Meltdown about shoes

[debs40]

Hi

I posted a couple of months ago about my five year old as I feared he had some sensory issues but I was worried about pathologising what could be ?normal? childhood behaviour.

Anyway, my son is a bright, happy little chap who is doing fine at school and has friends. However, he has certain behaviour traits which worry me and can be overwhelming sometimes.

For example, he can?t stand labels and seams, shoes too loose or tight, won?t wear certain clothes, his polo shirt for school has to be just right, he can chew on things unconsciously, he doesn?t like many foods and will gag at smells or sights of cheese/butter and other things. He seems a little malcoordinated too. He can also go into meltdown when emotionally overwhelmed.

These things come and go. Last time, when it seemed bad, I was going to have a chat with the GP but I changed my mind when things settled and hubby wasn?t too keen.

However, there have been several incidents of trying behaviour while he was ill in the hols. Hubby was off and could see a little more of what I mean (particularly the gagging etc) but we put it down to him being ill.

Today, I tried to get him to school. We had all been really happy and not at all rushed. But he went in to complete meltdown over his shoes which have been fine so far this week! They were ?hurting? him. There was nothing in them to rub him.

I tried his old shoes (which were perfectly good but he?d stopped wearing them because they were ?too loose?) and he wouldn?t have them on. He was hysterical.

I had to ring school as we were late. I had my three year old in tow and I didn?t know what to do. We were all in tears.

My son?s distress was genuine and I felt like a crap mum as I didn?t have any ideas. It took me a month of shoe shop visits to get these shoes. He has narrow feet and I had to order them for him. Now he won?t wear them!

I put his boots on in him and he just hugged me saying ?thank you mummy ? again and again. These boots cost me £60 before xmas but he needed some non-school shoes for his holidays and NOTHING else would fit or be acceptable. They have laces so can be pulled really tight but he can't do laces so they are not good for school.

I think hubby has seen this as ?bad/spoilt? behavioiur to date. He wasn?t there tod\ay but could see this isn?t right!

I took him into school half an hour late and they were really good about it.

I rang my health visitor who was great and listened and said it wasn?t about labelling but about support. She has a meeting tomorrow with local GP and school nurse etc and will raise this and get back to me as to next step.

I?ve also made an appointment to see my GP next week.

I end up dreading him getting dressed or eating as it feels like a constant struggle. I can't buy him anything without him complaining about how it feels on him.

Many of the foods he used to love (e.g. cheese) he won't go near now.

I?m struggling to cope at the moment as my disabled brother has just been moved 300 miles into sheltered accommodation near us as his carer (my step-dad) is very ill. I?m having to make evening meals for him and wash clothes etc and my husband works an hour and a half a way so can?t help.

I hasten to add that the kids love my brother and I think they have been largely protected from the stress of his move.

What is the next step if sensory issues are suspected?

Sorry to rant on and on. Just having a bad day

dx

I would think start the ball rolling with the gp first, although you may need to ask some specific questions from the teacher or senco.

I can only go off my experience. But I did the 2 prong attack. Someone on this forum mentioned Aspergers (Id never heard of it) looked it up and thought that was ds, I was that convinced I rang the school, who said to be honest they had thought the same since week1 of starting school and they where quietly assesing him. I then researched as much info and then went to the Gp.

I must just say, I was lucky, my sons teacher has a son who has dyspraxia, which we think ds has a co morbid of and recognised the signs.

Like magso said you need to ask specific questions to the school, perhaps arrange a meeting and voice your concerns.

Well, after several days of meltdowns and tears and over emaotional behaviour and clingyness (and me wondering if I'm going mad!), ds tells me today he missed some of his 'golden time' at school for getting a red card yesterday.

They have half an hour every Friday to themselves at school to chose to do something special but lose a bit of it if they get a 'red card' for bad behaviour.

He's never had one before. He's five (six in feb) but he tells me he hit another boy in the playground who was shouting and scaring people as it really annoyed him.

Hehas only ever hit out as part of games before (star wars and the like) so I was really upset by this and I think it reflects his high state of alert this week.

I think this needs pursuing and will wait to see what my health visitor says next week. She is speaking to our doctor too.

But I have contacted his teacher to let him know. There are changes in the class between teachers and ta's in the week and I don't think a whole picture is filtering through.

Thanks for all your help this week. I wouldn't have coped without coming here to let off steam!!