mostly single words but can make his wishes known to people who understand his speech.

Many many thanks for sharing, I appreciate your time.

I have for some time suspected that DS4 has some 'quirks' in the ASD direction. He has most of the above, apart from 'good' verbal skills. His speech/language has been described as delayed and disordered by his SALT today. His OCD-ness is getting worse by the week, but the above abilities have kinda kept my concerns from thinking ASD (possibly mild Asbergers). His nursery teacher has asked me to refer via GP to paediatrician.

I think DH thinks its just a bit of OCD because he has a sense of humour, imaginative play (bit basic, but he is quite young) and good eye contact.

thanks again XXX

misscut&stick
its a good idea to get him assessed if concerned.
My ds2 has severe OCD type behaviours mixed in with his ASD. I have been told it is extremely rare to dx OCD alone in a pre school child.
Although OCD alone is very treatable.

Well, I'm not a child now, but I was...

• A sense of humour, however 'basic'

Guilty as charged, m'lud. I have a very good sense of humour, though it's largely based on the way my brain sees and hears the world around me. I've always laughed at some comedy programmes. Not everyone 'gets' my sense of humour thought (oops).

. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'

Yup. But it's to do with my way of imagining things. Could never be bothered to play with a cold hard plastic doll and pretend it was a live, warm, real baby. It isn't.

. Good eye contact

Define 'good'. If you look at eye contact from a scientific point of view, an NT person has automatic eye signalling. Eye contact follows a lightning-fast pattern of communication back and forth, conveying meaning, emotion, status, friendship, etc. Yes, we can learn to stare into your eyes, but that's the equivalent of saying that a painting by Leonardo da Vinci is the equivalent of you dropping a can of dulux on the carpet. It isn't. Our eye contact doesn't convey much meaning, even if we can do it. It's not automatic. it's rubbish compared to your sort. It can get us into all sorts of social trouble if we learn to just stare into people's eyes, to be honest, because it can come across as a threat signal to other children.

. Good verbal skills

Define 'good'. If a child can hold a complex conversation with a group of friends, conveying meaning, tone of voice, reasoning skills etc, and able to 'play' with words and do creative things with them to get what they need from people, I'd say that's good.

. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)

Define 'sociable'. Again, most people are able to use body language, tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact to socialise with others and know what's happening, what their status is in that group, who's friends with who etc. We can perhaps join in, but the group and its dynamics are an eternal mystery. Most of us want to be able to join in, but it's overwhelming and confusing and we give up trying. Not the same thing as not wanting to be sociable. I've learned to be sociable in ways I can cope with.

intresting my ds almost 4 has sense of humour but vry slapstick
imaginatce play well long as its casor trains will push them around happily n sounds though

eye contact only with adults that he knows well or his siblings not other children
hes non verbal
sociable will play with his sisters but not other children , is more often than not on his own at preschool

he does hav problems with loud noises ie hands over ears

he does like things done set ways ie we take his sister to school we have to go to tescos

was slow to point ie 2-1/2 had teach him hand over hand

if were in new places will prefr his buggy or loud places ie tescos he has g in trolley or will scream hates busy places

was slow to walk still has issues now pysically wise with gross .fine motoe control

he ticks most boxes on the triad

but been told hes not on the asd spectrum as he will concertrate on things this was in a 20 min drs session

and think I need use spellcheck more

Thanks anon, I think if the teacher has mentioned a referral then theres probably a good reason for it.

Amber: as always, a fantastic insight. I hadnt really thought of the nuances (SP??) of social graces and its complexities, tho i have to admit to struggling a bit in social settings myself, its all a bit 'in my face'* .

DS4 seems to be fine in social settings, he has enough children smiling at him and calling his name. BUt i havent looked any deeper than that. I am told he 'contributes well in class' and is keeping up with work well.

He does play imaginatively, ive seen him - it usually involves lots of crashing bridges, cars and trains, and making houses to be a dog. I suppose 'factual' imagination, as opposed to a 'caring' scene with families/babies/animals.

I didnt realise that there was more to eyecontact than giving some to the recipient , ive always felt very comfortable with his eye contact... but thats not saying much now is it?

His language as ive said is not quite right, but is doing well with SALT support. He doesnt 'quite get' some language, like some questions. He talks at 100Db constantly, but is usually shouting "dont shout!". He is quite verbose, sticking in extra words that arent really needed in the sentence, although in context. Doesnt get verbal jokes (but he is a bit young, 3.10y) but loves teasing and slapstick.

His OCDness involves things like: needing his food on the same plate, sitting in the same chair, NOT wearing clothes that are "bobbly" or "cold", he is a very picky eater, watching videos in a certain order, and all manner of little things that must be done "just so". He was a very fussy baby too.

when its written in black and white it looks awful! It doesnt feel that bad, its just a bit inconvenient sometimes.

*Ive made some awful faux par's , insinuated that a girl fancied a boy (misread the signs) to find out it was his sister , done the 'overloud' voice at a party to find that the person i was discussing was a friend of the person i was talking to . Being the last to leave because i was so wrapped up in my own conversation i didnt realise that everyone had already left and it was just me wittering on. Too many to mention inappropriate conversations at the wrong time and place. And probably the one i feel most awful about: On a friends wedding day banging on about my financial hardship, boring her to tears, on her wedding day, and keeping her from 'mingling' with her guests. Of course its only when i re-run these things in my head later, i realise how it actually looked to others

ooh phoenix, x-post, i had forgotton, DS4 is covering his ears more and more too . Hand-driers, taxis (the black ones), the milk expresso machine, are culprits amongst many.

Phoenix, I hardly think 20mins covers a thorough investigation! Im for you. Can you self refer to another professional who might take you more seriously?

yep plus car and bus engines even though he loves cars and big nono for him is motor bikes that will set him screaming ,though if motor bike parked he loves looking at them

sense of humour, however 'basic'

Yep, but often odd or immature humour. Quite repetitive too.

. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'
Didn't develop it till about 5/6. Still very rigid in his play and very repetitive.

. Good eye contact

Only on his terms. If he wants something/ is asking someone a question, it's very intense eye contact. But not if someone's talking to him.

. Good verbal skills

Excellent verbal skills. Too good at times. Delayed echolalia so repeats adults' words later and TV programmes etc. Uses language inappropriately though - no sense of differentiating between how he speaks to people.

. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)

Very sociable, on his terms and with certain people. Can be far too in people's faces - he's the 'active but odd' autistic child, not the passive or aloof type. He always wants to be in control of others, so he's sociable but with an aim in mind!

sense of humour, however 'basic'

Yep, but often odd or immature humour. Quite repetitive too.

. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'
Didn't develop it till about 5/6. Still very rigid in his play and very repetitive.

. Good eye contact

Only on his terms. If he wants something/ is asking someone a question, it's very intense eye contact. But not if someone's talking to him.

. Good verbal skills

Excellent verbal skills. Too good at times. Delayed echolalia so repeats adults' words later and TV programmes etc. Uses language inappropriately though - no sense of differentiating between how he speaks to people.

. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)

Very sociable, on his terms and with certain people. Can be far too in people's faces - he's the 'active but odd' autistic child, not the passive or aloof type. He always wants to be in control of others, so he's sociable but with an aim in mind!

My son (dx Aspergers)

. A sense of humour, however 'basic'
He has an absolutely fantastic sense of humour which people are always commenting on - however his Cons Pysch admitted that it was a factor that made his eventual dx a difficult one to make

. Imaginative play, again however 'basic'
definitely. He's full of very surreal possibilities, unconstrained by conventional thinking

. Good eye contact
Not at first but has been proactively taught

. Good verbal skills
Definitely. As a baby he didn't speak 'first words' but 'first sentences'

. Fairly sociable (albeit with only certain groups of people)
Definitely sociable with people he likes - not his peer group. Preferred adult company as a childbut took a long time to build up trust in people. Wanted to 'belong' with his peer group but couldn't understand them.