Im really sorry this is a long post.
Im soooo tired. J isnt sleeping at all and I am totally exhausted. Last night was the 3rd night in a week where I havent even made it upstairs let alone get into bed. Im just going on auto pilot and muddling along in my own way. I managed to get some sleep over the weekend because dh was home, but even so I am done in!!!!
This morning came so quickly....the nights are flying by now. I had a lovely day planned for J and I....first day back to school....so we were going off to do our school work and have some fun.
The world has just crashed down around my feet and now I am sat here in floods of tears. J is asleep on the sofa so thankfully he cant see me.
The postman has just bought us a letter from the Paed. His letter is disgusting and it has reduced me to this jibbering wreck. The letter is full of lies and untruths and he has ciculated it to everyone who is involved with J.
I dont know what to do anymore. I have to fight all the time to get J the things he needs and I havent got the energy or the strength anymore to carry on fighting the system.
I gave the Paed all the details about J's biological family and he has dismissed this as being hearsay!!!! WTF is he on? Why would I sit and tell him my sons birth family had so many mental health issues if this wasnt the case? its not hearsay...its fact and is very heavily documented throughout J's mediacl file....if only he could be bothered to read it!!!!
He even has reported in the letter that I apparently tore up his last letter to us.....I did not nor did I say anything to him of the sort...why is he lieing????
What I did say was I found his last letter to us distressing and that what he had written about us had tore at my heart!!!!
He states that he was unable to assess J because J had refused to attend....lies again. I told him I was not happy for J to attend when I felt we had so much to discuss and did not feel it appropraite to have J present whilst we talked about his problems.
He has even stated in the letter that he feels hubby and I were not given appropriate advice with regards to J's biological family and the posible chance that J would have a mental health problem by social services when we adopted him. He uses the phrase...."these adoptive parents" through out..." I question whether these adoptive parents fully understand what they were taking on when they took J and his brother into their care?"....that bloody hurts.....he talks about my sons as if they are worthless....I am J and R's Mom, always have been always will be.
He goes on to critise us for trying to get an assesment done by Gilly Baird at Guys and suggests that the post adoption service would in his opinion be a more suited area to contact for support. He suggests that we contact our adoption social worker who may be able to help us and assist with J's emotional difficulties.
"It would seem to me that many of the most pressing needs, including management of his reported behavioural problems at home, can be addressed quite apart from any ASD assessment. It is indeed regrettable that there is such a long ASD assessment waiting list and it seems inequitable to arrange an out-of county referral only for those families who feel the need to resort to intervention by a solicitor and the local MP."
So what the hell do I do???????
I am just so glad we had our private assessment done.....at least I know I am not some crazy fool....Im so scared....he is branding me as being some neurotic mother and is now talking about the boys adoption....I cant take this anymore.
Im sorry....I just dont know where to turn anymore.