I hope you can bear with me on this. I am new and confused about the whole ASD thing. I realise it covers a wide range. So I may be going back and forth over this. And contradict myself.
I have a DS 5. He is currently being assessed, however I would say that most of the people involved believe he is ASD on the spectrum. Perhaps where and how much is up for debate, but it seems they have given enough hints about it. His mum is one of only a very few who cannot accept there are any symptoms and behavourial traits. She believes a simple better parenting (my poor parenting) and a strong rod (I'm too lax) are the answers. (we are divorced and DS is with me).
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He has various behavioural patterns that I would acknowledge as symptomatic of ASD. But generally mild.
Speech not so clear.
Not picking up on social norms - fluently. I mean he does observe, but he often doesn't apply them consistently.
I've noticed more that his "creative statements" are actually from programs/people and are often repeated in full - sometimes not really appropriately.
I read somewhere, someone talking about "stim"? Something they do to relax? I know he has a certain action/sound he makes whenever he has had a stressful day. He acknowledges it relaxes him. He actually asks to do it, and knows to do it only at home when no outsider is around.
He wants friends, but doesn't actually seem to understand how to keep them or make them.
He can get very emotional over little things.
He sometimes doesn't seem to know when to stop (doing something).
His frustration often involves lashing out in attitude and occasionally physical (although this is still rare)
He is very observant.
He has a very good memory (remembers everything) - just seems to chose when to recall things, and its also not immediate remember recall.
He doesn't seem to pay attention in the class, or understand what the teacher is saying, often relying on following the herd approach. Seems to queue up processing instructions.
Motor skills are weak.
Talks about things he wants to. Doesn't seem to be able to talk about other things unless interested. (with other people)
Mixes reality and fiction much more, recently.
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The trouble is I can often wonder if all of this is simply normal too and I can't quite balance where I should be looking.
I let him do his "relax" technique, because I think it helps him. However maybe I am encouraging it by letting him....if you see what I mean.
He can't make friends - just shyness?
Over emotional and lashing out - just from the stress of school and parental fighting?
Motor skills - he just needs a lot of practice.
School attention - needs a firmer hand.
Talking to others and mixing reality - just being a child?
Good memory? So have I?
Slow in processing? Just thinking about it in more?
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The psychologist, teacher, previous teacher, speech therapist, all say he is an enigma. He displays traits, and yet sometimes does not. He is not consistent. But like I said, they all do believe there is something.
I apologise for coming here for what is very mild SN symptoms, but I needed a sounding board. Professionals don't really want to talk informally incase they say something later is wrong, the web is so overloaded with information which covers everything.
It is only recently I understood that the "doesn't want to make friends" can really be "Really wants to make friends, but doesn't know how to". Again it sort of made sense (light bulb moment), but then I thought don't lots of shy children have the same problem?
The other thing is many "one time seeing" people, who are not experts - just parents, immediately think there is something too (mentioned to me much much later dates).
Any comments to help me understand?
Sorry about the babbling on here
Thanks